Chapter 42

The monstrosity of a castle hung on the side of a cliff. It was like if a boulder and a gorilla got together and had a squat, fat baby building. Even though the afternoon sun was high in the sky, the entire place was shrouded in an unnatural gloom that made my skin crawl - as they say, the better to eat you with, my dear.

We had left our horses hitched up the road while we wandered to the overlook for this little reconnaissance/stalling mission. Normal vampires would have just transformed into bats and then flown to the castle, but our disguises weren’t that good. I hoped they would accept that we were out-of-towners in for a visit.

“Killian, this was a really dumb idea and I’m thinking I would like to reconsider the plan.”

He patted me firmly on the shoulder, “I am sure this is not the first time this castle has been stormed.”

“Do you think anyone ever won?”

“They were all probably eaten alive at the following new moon banquet.”

“Peachy,” I replied.

Killian gave me a smile, “The advantage we have is that we are not storming the castle.”

“Man, I hope they don’t figure out that we’re here…” I said, staring up at the dark parapets as shadowy figures paced between the towers.

“Our disguises should protect us.”

Killian’s outfit sure had me fooled. If I hadn’t known it was him, I would have been looking for something stake-like right about now. His wavy blonde hair had been replaced by a shiny black mane that would put a Geisha to shame. His teeth were ever so pointy and his eyeballs had that eerie red glint to them that made my stomach clench in a whole “kill or be killed” sort of way.

“Want to know a secret?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“You’re totally creeping me out.”

He smiled at me, “The feeling is mutual.”

I was now a blondie with an alabaster undead pallor. My jeans and t-shirt had been replaced by a Victorian style riding frock in stylish black lace and swaths of material, perfect for protecting sensitive skin from the sun, from neck to toe. A dandy little top hat was perched upon my pile of Gibson curls. I flicked the black veil back over my face with a black-gloved hand and climbed the path back over to the main road to continue our ride to the castle.

Horses don’t particularly enjoy hanging out amongst the damned, but these were two work nags. They had obviously seen worse and I’m sure would use the story of “that time we carried two crazy people into the heart of the vampires’ lair” to entertain the other barnyard animals for years.

Killian looked over at me and I mustered up a little “here goes nuthin” spirit. I can’t say that I was particularly saddened that our horses were dragging their feet.

But unfortunately, we eventually did arrive at the castle. Our mounts’ hooves clomped hollowly across the drawbridge and into the covered courtyard of the keep.

The place was deserted one minute and then, in a rustle of wings, we were surrounded by a pretty serious crowd of vampire guards the next.

I looked over at our menacing welcome party with what I hoped was a haughty expression.

“State your business,” hissed a weaselly little vampire with bad skin. His head was totally level with my foot and I fantasized bashing in those man-eating teeth with the toe of my dainty little shoe.

“How dare you even ask,” Killian replied as he vaulted off of his horse and came over to offer me his hand.

“You are trespassing…”

“We bear important news for the master,” I snapped back at him.

The group hissed at me as they writhed in a seething attack formation.

“Don’t make me bite you, young one,” I said as I removed my gloves finger by finger. “You will attend to our horses. You will give us room to rest. And then you will bring us to your master.”

“And why should I do that?” he replied.

I leaned in close so that he could see I meant business. I could even feel my fangs lengthen and, judging from the way his eyes widened, I guess it was kinda scary effective.

“Because I can walk in daylight,” I replied.

Well, that just set the group of little bloodsucking bastards off into a tizzy. Killian handed one of them the reins to our mounts.

“Don’t eat them,” I called out. “We want them for later.”

The vampires hissed with laughter. Oh, funny funny with the eating horses humor. Dumb vampires.

We followed the weaselly one into the castle. He led us up some stone staircases and down hallways. We passed truly gruesome artwork that some sicko decided was worthy of being preserved forever in oil and canvas and framed in gold gilt. I was almost thankful when the weaselly one piped up to express what was weighing heavily upon his twisted little heart.

“Our master will be most anxious to meet with you,” he said. “He is not here, but we will send out a messenger as soon as night falls. You should rest. You could give me the object that allows you to walk in daylight, and I could keep it in a safe place.”

I gave him a smile, “You are so helpful. Do you want the object?”

He leaned forward as Killian rolled his eyes, knowing where I was going.

“This is what lets me walk in sunlight.” I pulled out my stake, “It is called ‘mortality’.”

