17
As it turned out,
Hilton Gerard had split for Chicago long before we got back to the
Gerard Hospital for the Insane and Mentally Feeble.
Too
bad.
I was spitting mad
and in the mood to give the good doctor a piece of my mind. Don’t
ask me how I was planning to do this (being invisible and all), but
I sure would have liked to have had the opportunity.
The way it was, Dan
thanked the receptionist who turned us away in that locked-down
lobby, and when we were back in the parking lot, he held the front
car door open so Madeline could get in. I knew nobody was going to
bother to open the back door, so I slipped in ahead of her, and
maybe it was a good thing I was invisible, at least for that
moment. Me in my dorky black skirt climbing over the seat so I
could ride in the back . . . well, it was just as well Dan
couldn’t see.
He came around to
the other side of the car, got behind the wheel, and turned the key
in the ignition before he reached across the seat and patted
Madeline’s hand. “There are plenty of people who wouldn’t
have had the nerve to walk back into that place. Not after what you
went through. And you—â€
“I just kept my
chin up and put on a brave face.â€
From the seat behind
her, I snarled. “That’s because you don’t know what really
happened in there.â€
“That’s because
I’m peppery.†Madeline giggled.
Dan smiled, too.
“I’ll say. And now—â€
“Now we can get
back to the city.†She stretched, closed her eyes, and made
herself comfortable. Not exactly an easy thing to do in Dan’s
Honda Civic Hybrid, but then, Madeline didn’t have my exacting
standards.
“You’re
sure?â€
If she’d been
paying attention, she would have noticed Dan’s quizzical
expression. She popped open one eye. “Sure? Why wouldn’t I be?
You tried to talk to Hilton. It didn’t work. There’s nothing to
be gained from belaboring the point.â€
“And the
cops?â€
“Oh.†Madeline
sat up. While she thought of a way to talk herself out of her
little faux pas, she played with the climate control buttons on the
dashboard. When she had the heat turned down to a temperature I
never would have tolerated and the blower going strong enough to
muss her hair, she gave Dan a sidelong look. “I think we need
more evidence. And I think we’re only going to find that back in
the city.â€
“Like that list of
names you said you had. The missing patients.â€
“That’s right,
Danny.†In a move designed to distract him, she skimmed a hand
along his thigh.
“Oh, come on,
Madeline! He’s never going to fall for that,†I wailed, at the
same time Dan purred like a cat with its whiskers in a bowl of
cream.
The smile Madeline
shot me said it all.
I was up Shit Creek
without a paddle.
And getting in
deeper every moment.
Â
Â
I needed a plan and
I needed one bad, but instead of coming up with one, I sat in the
backseat like a lump and worried and panicked my way back to
Chicago.
Of course, there’s
only so much worrying and panicking a person can do. Even a person
without a body. Did that stop me? Hell, no. Because I didn’t know
what else to do, I worried and panicked my way into the hotel on
Madeline and Dan’s heels, and I’d just about convinced myself
that all that worrying and all that panicking was getting me
nowhere when Doris from Detroit stepped off the
elevator.
There was so much
honest relief on Doris’s face and in the mammoth hug she gave
Madeline, even I got teary-eyed. She let go of the woman she
thought was me and stepped back to give her a once-over. “Oh my
gosh, Penelope. We were so concerned! Where have you been? What
happened? Are you all right?â€
“I’m fine. Of
course I’m fine.†Madeline had slipped out of Dan’s parka the
moment they were through the hotel’s revolving door, and she
tugged nervously at the new white polyester blouse she’d paired
with a calf-length polyester blend skirt printed with black fern
leaves on a taupe background.
As if.
I pulled my gaze
from the offending clothing so I could watch the little drama
unfolding before me.
“Well, you
look...†Doris checked out Madeline again. As long as Madeline
was at Wal-Mart using my MasterCard with wild abandon (where—it
should come as no surprise—none of my credit cards had ever been
used before), she’d tossed in a pair of thick-soled black shoes
with low heels, dark stockings, and one of those black cotton
cardigans the middle-aged and the tres unchic insist on
wearing—the kind with stubby wooden buttons and sleeves that have
to be rolled up so they don’t stretch beyond the length of the
wearer’s hands.
“You look
different,†Doris said.
I can’t explain
how much this cheered me. I whooped and yelled, “You got that
right,†and I was about to slap Doris a high five when Madeline
turned and aimed a sneer in my direction—just to remind me I was
wasting my time.
