TG Theodore

“Montgomery Scott, put down that elf this instant!”

The curious nine-year-old froze in his tracks. He knew that tone of voice. His mother was in no mood to dillydally.

“But Mother, I—”

Arlyne Jorgensen Scott began tapping her foot.

“Aye.”

Reluctantly, Montgomery Scott surrendered the robotic Santa’s helper to the repairman and ambled back to his mother. “I only wanted t’see how it worked, y’know.”

“I know you, young man. In three more seconds you would have had it in pieces.”

Scotty smiled. “And in ten seconds I would have had it back together, workin’ twice as good, too. The power’s been out on the whole sleigh ride for ten minutes now. I coulda had it back up and runnin’ in three.”

His mother laughed. She had a beautiful smile and a wonderful laugh, he thought. Blond and fair-skinned, remnants of her northern Scottish and Danish heritage. Scotty could only hope to one day find a woman half as pretty as his mom.

The Aberdeen town square was in its full holiday glory. With so many diverse and important holidays in December, it had become a long-standing town tradition to recognize them all by having a month-long celebration.

The annual decorations reflected such holidays and observances as Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, the winter solstice and—of course—Hogmanay, the Scottish new year.

All the decorations and displays were warm, festive and tasteful—except one.

The Santa ride.

It was one of the older decorations and—through tradition, not taste—had survived through the last century. It consisted of a large red, silver, and wood-colored sleigh which held not only a large robotic Santa, but room for about ten children. And “pulling” the sleigh were nine reindeer who—for reasons lost to history—were painted the colors of the rainbow, and then some.

Dasher was solar yellow. Dancer was royal blue. Prancer was a bright green. Vixen, a sort of burnt orange, and so on.

Each reindeer could hold one child, and when the ride was activated, the sleigh gently rocked port and starboard, and each reindeer slowly lurched forward and back. It was rather like a merry-go-round—which didn’t.

Though it looked atrocious, children for generations loved it. And riding it had been a Scott family tradition as well. Scotty remembered sitting on Comet—his favorite—when he was barely walking. His mother and father would be at his side, steadying him, but he always felt so independent and free up there that he’d soon forget his parents were nearby.

He would look up at the clear Scotland sky and imagine he was up in space, piloting a shuttlecraft, not a poorly painted mechanical reindeer whose hydraulics moaned and groaned with every movement.

At this moment, though, the power to the ride had gone out—again. And with it, the scratchy recordings of old holiday tunes. The square didn’t seem quite the same without the music and the ride going.

The ride used an ancient method of electricity for power, and blow-outs were as traditional as riding the ride itself. Scotty had been examining an elf, who was no longer waving or nodding his head.

Arlyne Scott looked around the perimeter of the ride. “And where’s yer sister off to?”

Scotty looked around and spotted six-year-old Kristen Scott up on Santa’s sleigh, sitting next to the Old Man himself. She was shaking the reins, trying to will the frozen reindeer to take off into flight. “Up there, Mother. Next to Santa.”

Scotty loved his sister dearly. She had the trademark Scott hair—dark, thin and always a bit unkempt (but in an attractive way). Krissy was also the image of their father—slender, strong-jawed, with well-defined features. And if it was possible, she was even more curious than her brother.

He called out to her. “Krissy! C’mon, now. Mother wants t’head for home.”

The young girl kept shaking the reins. “Aw. Five more minutes, Ma? I know I can make this thing fly. Scotty, where’s the switch?”

Scotty.

Krissy was the only person in the world who called him that. It was the first word she ever said. Well, the first intelligible word she ever said. He hated it. For years. But as he grew, he came to realize it was a term of endearment—a name no one else called him. Reserved for his sister, and his sister alone.

Scotty smiled. Time for a little teasing. “Och! Ya don’t wanna be startin’ this thing up, Krissy. There’s parts of the reindeer scattered all over the fake snow! You activate the power and this whole thing might just blow!”

Krissy squealed in fear and started to jump out of the sleigh seat. Arlyne panicked. “Krissy!”

