Thank you for visiting the Vermiculite Association website.
[No, thank you. Pictured is a rock with a glassy face that looks suspiciously like magnetite or obsidian after a dandruff shampoo and molecular combover. Thoroughly unconvincing.]
Vermiculite is the mineralogical name given to hydrated laminar magnesium-aluminum-iron silicate.
When subjected to heat, vermiculite has the unusual property of exfoliating, or expanding into wormlike pieces. It is used to make fire protection materials, insulation, ovens, brake pads, acoustic finishes, sound-deadening compounds, seedling wedge mixes, fertilizer, and animal feed.
[Expanding animal feed. Hmmm. Maybe that’s how Mrs O’Leary’s cow got so fat and klutzy.]
Vermiculite is one of the safest, most unique minerals in the world.
[A vermiculite mine in Libby, Montana was closed in 1990, after it was discovered to be contaminated with asbestos. While in operation, it supplied most of the vermiculite used in the construction of thirty-five million homes across America, in the form of the supposedly fireproof Zonolite Masonry Insulation. Cough, cough. Cancer’s in the attic. And in those cookies you baked.]
It is lightweight and non-combustible.
[Big lie. Vermiculite can most certainly burn. It can only withstand temperatures of up to 1,100°C—far cooler than a natural gas flame (1,250°C), a blowtorch flame (1,300°C), or an oxyhydrogen inferno (2,000°C). You want your house to incinerate? Build it with “fireproof” material. Drizzle vermiculite around your bedposts and say a hex. I invite skeptical scientists out there to spend an educational afternoon with me.]
Our objective is to promote wider use and increased consumption of vermiculite-based products.
[Wish us all luck.]