She looked plenty
frickin’ smug when she grabbed Dan’s hand and turned back to
Doris. “You’re absolutely right,†she cooed, and damn, but if
there was ever a clue that this Pepper wasn’t the Pepper that
Doris and Dan knew, this should have been it. Even on my worst
days, I’ve never sounded that corny. “As of today, everything
is different. My life is different. I am different. No more
self-centered egotist. No more airhead. No more—â€
Doris’s laugh cut
her short. “Like you’re any of those things!†She glanced
from Madeline to Dan before she leaned in close and lowered her
voice so Dan couldn’t hear. “You are all right, though,
aren’t you? This guy isn’t bothering you? He
isn’t—â€
“Don’t be
silly!†When Madeline giggled, it set my teeth on edge. “This
is my Danny.â€
Relief swept over
Doris’s expression. “Well, good! It’s just that when you
didn’t show up to give your talk—â€
Madeline dismissed
this comment with a very un-Pepper-like snort. Her words dripped
with contempt. “I never miss a professional commitment. I would
never—†She caught herself at the same time Dan gave her a
funny look.
“I haven’t been
well,†Madeline said, suddenly all sweetness and light. “You
understand, I’m sure. When a person is as emotionally unstable as
I am—â€
Doris laughed again.
She patted Madeline on the shoulder. “You’re so funny. As long
as things are OK, kid, that’s all that matters.â€
Madeline stepped
nearer to Dan. She slipped an arm around his waist just as the
closest elevator doors opened. When she stepped into the elevator,
Dan went with her willingly. “Everything is fine.†She looked
past Doris to where I stood, and just as the elevator doors closed,
I saw her sleek smile and heard her say, “Everything’s going to
be fine from now on.â€
Call me crazy, or
maybe I was just hoping against hope. I had the funny feeling that
Doris didn’t actually believe this. She stood there staring at
the closed elevator doors for a long time, the expression on her
face halfway between befuddled and amazed. Again, my hopes rose. If
Doris suspected something was wrong and if she was willing to find
out what it was . . .
With a twitch of her
shoulders and a shake of her head, Doris headed over to the
concierge, and I heard her tell the woman she needed a taxi. She
was headed to the airport and on her way back home to
Detroit.
My hopes plummeted
like a rock. Doris might have had a gut feeling that something was
wrong with the Pepper who wasn’t Pepper, but none of it would
matter once she was on that plane.
There I was in
Chicago. All by myself and invisible to boot.
I didn’t have to
worry that my lipstick would look like hell, so I chewed on my
lower lip and stood there for a while, holding my panic at bay
while I thought about my options. I can’t say I’m one of the
world’s great brains, but I did know one thing for sure: if
anybody was going to get me out of this mess, it would have to be
me.
I also knew where I
had to start—the Gerard Clinic.
No sooner did the
words form in my invisible brain than a weird thing happened. I
felt a tug, as if a hand grabbed me and pulled hard. The world
around me rushed by, like the scenery during a roller coaster
ride.
The next thing I
knew, I was standing in the street right in front of the
clinic.
“Cool!†I told
myself.
It was. At least
until I saw a yellow cab not three feet away and heading right for
me.
It was especially
not so cool as I watched the front bumper of that cab get
closer—and whoosh right through
me.
Â
Â
I needed no more
proof that invisibility sucked, and no more motivation to get
moving. Traffic was heavy, and before another vehicle could zip
straight through the ectoplasm that was me, I raced to the
sidewalk. Just as I got there, I ran smack into what felt like a
wall of ice.
There was nothing
there I could see, but I could feel it, all right. Cold that
penetrated deep inside me. Ice that would have chilled me to the
bone, if I had any.
And
fear.
Oh yeah. I
recognized that the moment it climbed up my spine and sent my brain
into terror-mode.
By this time, I knew
what was happening, so I wasn’t surprised when the cold coalesced
and the nothing in front of me swirled and collapsed in on
itself.
All that was left in
its place was a black hulky shadow.
I’d never been
this close to the thing, and this close was not the place I wanted
to be.
I stepped
back.
The shadow stepped
forward. It lifted one of its massive arms and reached for me with
a paw tipped with razor-sharp claws, and I closed my eyes and held
my breath, not sure what was about to happen.
One paw (hand?
talon? hook?) still raised, it stopped.
As if it were
thinking, the shadow cocked its head. It leaned closer. It didn’t
exactly have a face, so I can’t exactly say it had a nose. Even
so, I swore I heard it sniff.