But Scotty got there in time and helped her down. He was always there for his sister. Arlyne quickly walked over to the two of them. “Are the two o’ya finished now? Yer little shenanigans all done?”

The two silently nodded in unison, a little frightened of the consequences. Arlyne stared down at them for a few more seconds and then couldn’t help but break into a smile and laughter. The three Scotts all laughed and hugged. “Let’s go, then. Yer father will be wonderin’ what happened to us. Monty, take some o’ these packages, please.”

As Scotty took a bag of the brightly wrapped gifts, he felt a strange twinge in his stomach. “Ooh.”

Arlyne didn’t notice, but Krissy did. “Scotty, what’s the matter?”

Now Arlyne noticed. “Monty, are you all right?”

Scotty put down the bag of gifts and managed a nod. “I think I ate a wee bit too much at supper. It’ll pass soon enough.”

“Are you sure about that, young man?”

The three Scotts looked over at the stranger with the kind face. He was smiling warmly. Not the least bit threatening. Not tall, not short. But with the kindest blue eyes Scotty had ever seen. And he spoke with traces of an accent that was American of some kind.

“Excuse me, ma’am. My name’s David. Doctor David—”

Scotty didn’t really hear the man’s name. He was distracted by odd things happening internally. But he certainly caught that he was a doctor. Arlyne shook hands with the friendly physician. “Arlyne Scott. My children, Montgomery and Kristen.”

David smiled again. It was a very reassuring smile and the children immediately took to him. “Let’s see if we can figure this out together. So, Montgomery, what did you have for dinner tonight?”

Scotty looked up to his mother, who nodded.

He thought for a bit. “Nothin’ new, really. Meat pie, vegetables, milk—”

David looked at Arlyne. “Well, that doesn’t seem to be anything unusual, at least in Scotland.”

“And Hammer Grunt Salad!” blurted Krissy. “You had a ton of Aunt Ingrid’s Hammer Grunt Salad!”

The doctor looked a little confused. “I’m afraid I’ve never heard of that. Is it a Scottish dish?”

Arlyne was laughing. “She means Hummer og Grontsagssalat. It’s a Danish salad with lobster and vegetables. My sister makes it every year for us.”

Scotty rubbed his stomach. “Och, every year. This is the first year I was brave enough to try it. At first, it dinna go down too well. But the more I ate, the more I kinda liked it.”

“Yecch,” Krissy countered.

“We may be on to something here.” The doctor turned to Arlyne.

“Is there anything unusual in the salad? Something Montgomery may never have eaten before.”

“Not really. Carrots, beans, peas, celery, and—oh, dear.”

The other three spoke in unison. “What.”

Arlyne stroked Scotty’s hair. “I’m sorry, son. There are radishes in that salad. I know what they do to yer father. Guess you got that from him, too.”

Krissy tugged on the doctor’s long coat. “Father never has the Hammer Grunt Salad.”

Arlyne looked at David. “Sometimes Scottish and Danish cuisine just don’t go together.”

Krissy continued to offer her professional diagnosis. “And then while Ma was shopping, Scotty rode the reindeer!” She ran back to the colorful but still motionless robotic display and stopped next to a large, somewhat aqua-colored reindeer. “This one’s Comet. And Scotty rode him. Five times!”

Arlyne was a bit surprised. “I told you once, Monty.”

David smiled. “Well, I think that probably solves our little mystery. Just an unfortunate combination of radishes and reindeer. Very good, Kristen. Monty, just take it easy the rest of the night and you’ll be fine by Christmas Eve. Mrs. Scott, just some good old-fashioned bicarbonate should do the trick.”

Arlyne smiled that smile and extended her hand. “Thank you, Doctor. Would you care to join my husband and me for some holiday spirits?”

Scotty moaned at the thought of eating or drinking anything else.

The doctor smiled back. “Oh, no thank you, Mrs. Scott. Gotta round up my son and head back to Georgia.”

