12
A TROUBLE SHARED IS A TROUBLE HALVED
Imperial postman (noun) a walking postman’s
or ambler’s life is dangerous, and he is forced to be skilled at
avoiding, and protecting himself against, monsters. Frequently
customers of skolds, postmen invent clever and slippery ways to
make sure that the post always gets through. Mortality rates are
high among them, however, and the agents who employ them prefer
orphans, strays and foundlings who will not be missed by fretting
families.
EARLY the next morning, Rossamünd found
Europe sitting quietly on a stiff chair by a newly lit fire,
staring at the struggling flames. She held a soup bowl of Cathar’s
Treacle, meekly sipping at it rather than gulping it down. Waiting
till she had finished her potive—feeling that this would be the
best policy—he began.
“Miss?”
Europe turned her hazel gaze to him. “Yes, little
man?”
He fidgeted. “What . . . what do you think of my
name?”
The fulgar looked annoyed. “How do you mean,
think?”
“Well, it’s not a name meant for a boy. Did you
know that?”
Her expression relaxed. She laughed her liquid
chortle. “Oh, I seeee! So, some would have it meant for a girl?
What concern is it of mine how your sires chose to label you?
Things are more than their names. If you were anointed ‘Dunghead,’
I’d still call you that without teasing or embarrassment.
It’s just a word, little man.” She gave him a soft look—faint, but
unusually kind.
Rossamünd’s heart sang a little. The fulgar might
have gone some small way to redeeming herself for the harm done at
the Brindlestow Bridge.
For a time she did not speak, and Rossamünd went to
leave. Europe reached over and touched him on the arm. She said,
very quietly, “I understand why you asked me this, though, and I’m
sure it has been a great inconvenience to you for much of your
life.”
He blinked at her capricious kindness. After a
moment he answered, “Aye, ma’am, it has at that. They would call me
‘Rosy Posy’ or ‘Girly-man’ or ‘M’lady’ or . . . or more things
besides.”
The fulgar contemplated him with a serious eye.
“Hardly surprising. Children begin the cruel career of the untamed
tongue almost as soon as they can talk.” She paused, and continued
to look at him intently. He took the bowl from her to give himself
something to do under that uncomfortable gaze.
“I hope you learn to master your hurts, little
man.”
Rossamünd kept his eyes on the black dregs in the
bottom of the bowl. “Oh, I just ignored them, stayed out of the way
as much as possible. Master Fransitart and Verline looked after me
very well, anyways, so I don’t mind.”
Europe shifted in her seat. “So, who are
these—Master Fransitart and . . . Verline?” she asked, pulling out
a small, black lacquered box.
Rossamünd relaxed. “Oh, Master Fransitart is . . .
was my dormitory master, though not the only one: there’s
Craumpalin and Heddlebulk, Instructor Barthomæus and Undermaster
Cuspin . . .”
Europe’s eyes glazed and she went back to looking
at the fire. It appeared that she had lost interest.
“. . . and Verline is Madam Opera’s parlor maid,
but she took special care of me,” Rossamünd said, finishing
quickly, wanting at least to answer her original question.
“Madam Opera, now?” Europe’s attention fixed
on him again and she lifted one brow in her characteristic manner.
“Enough names.Your first years sound almost as complicated as mine
were. Go away now, little man. A woman must have her privacy. Let
me know as soon as . . . Licurius’ body . . . and the landaulet are
fetched back.” Her shoulders sagged and, even though she had just
risen, she looked very tired.
Rossamünd nodded a little bow and, holding the soup
bowl in one hand and picking up his almanac in the other, went to
leave. As he opened the door, Europe called, “And tell them
not to disturb me.”
“Yes, Miss Europe.”
As confused as he had ever been after a
conversation with the fulgar, Rossamünd went to the common room.
Strangely, he also felt lighter than he had for many days. He read
his almanac and sipped on a mug of small beer. In the afternoon
Gretel came to him while he still sat in the common room. Dank, the
day-watch yardsman, was with her and announced to the foundling
that the landaulet had been retrieved.
