I Go on Board in an Evil Hour
BUT I that was born to be my own destroyer could
no more resist the offer than I could restrain my first rambling
designs, when my father’s good counsel was lost upon me. In a word,
I told them I would go with all my heart, if they would undertake
to look after my plantation in my absence and would dispose of it
to such as I should direct, if I miscarried. This they all engaged
to do, and entered into writings, or covenants, to do so; and I
made a formal will, disposing of my plantation and effects, in case
of my death, making the captain of the ship that had saved my life,
as before, my universal heir, but obliging him to dispose of my
effects as I had directed in my will, one half of the produce being
to himself and the other to be shipped to England.
In short, I took all possible caution to preserve
my effects and to keep up my plantation; had I used half as much
prudence to have looked into my own interest and have made a
judgment of what I ought to have done and not to have done, I had
certainly never gone away from so prosperous an undertaking,
leaving all the probable views of a thriving circumstance and gone
upon a voyage to sea, attended with all its common hazards; to say
nothing of the reasons I had to expect particular misfortunes to
myself.
But I was hurried on and obeyed blindly the
dictates of my fancy rather than my reason; and accordingly, the
ship being fitted out and the cargo furnished, and all things done
as by agreement by my partners in the voyage, I went on board in an
evil hour, the 1st of September, 1659, being the same day eight
years that I went from my father and mother at Hull, in order to
act the rebel to their authority and the fool to my own
interest.
Our ship was about 120 tons burden, carried six
guns and fourteen men, besides the master, his boy, and myself; we
had on board no large cargo of goods, except of such toys as were
fit for our trade with the Negroes, such as beads, bits of glass,
shells, and odd trifles, especially little looking-glasses, knives,
scissors, hatchets, and the like.
The same day I went on board we set sail, standing
away to the northward upon our own coast, with design to stretch
over for the African coast, when they came about ten or twelve
degrees of northern latitude, which it seems was the manner of
their course in those days. We had very good weather, only
excessive hot, all the way upon our own coast till we came the
height of Cape St. Augustino, from whence keeping farther off at
sea, we lost sight of land and steered as if we were bound for the
Isle Fernando de Noronha, holding our course northeast by north and
leaving those isles on the east. In this course we passed the line
in about twelve days’ time, and were by our last observation in
seven degrees twenty-two minutes northern latitude, when a violent
tornado, or hurricane, took us quite out of our knowledge; it began
from the southeast, came about to the northwest, and then settled
into the northeast, from whence it blew in such a terrible manner
that for twelve days together we could do nothing but drive and,
scudding away before it, let it carry us whither ever fate and the
fury of the winds directed; and during these twelve days, I need
not say that I expected every day to be swallowed up, nor indeed
did any in the ship expect to save their lives.
In this distress we had, besides the terror of the
storm, one of our men died of the calenture, and one man and the
boy washed overboard. About the twelfth day, the weather abating a
little, the master made an observation as well as he could, and
found that he was in about eleven degrees north latitude, but that
he was twenty-two degrees of longitude difference west from Cape
St. Augustino; so that he found he was gotten upon the coast of
Guiana, or the north part of Brazil, beyond the river Amazones,
toward that of the river Orinoco, commonly called the Great River,
and began to consult with me what course he should take, for the
ship was leaky and very much disabled and he was going directly
back to the coast of Brazil.
I was positively against that, and looking over the
charts of the seacoast of America with him, we concluded there was
no inhabited country for us to have recourse to till we came within
the circle of the Caribbee Islands and therefore resolved to stand
away for Barbados, which by keeping off at sea, to avoid the
indraught of the Bay or Gulf of Mexico, we might easily perform, as
we hoped, in about fifteen days’ sail; whereas we could not
possibly make our voyage to the coast of Africa without some
assistance both to our ship and to ourselves.
With this design we changed our course and steered
away northwest by west in order to reach some of our English
islands, where I hoped for relief; but our voyage was otherwise
determined, for being in the latitude of twelve degrees eighteen
minutes, a second storm came upon us, which carried us away with
the same impetuosity westward and drove us so out of the very way
of all human commerce, that had all our lives been saved as to the
sea, we were rather in danger of being devoured by savages than
ever returning to our own country.
