Chapter 38
My new four-legged friend and I made our way back
up to the top of the hill, where Maggie stood at the end of the
path, shooing away hovering EMS technicians as she explained to
Gonzales what had happened in the cave.
The little dog earned my everlasting love by
lifting a leg and relieving himself not three inches from
Gonzales’s loafers. The commander was too engrossed with Maggie’s
story to notice but I gave the terrier a big thumbs-up.
“I guess he’d been following me, sir,” Maggie was
saying. “He’d been MIA for a couple of days and I thought he was on
a bender, but then he came through that door, gun drawn, and I
don’t remember anything else. When I came to, Hayes was dead and
Bonaventura was gone. He had to have shot him. It wasn’t me and no
one else was there.”
Gonzales heard the doubt in her voice. “You
sure?”
She shrugged. “All I saw was Hayes, Bonaventura,
and the old man. Or at least, the old man’s body.”
“He’s going to be okay,” Gonzales told her. “The
old man is going to be okay.”
“That’s a miracle in itself,” Maggie said.
“Lots of miracles tonight,” Gonzales agreed. It was
an uncharacteristic thing for him to say. Maggie noticed.
“What’s that mean, sir?”
“Nothing, Gunn.” Gonzales hesitated. “Look, I’m
just going to tell you straight up—Bonaventura is dead.”
Maggie was stunned. “What?”
“It looks like he threw himself off the bluff after
shooting Hayes.”
She stared at Gonzales. “Sir, that makes no
sense.”
“Not to you, it doesn’t,” Gonzales said gently.
“But to Danny, it did.”
“And you know why,” Maggie guessed.
Gonzales patted her on the back and waved the
waiting EMS techs over despite Maggie’s protests that she was fine.
“Let it be,” he said to her. “Bonaventura died in the line of duty.
That’s all the public needs to know.”
“I don’t get it,” Maggie said.
“You stopped a killer today, Gunn,” Gonzales
explained. “They’ve found the remains of at least four more victims
in the quarry. You made the department look good again. Bobby
Daniels sees you as his new best friend. And who knows how many
cases you’ve closed for other departments? You’ve done an
outstanding job. Take the rewards and let the rest go. That’s my
advice.”
“What rewards?” Maggie asked suspiciously. My heart
swelled with pride: my girl was not big on payoffs.
“You tell me,” Gonzales offered. “What do you want?
A promotion? New assignment? Want to head up a special
squad?”
Maggie said nothing.
“Think about it,” Gonzales suggested smoothly. “Get
back to me on it.”
The little terrier had been ignored long enough. He
sat on Maggie’s foot and barked twice. The two cops stared down at
him.
“It’s the old man’s dog,” Maggie said. “It led me
to the cave.”
“Is that right?” Gonzales said in an unctuous voice
as visions of press-friendly canine award ceremonies danced in his
head. “I think someone deserves a medal.” He tried to pet the
little terrier, but the dog growled and Gonzales snatched his hand
away.
Maggie laughed. “I’ll take him, sir. I’ll make sure
the old man gets his dog back. Something tells me this little
fellow has been through enough. Let’s spare him animal control.”
When she bent down, instead of growling, the little dog leapt into
her arms, and Maggie took off down the hill, pursued by irritated
medical personnel still trying to get a look at her.
Gonzales watched her go, clearly irked that she had
one-upped him, even if it was with a lowly dog. The little dog’s
tail wagged wildly back and forth as Maggie carried him down the
path: the terrier was enjoying the royal treatment.
She met Morty halfway down the hill. The old beat
cop was running up the incline, his face flushed deep red. “Maggie!
Your father’s going to kill me. What have you done now?”
“It’s okay,” Maggie told him. “I’m fine. Hayes is
dead.”
“Good. Come on,” Morty said firmly. “I told your
father I’d bring you by in person so he could see for himself that
you’re okay. He’s gotten calls from so many people giving him
conflicting information that he’s not going to calm down until he
sees you in person.”
“That’s cool.” Maggie lifted the little dog aloft.
“I’ve got a little fellow for him to babysit for a few days. But
you’re going to have to bring him to Dad for me. I need to stop off
somewhere else first.”
Morty stared at the dog. They sized each other up.
“He looks like trouble,” Morty said, but his voice was friendly and
the terrier wagged his tail in reply.