Rossamünd went out to the yard and found the
carriage to be as much in the state they had left it, as could be
expected. He asked after the corpse of the leer.
“Well, ye see,” said Dank, scratching his head,
“there was no body, not the horse’s nor this Licurius
fellow’s.”
Rossamünd’s heart sank. The growing lightness
within him evaporated, without even a memory of it ever occurring
at all. His face must have shown his sinking spirits, for Gretel
put her hand softly on his shoulder.
“’Tis the way of things,” the day-watch yardsman
explained. “Monsters love their meat, and the skin and bones of
people most of all. Sorry, lad. I’m sure your mistress will
understand. She seems a worldly woman, if her reputation has it
right.”
With a heavy sigh, Rossamünd made his way to his
room, Gretel and Dank—hat humbly in hand—accompanying him. When
they were permitted to enter, Europe seemed in good spirits. With
much “um”-ing and “ah”-ing, Rossamünd gave her the grim news.
Dank confirmed his report almost as awkwardly. “We
searched as long and as far as we dared, ma’am, but turned up
nought . . .”
Black gloom immediately descended upon the fulgar,
and she ordered everyone from the room with a chilling whisper. As
Rossamünd left, she called to him. Her eyes were hard and her
expression brittle. “We will need a new driver,” she said.
Rossamünd hesitated, the question of how
forming in his mind and making its way to his mouth.
The fulgar’s eyes narrowed.
“Y-yes, Miss Europe,” the foundling said, and left
quickly.
He sought out Mister Billetus about such a task,
and the proprietor told him that the town of Silvernook, a little
way to the north, was the best place to find coachmen, wagoners and
other drivers.
“Just go to the coachman’s cottage of the Imperial
Postal Office,” offered Mister Billetus. “’Tis where all the
drivers spend their time waiting their turn to drive the mail from
town to town.”
As it was deemed too late in the day for him to
proceed, Rossamünd was forced to wait till the next day to seek a
driver in Silvernook. Instead he went to the common room to have
dinner. Just as the night before, a maid served him and he chose a
meal from a list upon a large oblong of card she held.
At the top it read “Bill of Fare” . . . and beneath
the dishes were categorized under subheadings: “Best Cuts” and “The
Rakes.” The difference Rossamünd could not fathom. Last night he
had chosen lamprey pie from the list headed “The Rakes” because he
had had it once before and did not recognize the names of any of
the other meals. It did not taste very good. Tonight he picked the
venison ragout, and also asked for an exotic-sounding drink listed
as “Juice-of-Orange.” When this beverage arrived, it had a flavor
that, yet again, amazed the simple tastes of the foundling. Sharp,
sweet, tangy, refreshing, the juice was like the best orange he had
ever eaten. The venison ragout, on the other hand, he found a
bizarre flavor in his mouth, making it tingle and smart, but he
pushed it down all the same. Not even the fussiest book child ever
left food on a plate.
A woman dressed in an astounding display of peacock
feathers and blued fur stood at the other end of the common room
and sang so sweetly Rossamünd forgot to eat for minutes at a time.
Apparently her name was Hero of Clunes—so he heard people about him
say—a famous actress from faraway south. Rossamünd wondered what
she might be doing in this remote region. Looking for “Clunes” in
his almanac, Rossamünd found to his amazement that it was so far
south it did not even show on any of his charts.
He finished his meal and returned to his room to
slumber. Europe still lay in bed, her back to the door. Rossamünd
could not tell whether she slept or simply ignored him, and cared
little for the risk to find out which.
Not long after dawn he set out. Master Billetus
sent Little Dog with him to show the way. Little Dog went forth
barefoot, protected by proofing of much lesser quality than
Rossamünd’s own fine jackcoat. He proved shy at first and seemed in
awe of the foundling, an attitude so new to Rossamünd that he found
it unnerving.
