Chapter 23

Meesha

After my brother’s funeral, I was a wreck. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, and I couldn’t even stand to be around most people. Even though school was a constant struggle, I still managed to get my work done, but walking the halls like I used to was over; I didn’t have shit to say to anybody, and they all knew about Anthony’s murder - so they gave me my space. They also knew I was Boss’s bitch, so they gave me respect as well.

“What the fuck?!” I yelled and stomped my foot in frustration when I saw what had been done to my Cayenne. “Like I need this bullshit right now.”

I’d just come from my sixth period Calculus class to find my driver side window smashed to bits. All of my belongings were gone, including my custom Alpine stereo system. I was mad, but Boss was going to be pissed. I took a minute to process everything before I made the call I knew I had to make.

“What’s up baby?” Boss answered his cell on the first ring, knowing it was wifey on the other end. “You outta school already?”

“Boss, somebody broke into my car.”

“I’m on my way.” He didn’t fuck around. “Stay right there.”

When Boss and Pee-Wee pulled up in the Escalade, you would have thought he was Jay-Z or somebody. Kids crowded around and watched him like he was a celebrity – and to them he kind of was. It was legendary the way he built his empire, coming from the same run-down projects that most of them also came from. He was a star; he was their star.

“You okay, Meesh ?” Boss looked me over from head to toe, then wrapped his big arms around me like he never wanted to let me go.

“I’m fine, baby. It’s just my car.”

“Pee-Wee!” Boss yelled over to his cousin and partner in crime. “Call Taj.”

Taj was a mechanic who handled all of Boss and Pee-Wee’s vehicles. He was very reliable. He was also low key. Taj knew how to keep his mouth shut, and Boss appreciated that. There was nothing more important in his business than discretion. That was the first thing he taught me – and it was also the most important. Keeping your mouth closed could mean the difference between life and death.

“I saw the whole thing, Boss.” A shaky voice spoke up from the crowd. “I saw them cats, cuzz.”

Larry was Boss’ li’l cousin who he hadn’t seen in years. He was also Marco’s little brother. I knew him from school; he was a smart kid and very mature for his age. After what happened to his older brother, his mother kept him on a very short leash. He never got to kick it with the rest of us, and that was probably for his own good. I wasn’t much of a partier, but some of my friends were. Larry wasn’t cut out for that scene. His mother knew best.

“Did you know ‘em?” Boss put his arms around his cousin, then they turned their backs on the crowd for a little privacy. I didn’t even want to hear what was being said; I knew how Boss got when he was angry. It was just a car, though...I didn’t think it was that serious.

After burying my fourteen-year-old little brother, the small things didn’t faze me anymore. I was focused on graduating from high school and getting into college. When I found out I was pregnant, I thought about quitting school, but Boss wasn’t having it. He made me give him my word that I would at least get my diploma. I did, and every day since I made him that promise I worked to keep it. It was hard balancing my home life with school, but I didn’t do it all on my own; I had Boss in one corner, and I had my mother in the other. She was so strong. Even after losing Anthony so suddenly, she was always there for me. That was the kind of mother I wanted to be...that was the kind of mother I was going to be.

Boss and Pee-Wee dropped me off at home, then headed off on their mission. My first stop was the kitchen. I hadn’t eaten anything all day, and I was craving something sweet, but the baby wanted something salty. Two slices of Sara Lee strawberry cheesecake with a handful of Lay’s plain potato chips sprinkled on top hit the spot. Any other time, something like that would have turned my stomach. Being pregnant was a trip: I cried for no reason, and I laughed out loud at shit that wasn’t even funny. I felt like I was going crazy, but I wasn’t; I was having a baby.

After I finished my snack, I sat down at the dining table and spent an hour on my Physics homework. Makin’ the Honor Roll was hard work, and staying on it was ever harder. I was studying all the time, and the only two things that helped me relax were my man and our overhead rain shower. Once I finished my homework, I was ready to unwind - and since Boss still wasn’t home yet, I headed straight for the shower.