“He is trouble.” Maggie laughed. “But you and I
both know that Dad loves troublemakers.”
“That he does,” Morty agreed.
Morty drove off with the dog, who was happy to
throw his lot in with his new friend. I threw my lot in with
Maggie. I was pretty sure I knew where she was headed and within
minutes my guess was confirmed—the facade of the hospital loomed
skyward before us, as stark and forbidding as a monolith built to
appease the gods. Most windows were dark, but the lights above the
emergency room were shining bright in the night like a
beacon.
They would not let her see the old man yet. They
were still working on him in a treatment room. But Maggie had other
people to visit as well. I followed her up three floors and down a
deserted hallway. Sorrow filtered out of each room, clinging to me
like wisps of cotton candy. The people here were sick, and more
than a few were weighing whether it was worth staying alive when
staying alive meant so much pain. But the sorrow did not come from
them, it came from those who loved them and had visited earlier,
leaving their fear behind.
Two night nurses were bent over their charts at a
well-lit station. When they saw Maggie, one barely looked up, but
the other clearly knew her well. “Hey, Maggie. How have you
been?”
Maggie stopped to talk. “Same as always, Lexi.
Working hard. Catching bad guys. Bad girls, too, these days.”
The nurse smiled at her. “Your mother would be
proud of you.”
“Thank you,” Maggie said, a catch in her voice. And
then it was there: a flash of memory so brief I barely had time to
catch on to it and understand what I had seen: a frail woman lying
alone in a hospital bed, surrounded by darkness lit only by the
electronic screens of the machines keeping her alive. Her face was
emaciated and pulled tight against the bone, the skin as dry as
parchment, the mouth hanging open as she waited for breath. Maggie
stood by her, holding her hand, staring down at the body struggling
to hold on to life in the bed before her. “It’s okay, Mom,” Maggie
was whispering. “You can let go.”
In an instant, the memory was gone. Maggie would
not allow it to linger any longer.
“What are you doing here tonight? I didn’t see you
when I came on duty.” The nurse was staring at Maggie, waiting for
an answer.
Maggie shook off her memory and managed a smile. “A
friend was brought in earlier tonight. I’m here to see her. I know
it isn’t visiting hours.”
The nurse looked down at her papers, amused. “It’s
okay, Maggie. I wouldn’t let a little thing like visiting hours
stop you now.”
Maggie was still smiling when she entered Peggy’s
room. She was asleep, her body sprouting endless cables and tubes
that connected her to a cluster of machines humming by her bedside.
She did not wake when Maggie took her hand, but her vitals were
strong and I could feel her fighting the injuries that threatened
her body. Peggy would be fine. Peggy would live to once again
explore the miniature landscapes of the lab she loved so
much.
Maggie was at home in a hospital room. She pulled
up a chair and sat for a few moments, doing nothing more than
holding her friend’s hand, letting the darkness surround them,
absorbing the calm and the quiet. Maggie pulled the safety of the
room around her like a cloak, gaining strength from her
surroundings.
I sat at the foot of Peggy’s bed, watching Maggie,
wondering how she had managed to train herself to shut off her
memories whenever they got in the way of the present. It would keep
her a mystery to me.
After fifteen minutes, Maggie left her friend and,
waving a quick good-bye to the nurses, returned to the first floor,
where the fear and the jangled remnants of violence hung in the
air, choking away the peace I had gained watching Maggie with
Peggy. The emergency waiting room was dotted with people in various
stages of drunkenness or shock. Maggie ignored them all as she made
her way toward a group of people clustered together, looking
frightened at the far end near the vending machines.
It was the old man’s family. They were sitting in
two long rows, facing one another, finding the strength in each
other to face what might be coming. They ranged in age from the
frailest of old ladies down to a sleeping boy who could not have
been more than a few years old. His face was slack with the
blissful unconsciousness of childhood sleep and drool trickled out
of his mouth onto his mother’s shoulder. He slept, secure in the
knowledge that he was completely and utterly safe. There would be
time enough for him to discover the truth about life. For now, I
envied him his innocence.
I stared at the others, separating out the
generations who had followed the kind old man: sons, daughters,
their spouses, their children, their children’s children.
And then I saw her.