They were let through the gates, which were firmly
shut again behind them, and quickly arrived at the intersection by
which the Harefoot Dig was built. A sign was there telling them
that they had arrived at the Gainway. To the south, it said, was
High Vesting. To the north was Silvernook, and below this
Winstermill. The back of Rossamünd’s head tingled as he realized
how close he was to his final destination. He had just to keep
going north past Silvernook and he would arrive there. If it was
not for Mister Germanicus waiting for him in High Vesting, he just
might have. They turned left and went north up the Gainway toward
Silvernook.
Little Dog walked quickly and Rossamünd strained to
keep pace. It was hard work and left little breath for
conversation. The page boy kept looking about nervously, and
Rossamünd joined him. Overloud rustles made them jump and hurry on.
Once a loud crack away among the trunks alarmed them so much they
fled the road and hid behind a knuckle of lichen-covered rocks. It
was always a relief whenever a cart or a carriage passed them by,
the drivers typically offering a wave and sometimes a friendly,
incoherent greeting. This traffic became more and more frequent as
the day progressed.
By about the first bell of the forenoon watch—as
Rossamünd reckoned it—a cart rattled by and stopped. Its rubicund
driver hoied! them cheerily, calling, “Little Dog! Ye’re
wanting a hitch to Silvernook?” to which the two tired walkers gave
a hearty yes.
The driver introduced himself to Rossamünd as
Farmer Rabbitt and chatted merrily about “taters” and “gorms” and
how Goodwife Rabbitt was heavy with child. “Moi first, yer know,”
he grinned with a wink. Rossamünd thought him the happiest fellow
he had ever met, and could not help but grin along with the
farmer’s ready joy.
The darkling forest gave way to great, high hedges
of cedar trees, grown close and thick along the verges. In the
midst of almost every hedge-wall there was some kind of grand and
solid-looking gate. Little Dog informed him that these were the
fences behind which lived the local gentry.
As they rattled on, Rossamünd thought on the
perplexing choice before him: stay true to the original path—become
a lamplighter and take on a boring life, or become the factotum—the
servant—of a woman who did deeds with which he could never agree?
It was more than he knew how to solve, and he hoped circumstances
would provide a solution for him.
Soon enough they arrived at Silvernook, hidden
within a high bluestone wall. The gates of the town were open, but
they were watched. The town’s gaters, who wore the black uniform of
Brandenbrass, eyed them sternly as Farmer Rabbitt drove through. He
set Little Dog and Rossamünd down by the Imperial Postal Office,
where the lads parted ways, for Little Dog had an errand to run
somewhere else in the town.
“I’m sorry, Mister Rossamünd, sir,” he said, “but I
probably won’t be able to show you back to the Dig.You’ll find yer
way back a’right, though, won’t you?”
“I reckon so, Little Dog,” answered Rossamünd,
blushing at the boy’s deference. “I’ll have my driver by then—he’ll
be going back with me, I’m sure.”
With a satisfied nod, Little Dog left.
The Imperial Postal Office of Silvernook was narrow
and high, like every other building in the town, making the most of
the limited room offered within the safety of the town’s walls. And
as always, its chimneys were extraordinarily tall. As far as he
knew, chimneys were so lofty because it was reckoned that the
higher they were, the harder it would be for some curious bogle to
climb them and do mischief.
People were going into and coming out of the
Imperial Postal Office steadily. Rossamünd found that he had to
join a queue of high-class ladies in their voluminous skirts and
festooned bonnets; guildsmen in their weathered leather aprons; and
middle-class gentlemen buckled inside high collars and flaring
frock coats, just so he might ask for further help. When he finally
arrived at the serious woman on the other side of a perforated
wall, she informed him that the coachman’s cottage was beyond a
certain side door, through which he proceeded directly.
The door opened onto a long drive that went between
the Imperial Postal Office and another equally tall building. This
drive took him to a sizable open area at the back, large enough to
turn a two-horse carriage about, surrounded on every side by high
houses. In a far corner was a small dwelling with a bright red
door: the coachman’s cottage. A brass plaque screwed to it
declared:
. . . and Rossamünd did just that.