It snuffled to the
right of me. It whiffed to the left of me. It got right up into my
face and sniffed, and the next thing I knew, it shot upright—and
disappeared in a poof.
“Well, pardon me
for not having time to spritz on a little perfume this morning,â€
I snarled, braver now that it was gone. “I’ve been a little
busy being invisible.â€
And I was more than
sick and tired of it. With that thought in mind, I decided to delay
a trip into the clinic and headed instead into the
alley.
I didn’t knock on
Ernie’s box. I mean, why bother? As far as I knew, Ernie was back
in Winnetka at the Gerard Hospital for the Insane and Mentally
Feeble, and besides, not having a real hand, I couldn’t really
knock on anything, anyway. Instead, I closed my eyes, held my
breath, and walked right through the tarp that covered the opening
of the box. Once I was inside, though, I was nearly knocked for a
loop. There was Ernie sitting on a milk crate! I was so relieved
that he was safe and back home, I just about cried. I was talking
even before I thought about how there was no way he could hear
me.
“Thank goodness
you’re back! You weren’t hurt at that crazy hospital. You’re
not—â€
“Dead?â€
Ernie looked right
at me, and I would have jumped out of my skin if I had any. Being
the smart cookie I am, it didn’t take more than a moment for me
to realize what was going on.
Ernie confirmed my
worst fears when he said, “I’m dead, all right. How else would
I be able to see you and talk to you? Looks like you’re pretty
dead yourself. That’s a real shame, you being so young and all. I
was hoping you’d find a way to get out of that
place.â€
“I did get out.â€
I was so upset to hear that Ernie had met the fate of the other
people in the study and so happy to finally have someone who could
hear and see me, I couldn’t think straight. I hurried over and
sat down next to him. There was one good thing about not having a
body: the cold didn’t seep into me the way it had last time I
visited. “I escaped from the hospital through the ceiling and Dan
came and got me out and we left Winnetka and I was safe, but then .
. .†This part was hard to explain so I didn’t even try.
“I’m not dead,†I told Ernie. “Someone just stole my
body.â€
He pursed his lips
and looked over my shapeless black skirt, my white blouse, and my
lab coat. “Someone who doesn’t have your sense of style,
that’s for sure. You look like that Doctor What’s-Her-Name, the
one who used to work at the clinic.â€
“Madeline
Tremayne. She’s the one who’s using my body. She learned how to
do the switch from the research she was doing for Doctor
Gerard.â€
Thinking, Ernie
shook his head. “Never did trust that woman. Didn’t like the
way she looked at folks. You know, like they were
invisible.â€
“She’s the one
who’s been invisible. She was a ghost. After her murder, I mean.
And her husband wanted her back more than anything in the world.
And now he has her, only he doesn’t know it’s her, and he
thinks it’s me and—â€
“Hold on there.â€
Ernie could tell that what little of my composure was left was
about to self-destruct. To calm me down, he looked me in the eye.
“We’ll talk about all that in good time. Let’s start with
what’s most important. You’re telling me you’re not dead,
right?â€
I
nodded.
“Then it seems to
me that this is all wrong. If you’re not dead, you shouldn’t be
in spirit. That’s unnatural, and I may be crazy, and I’m for
sure dead, but I can tell you one thing, I know we’ve got to set
things straight and get you back in your body where you
belong.â€
I couldn’t have
agreed more.
“Where should we
begin?†he asked.
I wasn’t sure, and
I told him so. “I thought maybe if we could get into the
clinic—â€
“Easy as pie.â€
Ernie rose from the milk crate. “But you already know that,
right? You walked right in here like it was no big
deal.â€
“I took a chance.
I wasn’t sure.†I thought back to all the ghosts I’d dealt
with in the past and how they’d come and gone at will. “Are you
telling me I can go anywhere?†I asked him, and call it force of
habit, but the thought of being loose in Saks in the middle of the
night...or all alone with the Roberto Cavalli bags at Nordstrom . .
. well, it made me tingle from head to toe.
As if Ernie knew
exactly what I was thinking, he chuckled. “Like a hot knife
through butter,†he said. “One of the few advantages I’ve
found to being a ghost. It’s easy to get around.â€
He made it sound
like being dead was no big deal, but remember, I had experience
when it came to this sort of thing; I knew better. Before we got
distracted by the task of putting the spiritual me back in physical
form, I needed him to know that I understood.
“How . . . ?â€
Sure, I was used to talking to the dead, but none of them had ever
been such recent deaths. And I hadn’t known any of those ghosts
in their lifetimes. Face-to-face with all that remained of someone
who’d been alive only a short time before, I found myself with a
lump in my throat. “How . . . did it happen?†I asked
Ernie.