In this distress, the wind still blowing very hard,
one of our men early in the morning cried out, ‘‘Land!’’; and we
had no sooner run out of the cabin to look out in hopes of seeing
whereabouts in the world we were but the ship struck upon a sand,
and in a moment, her motion being so stopped, the sea broke over
her in such a manner that we expected we should all have perished
immediately; and we were immediately driven into our close quarters
to shelter us from the very foam and spray of the sea.
It is not easy for anyone who has not been in the
like condition to describe or conceive the consternation of men in
such circumstances; we knew nothing where we were or upon what land
it was we were driven, whether an island or the main, whether
inhabited or not inhabited; and as the rage of the wind was still
great though rather less than at first, we could not so much as
hope to have the ship hold many minutes without breaking in pieces
unless the winds by a kind of miracle should turn immediately
about. In a word, we sat looking one upon another and expecting
death every moment, and every man acting accordingly, as preparing
for another world, for there was little or nothing more for us to
do in this; that which was our present comfort, and all the comfort
we had, was that, contrary to our expectation, the ship did not
break yet and that the master said the wind began to abate.
Now though we thought that the wind did a little
abate, yet the ship having thus struck upon the sand, and sticking
too fast for us to expect her getting off, we were in a dreadful
condition indeed, and had nothing to do but to think of saving our
lives as well as we could; we had a boat at our stern just before
the storm, but she was first staved by dashing against the ship’s
rudder, and in the next place she broke away and either sank or was
driven off to sea, so there was no hope from her; we had another
boat on board, but how to get her off into the sea was a doubtful
thing; however, there was no room to debate, for we fancied the
ship would break in pieces every minute, and some told us she was
actually broken already.
In this distress the mate of our vessel lays hold
of the boat, and with the help of the rest of the men, they got her
slung over the ship’s side and, getting all into her, let go and
committed ourselves, being eleven in number, to God’s mercy and the
wild sea; for though the storm was abated considerably, yet the sea
went dreadful high upon the shore, and might well be called den
wild zee, as the Dutch call the sea in a storm.
And now our case was very dismal indeed; for we all
saw plainly that the sea went so high that the boat could not live
and that we should be inevitably drowned. As to making sail, we had
none; nor, if we had, could we have done anything with it; so we
worked at the oar towards the land, though with heavy hearts, like
men going to execution; for we all knew that when the boat came
nearer the shore, she would be dashed in a thousand pieces by the
breach of the sea. However, we committed our souls to God in the
most earnest manner, and the wind driving us towards the shore, we
hastened our destruction with our own hands, pulling as well as we
could towards land.
What the shore was, whether rock or sand, whether
steep or shoal, we knew not; the only hope that could rationally
give us the least shadow of expectation was if we might happen into
some bay or gulf, or the mouth of some river, where by great chance
we might have run our boat in, or got under the lee of the land,
and perhaps made smooth water. But there was nothing of this
appeared; but as we made nearer and nearer the shore, the land
looked more frightful than the sea.
After we had rowed, or rather driven, about a
league and a half, as we reckoned it, a raging wave, mountainlike,
came rolling astern of us and plainly bade us expect the coup de
grâce. In a word, it took us with such a fury that it overset
the boat at once; and separating us as well from the boat as from
one another, gave us not time hardly to say, "O God!’’ for we were
all swallowed up in a moment.
Nothing can describe the confusion of thought which
I felt when I sunk into the water; for though I swam very well, yet
I could not deliver myself from the waves so as to draw breath,
till that wave having driven me, or rather carried me, a vast way
on towards the shore and, having spent itself, went back, and left
me upon the land almost dry, but half dead with the water I took
in. I had so much presence of mind as well as breath left, that
seeing myself nearer the mainland than I expected, I got upon my
feet, and endeavoured to make on towards the land as fast as I
could, before another wave should return and take me up again. But
I soon found it was impossible to avoid it; for I saw the sea come
after me as high as a great hill, and as furious as an enemy, which
I had no means or strength to contend with; my business was to hold
my breath and raise myself upon the water, if I could, and so by
swimming to preserve my breathing and pilot myself towards the
shore, if possible; my greatest concern now being that the sea, as
it would carry me a great way towards the shore when it came on,
might not carry me back again with it when it gave back towards the
sea.