And with that, I nailed him clean through the heart.

As the vampire fell, Killian shook his head, “Did you have to blow our cover quite so soon?”

“It was only going to get more difficult to get rid of him from here on in,” I replied. “Grab an end.”

Killian dutifully walked over to the other side and helped me shove the corpse behind a tapestry. I hoped the cleaning crew wouldn’t be in until morning and all of the other vampire guests were too snooty to bother themselves with the world’s largest undead dust bunny.

I wiped my hands off on my velvet skirts as I scanned the hallway, “Now, if I were a master vampire, where would I hide a jade lion?”

And then something clicked in my head. It was like my nose was a magnet and I suddenly could feel north.

“It’s this way,” I said, grabbing Killian’s arm and walking him swiftly down the hall. God bless my family’s gift, I was better than a bloodhound.

We didn’t get too far before I saw some vampire shadows on the wall moving quickly in our general direction. I shoved Killian into a doorway and planted my wrist on his lips before he could ask what the hell I was doing. I leaned against him like he was making an enjoyable meal out of me. I let my lids half close and my eyes glaze over as an elegantly dressed couple passed by. They smiled in warm approval, as if to say, “Ah, I remember the days of opening up my beloved’s arteries and sucking out her vital fluids.”

As soon as they passed I pulled away, but Killian wrapped an arm around my waist and drew me back with a twinkle in his eye.

“We don’t have time for this---” I protested.

He shut my lips with a wrist to my mouth and went slack, leaning his head upon my shoulder. I gave a little finger wave to a second couple that passed by. They seemed like maybe they were a little less nostalgic about the good old days. She gave her escort a glare and I knew someone was in for it tonight. Killian felt me relax as soon as they were out of view.

“We always have time for this,” he whispered and planted a kiss beneath my ear. He then grabbed my hand and pulled me out into the hallway. “Which way?” he asked.

Fucking elves.

I let the focus settle back into my bones and we were off to the races again. There seemed to be a general pattern of “down” to our direction. Down hallways… down staircases… Whenever we could duck from sight we did, but it seemed like most of the vampires were more interested in getting where they were going and not standing around making idle chitchat with their fellow damned.

Finally, we came to a bolted door with big metal bands and spiky things. That homing instinct was screaming at me that we needed to get through it.

“Okay, Killian, you’re up.”

He recoiled from the door. “I cannot touch it,” he replied.

“What are you talking-” and then it hit me. Cold iron. The entire door was made up of cold iron – perfect for keeping the fairies at bay. Hopefully, the master had banked upon the probability that a human would never have made it this far.

I opened up my purse and pulled out a little lock pick set. I inserted the metal doohickeys into the locks and fiddled around until I felt the blessed little click of the tumblers all falling into their proper place.

I pushed open the door and waited silently in case some monster was hanging around to rush us.

There wasn’t a sound, so I waved at Killian to follow me. The place was pitch black. Killian rested his hand upon my arm and I waited to see what nifty little trick he had up his sleeve.

“Night-blooming shade charm,” he whispered. He slipped a ring upon my finger and the hallway was suddenly lit in an eerie green glow. “The light is only visible to the wearer.”

I nodded at him, impressed. He totally made up for the boondoggle at the iron door.

I especially thanked him as I saw four vampires sprinting towards us silently. If we had been creeping along in the dark, Killian and I would have been human shish kabobs in a hot minute.

Instead, I had enough time to reach up my sleeve and pull out my stakes before they attacked. I braced as they left the ground to fly at me and with a pop-pop, they were skewered before they hit the floor. I turned and Killian had dispatched the other two.

Single file, we crept along the shadows and hugged the walls. The sense of drawing continued to whisper its sweet song to me and, unerring, Killian and I continued our way down into the heart of the castle.

We encountered a couple more bands of soldiers, but dispatched them in short order. My dress was getting gunky from the carnage and I felt like I would never really ever get clean again.

And then we came to the door.

It was a massive thing - iron, again. I was on my own. I looked for the lock and realized there was none.

Instead, there was a door handle with a nasty looking spike where your thumb would normally go.

I stood there for a moment and tried not to lose my lunch. I had heard about doors like this. Magical. Impenetrable. The only thing that would get that door to open was blood and the iron suggested the door didn’t want fairy blood. Which left human blood.

I placed my thumb on the latch and it poked me like a rose thorn. A big, fat droplet of blood ran down the metal spike.

And the door swung open.