Chapter Six

‘HERE.’ James put down his pager and keys and placed a large take-out coffee in front of Lorna and started to peel a straw from its wrapper, but she stopped him.

‘I’m doing better.’ She smiled, taking a sip of decent coffee and relishing it for a moment before continuing. ‘And I am not drinking coffee through a straw.’

She was doing better. Since her parents had gone and James had explained things, the mist seemed to be clearing a touch. Lorna had chatted with the nurses, even walked the length of the ward a couple of times, shuffling along as the nurse had pushed her drip, but it felt good to be up and about, and it felt even better to see James again.

‘May said you were on duty when I came in.’ Her eyes met his, knew, despite all that had happened between them, how appalling that must have been. ‘I’m so sorry for that.’

‘It’s hardly your fault. Still, it never entered my head it might be you when the ambulance doors opened—I never thought I’d see you here. So how come you were looking for a job in London?’

‘I had four interviews lined up.’ As she told him, she was remembering things herself.

‘So you’re moving back here?’

‘If I get one of the jobs…’

‘I thought you hated London, you said you weren’t happy—’ He stopped himself then. Now was surely not the time to examine their past.

‘It wasn’t the place,’ Lorna said quietly, which could only mean that it had been their relationship that she’d hated, or him. ‘I’ve been working as a GP, and I’ve also been doing some cover at one of the cottage hospitals. I just wanted a change—I really liked working in a big city hospital.’

‘They have them in Scotland,’ James pointed out.

‘I just…’ She shook her head, just wouldn’t go there with him. ‘I just wanted a change. I handed in my notice last month, and I thought I’d have no trouble getting a job, but the interviews didn’t go too well. I think they look at the patient numbers I’m used to dealing with and think I’m not equipped to cope. They don’t seem to want to understand that often I’m the only doctor around for miles—they don’t seem to comprehend the scope of things I have to deal with.’

‘You should have called me.’ James gave a half-smile. ‘I could have put in a word.’

‘I almost wish I had.’ There was a small rueful smile on her lips. ‘So now I’m jobless, homeless, and my car’s a write-off.’

‘Homeless?’ James frowned.

‘I put my flat on the market ages ago. It sold really suddenly, but they wanted a quick settlement, so it was either lose the sale or get out. I’m staying at a friend’s. She’s on holiday at the moment so I’m house-sitting. It was only supposed to be for a couple of weeks, that’s why I had so many interviews lined up.’

‘Well, you’re a guest of North London Regional Hospital for the next week or so.’ James smiled. ‘Who knows? They might give you a job offer.’

She fiddled with his keyring for something to do, saw, then felt the weight of a big silver ‘L’ that hung from it.

‘Not you.’ James smiled, noticing her noticing the key ring. ‘I’m not that much of a sad case.’

‘I know.’ She put down his keys, flushed just a touch at the edge in his voice and knew he was telling the truth. ‘James, I hate to ask a favour. I did ask my mum but she came back from the shop with the wrong one. Do you think—if you get a chance, I mean—you could buy me a phone charger?’

‘Sure.’ He rummaged in her drawer and found her phone then wrote down the model number. ‘It won’t be till tomorrow, though, I’ve got a list of things to do today and then I’ve got a wedding reception to go to tonight.’

‘That will be nice.’ She stopped as he pulled a face. ‘You’re not looking forward to it, then.’

‘It’s Ellie’s cousin. He’s a real pain, neither of us want to go.’

‘Ellie?’

‘My girlfriend.’ James said, walking over to the window and staring out at the hospital generator, billowing smoke into the cold grey sky as Lorna leant back on the pillows. The L on his keyring made sense now. Of course, it should be an E, but James had always done that sort of thing differently. L-E—she spelt it out to herself as she lay there. She was relieved when James made a move to go. ‘I’d better get going. I’m supposed to be getting a haircut at twelve.’

‘Of course.’ She gave a bright smile. ‘Thanks for coming to see me, and for explaining things yesterday—I feel so much better.’

‘Good.’

‘I’ll see you tomorrow then.’ He gave a brief frown. He shouldn’t have said he’d come and visit her tomorrow. That wasn’t a habit he should be forming.

‘Of course.’ He gave her a smile and there was an awkward moment, when again he chose not to give her a kiss on the cheek. The ease with which he’d pulled her into his arms yesterday was starting to worry him. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

As he walked back down to the department James’s phone buzzed and he stared at the screen, but chose not to answer.

Ellie.

He’d deliberately said her name to Lorna. At the first opportunity he had let Lorna know about Ellie. Because he’d had to, because he’d needed to, because it was right to.

Only he wasn’t doing it just to be loyal to his girlfriend.

It was called self-preservation.