He shrugged off my
concern. “Same way it happens to everyone Doctor Gerard takes out
to that hospital of his, I suspect. They start out hooking you up
to these crazy machines—â€
“They did that to
me.â€
“And they keep
turning up the juice.â€
I swallowed down the
sour taste that filled my mouth. I remembered that,
too.
“But when they
find out you aren’t the real deal, that you don’t really see
ghosts like you say you do—â€
“He killed you? He
kills all of them? Just like that?â€
Another shrug.
“Not just like that. I mean, they’re humane enough about it. I
guess they don’t want any of us going back on the street, talking
about what happens out there. You know, so we don’t scare away
anyone else and they always have folks they can experiment on. They
take our brains, too, you know, after we pass. That way they can
look at the way they work, and the way those machines of theirs
affect different parts of the brain. As for the dying itself . .
.†He was quiet for a few moments, and I knew he wanted to make
sure he could say this without breaking down.
“They gave me a
shot of something, I think,†Ernie said. “All I remember is
lying on a bed and drifting away. That, and thinking about Alberta
as I went.†He looked down to where the photograph of his wife
rested against the milk crate. “Last thing I remember is thinking
that I should have gone over to her library after all. You know,
just to say hello to Alberta. Just so I could hear her voice one
more time.â€
“You could go
now.â€
“Don’t seem to
be much point now,†he said, and he didn’t sound bitter about
it, just resigned. “Only I was thinking that at least if Alberta
knew I was dead, she could check and maybe she could get some of my
veteran’s benefits. That would be something I could give her. You
know, as sort of a gift. Never did much else for the woman.â€
Ernie shook himself out of his thoughts.
“Enough of
that,†he said, “or I’ll start sounding pathetic, and I
don’t want to go through eternity like that. Let’s see what we
can do about your problem. If that Doctor Tremayne said she found
out how to switch bodies through Doctor Gerard’s research, maybe
there’s something in the clinic that will tell you how to switch
back. Only before we go . . .†Ernie stooped down and picked up
the photograph of Alberta. “Not going to leave here again without
this,†he said.
I stared at him in
wonder. “How did you do that?â€
“Do?†He was
confused, but only for a moment. “Oh, you mean pick up the
picture? I get it! You think your hands are going to go right
through things, am I right?â€
Now that Ernie
mentioned it, I realized I’d never even tried to touch anything.
After all, I’d met my share of ghosts, and they weren’t able to
touch anything. There was no use frustrating myself even more by
trying.
Was
there?
As if Ernie was
reading my mind, he grinned. “Guess you don’t know,†he said.
“You, not being officially dead. But I found out right away. I
can touch things. I’ll be able to keep touching them, too. Right
up until the next full moon.â€
This was not
something I’d ever heard from a ghost, but then, the ghosts I
knew were long dead and gone.
Except for Madeline,
of course.
“But she sent me a
postcard,†I said, even before I realized Ernie might not know
what the hell I was talking about. “She’s been dead for three
years, so that means the first full moon after she died was a long
time ago. But she sent me the postcard of the Palmer
memorial.â€
Ernie scratched a
finger alongside his nose. “Can’t say I know what you’re
getting at,†he said, and really, I think he was trying his best
to understand. “But if that there postcard came from a dead
person, and if that dead person was dead for a while, my guess is
your dead person had help. You know, from another dead
person.â€
“Like one of the
people whose brains ended up in those jars.†It made sense. “So
you’re telling me I can—â€
“Touch things.
Hold things. Pick things up. Sure.†Just to prove it, he tossed
me the photo of Alberta. I caught it with no problem.
“Yes!†I punched
a fist into the air and Ernie laughed.
“May last even
longer for you,†he said. “You not really being dead. I mean,
maybe for you, you just got to prove you believe.â€
My momentary triumph
vanished just as quickly. “Believe I can get my body back?â€
Yeah, I sounded gloomy. Like anyone could blame me?
“You’ve got to
believe, Pepper.†His words were soft, but the look in his eyes
was encouraging.
I couldn’t stand
to let him down. “I do believe,†I told him.
Ernie slanted me a
look. “Except for the part about how you don’t. I can’t say
how this whole thing works, but maybe you just gotta tell yourself
that it’s possible. Like . . .â€
“Like me fitting
into those jeans I bought on sale last fall that were a little
tight the first time I tried them on, only eventually I got into
them?â€
“And I bet you
looked like a million bucks!†He grinned. “What do you say,
young lady? Let’s see what we can do about getting you back in
the body where you belong.â€
It was weird walking
past the clinic receptionist and realizing she couldn’t see us.