She was sitting next to a trim man who was deeply
tanned, holding his hand. Her long legs were stretched out in front
of her and her brown hair fell in silky curtains over her face. Her
boyfriend sat awkwardly next to her, wanting to be a man and lend
her comfort, but unsure of what to do.
It was the young girl Alan Hayes had stalked, the
young girl from the school bus who had befriended Sarah Hayes and
escaped death at the hand of Sarah’s father by seconds.
Maggie saw her at the same time I did, but her eyes
slid away: she was going to let the girl recognize her first.
I don’t think the girl had told her father about
what had happened when he had left her alone. She gave Maggie a
quick smile, out of nervousness more than friendliness, and her
eyes glanced quickly at the tall man sitting beside her. Maggie
smiled and passed her by. She would not interfere.
She bent over the frail old lady, who was sitting
huddled in a plastic hospital chair, a shawl arranged over her lap
for warmth. As Maggie introduced herself to the old man’s wife and
explained who she was, I stared at the beautiful young girl holding
her father’s hand, waiting to hear news of her grandfather’s
condition—and I thought back to what I had stumbled on earlier that
day: that life was shaped by a series of the most minor of
coincidences, the tiniest of actions, the barest touching of one
life by another, the seemingly inconsequential decisions of others.
This beautiful young girl, her heart pure, her mind still
unblemished by what life would bring her, would live out her days
because her grandfather had had the courage to stay by that cave.
Her grandfather had surely saved her life. And yet she would never
know.
I wondered then if there really was such a thing as
coincidence. But I was not yet convinced about the
alternative.
Maggie did not want to intrude. She stayed long
enough to hear a progress report from the attending physician—the
old man would live, but recovery would be slow. If he was strong,
he would make it.
I looked at the family clustered around the doctor,
listening to his every word with anxious faces, and I knew the old
man would make it back. Look what he had to live for. And look at
the strength they were willing to give him. He had, indeed, lived
his life well and he would continue to live it well, dying one day
in his sleep, slipping away without sorrow, as a good man
should.
They did not notice when Maggie left. I sat beside
her quietly in her car, feeling the need in her to find her own
family, to draw comfort from others who loved her. We made our way
to the little house with the still-unkempt lawn where Maggie’s
father lived and prayed for her safety every day.
They were waiting for her on the front porch, a
trio awake in the dead of the night, a trio holding vigil for the
one they all loved: Maggie’s father, Morty the beat cop, and the
little terrier. The dog had made friends with Maggie’s father and
was perched happily on the old man’s lap.
“You didn’t have to wait up,” Maggie said as she
joined them on the porch and scratched behind the little dog’s
ears.
“Oh, yes, we did,” her father said firmly. “Here.”
He held out a bottle and Maggie took it. She surprised me: she
unscrewed the top, looked up at the stars, then threw back her head
and took a gulp.
It made her gasp and the two men laughed.
“Here’s to surviving another day,” Maggie said as
she handed the bottle back to her father.
“I’ll drink to that,” he agreed. He took a swig,
then screwed the top of the bottle back on. It was another of their
rituals, I realized, a toast to their survival. The bottle was
still three-quarters full. I hoped it would be big enough to last
them through every close brush with death.
Maggie sighed, not quite believing that it was all
over at last. She pulled a rocking chair over so that she and Morty
could sit, flanking her father’s wheelchair, rocking together,
their back-and-forth motions synchronized with easy
familiarity.
I sat on the bottom step leading up to the porch
and pretended I was one of them. They felt so bound to one another.
I just wanted to be a part of that for a little while.
Morty did not hold back. “If Bonaventura threw
himself off a cliff, it had to be for a damn good reason.”
“Fahey,” Maggie’s father said. “That’s the reason:
Kevin Fahey.”
“Exactly,” Morty agreed. “He had something to do
with Fahey’s death. When our Maggie started pawing through the case
files, he started getting spooked. That’s my guess.”
“I always thought there was something more to
Fahey’s death,” Maggie’s father said. “When three people walk into
a house and only one comes out alive, he’s usually the one who did
the shooting. Danny’s story never quite hung together.”
“He was dirty,” Morty said.
Maggie’s father nodded. “He was dirty.”
“Bonaventura or Fahey or both?” Maggie asked.
“Because I don’t get that vibe from what I’m hearing about Fahey.
He was troubled, but I’m not convinced he was dirty.”
