Chapter 28

With a resistant creak, the green shower door swung open. Slamming into the back wall, I cringed and looked back at the main door with paranoia. As usual, a single white towel had been left for me, hanging behind the door.

Looking quickly to the showerhead, I was instantly confused.

There’s nothing there! What the…?

Almost breathing a sigh of relief that I may not have to kill anyone, I realized that the plan of escape may not happen…which meant I’d have to resort to plan B, which was slicing my leg open and pretending I was having a miscarriage, or worse…suicide.

That idea definitely didn’t appeal to me but it was quickly becoming evident that I had no other choice. Even if I pretending to miscarry, there’s no way I could run across the acres of fields without being caught.

Panicked, I checked all the other stalls to see if maybe I’d read the note wrong and I was going to find this item somewhere else. After quickly peeking into each stall and realizing that there was no hidden weapon, I literally wanted to fall onto the floor and cry.

“Keanu…where is it?” Speaking quietly to myself, I decided to go back to the fourth stall and re-examine it. Pushing the door open again, I entered the stall this time and walked directly underneath the showerhead. Squinting my eyes and peering at the pipe that protruded from the wall, I actually saw something.

Held in place with silver duct tape to the topside of the pipe was a long thin metallic…pen.

A pen! Keanu! What the hell am I going to do with a pen?! Stab the man in the jugular?!

Annoyed, I extended my arms and stood on my tippy toes to retrieve the pen. Fighting with the tape momentarily, I finally pulled it free.

Examining it with a frown on my face, it indeed appeared to be a normal pen. There was no way to unscrew it or take it apart, so it obviously didn’t harbor some miniature knife or secret compartment. Pressing down on the top of the pen with my thumb, I heard the telltale audible click as its tip moved in and out.

“What the hell?” I whispered out loud.

Holding the pen in one hand and the tape in another, I was bewildered and lost.

What was I going to do now?

I considered my options. Stab the guard in the jugular which was going to be ridiculously difficult and messy, or continue with my alternate plan. Looking at myself in the mirror hanging on the wall, I swallowed as I thought of the second option. I was going to have to cut myself pretty deep in order to bleed out enough to die.

Gruesome, but necessary.

Exhaling deeply as tears of frustration forced their way into my eyes, I realized I didn’t have any option but to end all of this.

Walking toward the mirror with trepidation shadowing every step, I examined the best way to smash the mirror. It needed to be quick and quiet. If I alerted the guard with a resounding crash, everything would be ruined.

Scanning the room for something to break the mirror with, I realized I was holding the answer.

The pen.

The metallic pen in my hand felt very strong and sturdy. It might be tough enough to hit the mirror with and just make a crack in the glass. From there, I could pick out a sharp piece and…I didn’t want to think about it yet.

Watching the reflection of myself as I held the pen like a knife, ready to pierce the mirror, I gave myself a final look.

Cassia Tiponi, the body which I’d worn for twenty years, was about to die. The baby inside me, the innocent victim in all this, had to perish because of my tainted blood. I couldn’t allow her to be subjected to the cruelty of these…humans. She has a right to a life, yes, but she has the right to a decent life. A decent life that I knew for a fact would never exist as long as she carried my genes.

A sensation of calm washed over me as I stared at my image for the last time. I realized in that moment that, despite all I’d learned of myself over the last few months, I was not just this body. I wasn’t defined by this suit, this flesh. No matter what deformity existed within me, I was still me, still the essence of a greater creature, a soul.

Aiming the pen at the mirror, I poised to strike it like a cobra would its prey. Focusing my attention onto the reflection of the tip of the pen, I readied myself to stab the mirror.

“One, two…” I muttered under my breath, my eyes like a hawk on the small, silver tip. The hollow barrel of the pen stared back at me, awaiting its fate like a tiny tin soldier.

Just as I was about to whisper ‘three’ and release my hand with all my strength, the baby fluttered lightly in womb. Losing my concentration for a moment, I realized exactly what I was looking at.