The wave that came upon me again, buried me at once
twenty or thirty feet deep in its own body; and I could feel myself
carried with a mighty force and swiftness towards the shore a very
great way; but I held my breath and assisted myself to swim still
forward with all my might. I was ready to burst with holding my
breath, when, as I felt myself rising up, so, to my immediate
relief, I found my head and hands shoot out above the surface of
the water; and though it was not two seconds of time that I could
keep myself so, yet it relieved me greatly, gave me breath and new
courage. I was covered again with water a good while, but not so
long but I held it out; and finding the water had spent itself and
began to return, I struck forward against the return of the waves,
and felt ground again with my feet. I stood still a few moments to
recover breath, and till the water went from me, and then took to
my heels, and run with what strength I had farther towards the
shore. But neither would this deliver me from the fury of the sea,
which came pouring in after me again, and twice more I was lifted
up by the waves, and carried forwards as before, the shore being
very flat.
The last time of these two had well near been fatal
to me; for the sea, having hurried me along as before, landed me,
or rather dashed me, against a piece of a rock, and that with such
force as it left me senseless, and indeed helpless, as to my own
deliverance; for the blow, taking my side and breast, beat the
breath as it were quite out of my body; and had it returned again
immediately, I must have been strangled in the water; but I
recovered a little before the return of the waves, and seeing I
should be covered again with the water, I resolved to hold fast by
a piece of the rock, and so to hold my breath, if possible, till
the wave went back; now as the waves were not so high as at first,
being near land, I held my hold till the wave abated, and then
fetched another run, which brought me so near the shore that the
next wave, though it went over me, yet did not so swallow me up as
to carry me away, and the next run I took, I got to the mainland,
where, to my great comfort, I clambered up the cliffs to the shore
and sat me down upon the grass, free from danger, and quite out of
the reach of the water.
I was now landed and safe on shore, and began to
look up and thank God that my life was saved in a case wherein
there was some minutes before scarce any room to hope. I believe it
is impossible to express to the life what the ecstasies and
transports of the soul are when it is so saved, as I may say, out
of the very grave; and I do not wonder now at that custom, viz.,
that when a malefactor who has the halter about his neck is tied up
and just going to be turned off, and has a reprieve brought to him:
I say, I do not wonder that they bring a surgeon with it, to let
him blood that very moment they tell him of it, that the surprise
may not drive the animal spirits from the heart, and overwhelm him:
For sudden joys, like griefs, confound at
first.
I walked about on the shore, lifting up my hands,
and my whole being, as I may say, wrapped up in the contemplation
of my deliverance, making a thousand gestures and motions which I
cannot describe, reflecting upon all my comrades that were drowned
and that there should not be one soul saved but myself; for, as for
them, I never saw them afterwards, or any sign of them, except
three of their hats, one cap, and two shoes that were not
fellows.
I cast my eyes to the stranded vessel, when, the
breach and froth of the sea being so big, I could hardly see it, it
lay so far off, and considered, Lord! how was it possible I could
get on shore!
After I had solaced my mind with the comfortable
part of my condition, I began to look round me to see what kind of
place I was in, and what was next to be done, and I soon found my
comforts abate, and that, in a word, I had a dreadful deliverance.
For I was wet, had no clothes to shift me, nor anything either to
eat or drink to comfort me, neither did I see any prospect before
me but that of perishing with hunger or being devoured by wild
beasts; and that which was particular afflicting to me was that I
had no weapon either to hunt and kill any creature for my
sustenance or to defend myself against any other creature that
might desire to kill me for theirs. In a word, I had nothing about
me but a knife, a tobacco-pipe, and a little tobacco in a box; this
was all my provision, and this threw me into terrible agonies of
mind, that for a while I ran about like a madman. Night coming upon
me, I began with a heavy heart to consider what would be my lot if
there were any ravenous beasts in that country, seeing at night
they always come abroad for their prey.
All the remedy that offered to my thoughts at that
time was to get up into a thick bushy tree like a fir, but thorny,
which grew near me, and where I resolved to sit all night, and
consider the next day what death I should die, for as yet I saw no
prospect of life; I walked about a furlong from the shore, to see
if I could find any fresh water to drink, which I did, to my great
joy; and having drunk, and put a little tobacco in my mouth to
prevent hunger, I went to the tree, and getting up into it,
endeavoured to place myself so as that if I should sleep I might
not fall; and having cut me a short stick, like a truncheon, for my
defence, I took up my lodging, and having been excessively
fatigued, I fell fast asleep, and slept as comfortably as, I
believe, few could have done in my condition, and found myself the
most refreshed with it that I think I ever was on such an
occasion.