“Bonaventura wasn’t in it alone,” Morty said. “They
never are. If he was dirty, there were others. Count on it.”
“It’s not fair to tag Fahey just because of his
partner,” Maggie protested.
“You sound like you need to know,” her father
suggested gently.
“I do,” Maggie said. She sounded surprised at her
own words. “I can’t explain it. I feel like, somehow, I don’t know
. . .” Her voice trailed off.
“Just say it,” Morty suggested. “You’re speaking to
one old man who talks to his dead wife and another who chats with
his dead mother each morning.”
Maggie’s father looked at his friend. “I knew not
even death could stop your mother from nagging you, Morty.” The old
friends laughed together.
“I just feel like I had some help with this case,”
Maggie said. “I can’t explain it any better than that.”
Morty nodded. “I won’t argue with that. It’s
happened to me.”
“I’m going to ask Gonzales for that as my reward,”
Maggie said suddenly.
Her father started to laugh.
“What’s so funny about that?” she demanded.
“It’s probably the one thing Gonzales doesn’t want
to give you.”
“I don’t care. He said I could have anything I
wanted. And I want to look into Fahey’s death.”
Maggie’s father was shaking his head. “Ah, Maggie.
You were the most stubborn little girl I ever saw. If I had known
then that your stubbornness would one day give a man like Gonzales
grief? By god, I’d have encouraged it a hell of a lot more.”
They all laughed together and the sound gathered,
then swelled, rising up into the night like a cloud of goodwill
sent off into the darkness. Oh, how I had squandered the
opportunity to laugh while I was alive.
Maggie rose and stretched, then rubbed the small of
her back.
“You’re not going to do it now?” her father asked,
incredulous.
“I have a lot of paperwork to file on this,” Maggie
said defensively. “Might as well get it done.”
“You’re not going into the office to do paperwork.”
Her father shook his head, half proudly, half in exasperation.
“You’re going to look at Fahey’s file.”
“I am,” Maggie said cheerfully. “I want to know
what happened. I want to know why Danny threw himself off a cliff.
I want to know why Fahey had to die.”
“You act like you knew the guy,” Morty said. “Like
you owe him something.”
“I do owe him something,” Maggie explained. “I owe
him the truth. From one cop to another. I owe him the truth.”
“You’re a piece of work, Maggie May,” her father
said gently. “You, my daughter, are a piece of work.”
And so she was. As we walked to her car together, I
knew she could not see me. Indeed, she did not even suspect I was
there. But that was okay. We were still a team. She did not walk
alone.
I thought back to earlier that night, after Alan
Hayes and Danny had died. As I followed Maggie to her car, I had
passed by the field where I had first seen the body of Vicky Meeks.
It had been beautiful in the moonlight, every stalk of grass and
swaying weed illuminated in the glow, rendered stark by light and
shadows. It felt peaceful. Nature reigned there once more, the
violence of man eradicated by the passing of day, followed by
night, followed by more days and nights. I had found that
comforting.
I had also seen a young woman standing on the
opposite edge of the patch of flattened weeds where Vicky Meeks had
lain. Her face was hidden in shadow. I’d wondered if she was human
or more like me, but I did not have to wonder long. The moon was
bright in the sky and I turned my face up to it, my attention
caught by what had seemed like a single flash of silver moonbeam.
When I turned my attention back to the clearing, the girl was
gone.
“How long would I be left behind?” I had wondered.
How many years would I be doomed to watch others move on while I
wandered this plane alone?
Now I thought I knew. I thought of the stack of
haphazardly solved cases filling my old file drawers, and of the
many more that remained unsolved.
My redemption lay in those files, I thought. I had
set things right for Alissa Hayes and I had helped Vicky Meeks. But
my penance had just begun.
I could have felt overwhelmed. I could have felt
disappointed. But the truth was—I felt elated. I had a purpose. For
the first time in my life, and the first time in my death, I had a
purpose. Kevin Fahey, the dead detective. The righter of wrongs,
most especially my own. Defender of those who have gone before me
into the darkness.
And protector of Maggie Gunn. Her very own, most
imperfect but most dedicated guardian angel.
I could do it. I could do that job well. And I
would do it, too. I would always be there for her, for as long as I
could. Because some people believe in angels. Some people believe
in god. Others believe in evil and the power of prayer. But
me?
I believe in Maggie. And that’s all I need to
know.