Krissy walked right up to David. “Is that yer wife?”

The doctor chuckled. “No, Kristen, Georgia is where I live. Over in America. Now, where’d I put my son?”

At that moment, a thin, lanky boy came running through the reindeer, almost knocking Scotty over, despite the fact he was at least a head shorter.

“Oops! Sorry! Here I am, sir!”

The doctor gently herded his son closer so he wouldn’t damage anyone else. Scotty looked over at his sister, who was mesmerized by this clumsy kid.

“Son, this is the Scott family. Mrs. Scott…”

The boy nodded politely and offered his hand. “How do you do, ma’am?”

“And Kristen, who’s about the same age as you are.”

Again, the lad offered his hand, but Krissy was too transfixed to respond physically. She just kept smiling and sighed, “Hi.”

Scotty shot a look to heaven. He’d never seen his sister acting so stupidly. “What’s the matter with ya, girl? Ya look like my stomach feels!”

David chuckled. “And this is Monty.”

The lad smiled and nodded. Scotty noticed the boy had his father’s striking blue eyes. “Hiya, Monty. Nice to meet ya. I’m Leonard.”

The two boys shook hands, and despite the fact that this kid just about mowed him down a minute earlier, Scotty felt himself also liking this five-year-old stranger. “You, too.”

Leonard looked a little longer at Scotty. “Say, you don’t look too good. You know, my father is a—”

“Bum radish.”

From the look on Leonard’s face, Scotty could see he needed to repeat himself. “I had a bum radish or two fer dinner. Nothin’ serious.”

“Well, I’m sure glad about that.”

Krissy finally managed to speak. Well, blurt, actually. “And then he rode Comet. Five times!”

Leonard grinned at Scotty. The grin was something reminiscent of the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland. Mischievous, but probably harmless. “Gee, I’m amazed you can still stand after that.”

“Nice call, son.” David looked at Arlyne. “I’ve always said that Leonard would make an excellent doctor.”

Arlyne bent down and spoke to Leonard. “Are ya goin’ to be a doctor, like yer father?”

Leonard shook his head. “No ma’am. I’d like to be something else. Like a bricklayer or a mechanic or a psychiatrist—or maybe even a moon shuttle conductor.”

Arlyne laughed. “My goodness! You’re very ambitious, aren’t ya?”

“I’m afraid it changes from week to week.” David put his arm around his son’s shoulder. “Let’s get going, son. Your mom’s waiting back home. And if we’re late for Christmas, we’ll never hear the end of it.”

Leonard nodded. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Scott.”

“And you, too. Have a very merry Christmas, Leonard.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Scott. See you, Kristen.”

The girl just giggled and nodded. Scotty shook his head.

“And Monty, I hope you feel better.”

Leonard extended his hand again, and Scotty warmly shook it. “Uh, thanks. And a merry Christmas to ya both. And thank you, Doctor.”

David nodded and he and Leonard disappeared into the holiday crowd. Arlyne noticed her children watching them leave. “They seem like a very nice family.”

Scotty nodded and spoke aloud to himself. “Aye.”

“Well, let’s grab the bags and go. Krissy, help yer brother a bit, please.”

At that moment, the power to the sleigh ride returned. The holiday music resumed, strings of colored lights came back to life, Santa started moving and the reindeer started lumbering up and down as if they were pulling the sleigh through the air. Scotty looked at the sight.

“He’d go a fair amount faster if he’d use dilithium.”

Arlyne shook her head. “Let’s go, now.”

The Scotts began to head for home. Scotty continued.

“And think of the food he’d save if he dinna have to feed the reindeer. He could cover the whole solar system in half the time. Maybe put some warp nacelles on either side of the sleigh. Now that would definitely speed things up. Mother, I’m gettin’ a little hungry again. Ya think we have any more of Aunt Ingrid’s salad left? Now, as for the antigravity problem Santa might have in space…”

Scotty’s voice faded into the sound of the crowd and the music. But he kept talking.

All the way home.