It was even weirder when we went straight through the locked door
and into Hilton Gerard’s office. Fortunately, he wasn’t there,
and I had this vision of him scrambling to cover his tracks now
that the Pepper Martin he’d kept prisoner was on the loose and he
didn’t know where. Or what she might say to who.
And if he ever found
the Pepper who wasn’t Pepper? Since Madeline didn’t have my
memories, I suspected she didn’t have my Gift, either. It would
serve Hilton right to find her after she couldn’t do him any
good. Since Madeline wasn’t nearly as clever as I was, and since
she didn’t have half the nerve, she’d never get away from
Doctor Gerard’s clutches.
Was it small of me
to like the sound of that? Sure. But the thought of Madeline’s
brain in one of those jars back at the lab . . . I had to admit, it
made me smile.
Ernie noticed. “No
time for thinking whatever you’re thinking.†He looked around
at the wall lined with file cabinets and the credenza behind
Hilton’s desk where more files and books were stacked. “If
we’re going to find anything, we’d better start
looking.â€
We did. We looked
through every file in Hilton’s office, and after a couple hours
of finding nothing helpful at all, I was more than ready to throw
in the towel.
Discouraged, I
plunked down smack-dab on a three-foot-high pile of file folders
that I’d yanked out of the file cabinets and stacked on the
floor. “At this rate, by the time I’m able to get my body back,
it’s going to be too old for me to want it.†No sooner were the
words out of my mouth than I felt guilty. “I’m sorry. That was
tacky of me. Here I am talking about getting my body back when you
. . . you know . . . you can’t . . .â€
“You mean would it
bother me all that much if you got your body back and I
couldn’t?†Ernie looked up from the folder he was looking
through. “I’m dead, and you’re not. That’s the big
difference, isn’t it? And just so you don’t go feeling all bad
about it, I can’t say I’m all that sorry about being conked
out. I got a nice warm bed to sleep in those last few nights. I
didn’t have to spend my final days in a dusty, dirty
alley.â€
“Dusty.†Why the
word resonated, I couldn’t say. I only know that hearing it got
my brain working. “She said dusty,â€
I screeched, and suddenly feeling energized again, I jumped off the
pile of file folders and did a turn around the office. “Madeline
said she found the information about a ghost switching places with
a living person in one of Hilton’s dusty, old books. But we’re
not looking through dusty, old books. That’s why we haven’t
found what we need.â€
Ernie glanced around
the room. We’d already been through every file cabinet and every
desk drawer. He shrugged. “Maybe he keeps those books at
home.â€
“Or maybe
they’re too precious for that.†I’d already been through the
credenza once, and I’d seen there was a safe behind one of its
doors, but damn, there I was being shallow again. Back before he
ended up in the clink, I knew the only thing my dad kept in his
office safe was my mother’s jewelry, and I assumed everybody
thought the same way. Jewelry was valuable. Books? Not so
much.
Jazzed, I knelt on
the floor in front of the safe and looked over my shoulder at
Ernie. “What do you think?†I asked.
He knew exactly what
I was talking about. “I’m pretty new at being dead,†he said.
“Never tried anything like it. But if you believe . .
.â€
I did. I think. And
if I didn’t, I told myself I did, anyway. That was the only thing
that gave me the courage to shove my hand right through the
inch-thick steel plate door. When I brought it out again, I was
holding a sheaf of brittle papers and a book. A dusty, old
book.
“Got it!†I
jumped up and plopped the book on the desk, then dropped into
Doctor Gerard’s chair to start reading. It was no picnic. The
book was old, the printing was faded, the font was gothic and tough
to read. Still, I was lured by the tantalizing possibility of
finding the information Madeline used to steal my
body.
Even an hour later,
I hadn’t given up, and it was a good thing.
“Here!†I
pointed to the page and called Ernie over. “It says exactly what
Madeline said the night she pulled the switch. It says the stars
and the moon have to be aligned and—â€
I read the rest of
the sentence and my voice faded. “What? What is it?†Ernie’s
eyesight wasn’t all that good. He squinted and bent for a closer
look. “It says you can do it again, right? You can switch
back?â€
I slammed the book
shut. “Sure, it says I can do it again. But not until the stars
and the moon are aligned the same way. It also says that’s not
going to happen again for another seven hundred
years.â€