There was a long pause.
He tried again, and the portal was finally opened,
a thin, grudging gap.
“Hello,” Rossamünd began, hands clasped meekly. “Do
you have any drivers in there?”
The gap increased slightly.
“You what?” came a sour voice from within.
Rossamünd cleared his throat nervously. “I . . .
uh, we are needing to hire someone to drive the landaulet down to
High Vesting. Um, we’re at the Harefoot Dig, you see, and . .
.”
“You want someone to go with you down to the Dig,”
the sour voice demanded, “so they can drive some cart to High
Vesting, aye?”
“Ah . . . aye.”
“And how much you got in your purse?”
“I . . . um . . .” Flustered, Rossamünd counted his
coins. “One sequin, a florin and eight guise.”
“I seeeee.” The sour voice sounded less than
convinced. “Wait there.”
The door closed with a bang.
Fidgeting, Rossamünd was made to wait what felt
like an overlong time.
Finally the scarlet door was pulled open a crack
once more. “Sorry, no drivers available,” the sour voice declared,
sounding almost triumphant. “Too busy! Try the Drained Mouse on
Fossick’s Cauld—plenty of desperate lads there. Good-bye.”
“But wait, I don’t . . .”
The door closed with an even louder,
all-questions-ending bang.
Even before Rossamünd had a chance to turn and walk
away in disgust, the door was opened once again, wide this time.
“So yer need some help with a driver, do yer?” a voice
inquired.
Before him stood a cheerful-looking man with a
ready, toothy smile and large ears that stuck out prominently, made
more obvious by his hair, which was unfashionably short like
Rossamünd’s. This fellow was dressed in drab, sturdy proofing: a
jackcoat strapped all the way down the front; longshanks of a
thick, corded material; and white gaiters reaching as high as the
knee fastened over sturdy dark brown road-shoes. Wound tightly
about his waist was a broad sash, and fixed by black ribbons to
both arms were broad oversleeves of a brightly colored taffeta of
rouge and cadmium checkers.
Rossamünd instantly recognized the mottle of a
postman, those faithful fellows who braved bandits and bogles and
foul weather to deliver mail to and from the scattered folk of the
country. The colorful cloth was set off nicely against his
otherwise dull attire, and made the man look important and serious,
quite at odds with his friendly expression. In his hand he held a
black tricorn.
Rossamünd frowned at him, not knowing how to
answer.
“Hello, lad, sorry about being so abrupt. Just had
ter make sure I got t’ yer in time. My name is Fouracres.” The man
reached out a hand for Rossamünd to shake.
The boy did just that, as Fransitart had taught him
to, looking up at the man’s face seriously. “Hello, Mister
Fouracres. I’m Rossamünd.You’re a postman, aren’t you?”
The fellow nodded smartly. “Yes, lad, that I am—bit
obvious, ain’t it? Rossamünd, yer say? Well, Mister Rossamünd,
those other slothful souses in there might not want to help, but I
may be of service to yer.”
“How so, sir?”
“Well, I’m needed in High Vesting, yer see, and I
couldn’t help hearing yer needed a driver to take yer ter High
Vesting, so I think: two people, same problem, one solution. I’d
like ter offer me services to yer as the driver yer need. I’m not
as well practiced as these daily-driving gentlemen—I’m a walker,
yer see—but I still know how to switch a rein.”
Rossamünd did not care what the man’s credentials
were: he could drive, that was all he wanted to know. He accepted
Fouracres’ offer with glee.
The postman bowed humbly. “Just wait by the front
of the office, and I will join yer as soon as I’m able,” he offered
with a grin.
With many an exuberant thank you, sir!
Rossamünd went back through the Imperial Postal Office and waited
on the street out in front. It took a long time for the postman to
emerge. As Rossamünd waited, with people and vehicles bustling by,
he began fretting that he had been duped by the unwilling people
inside the coachman’s cottage. His fears proved unfounded, however,
for Fouracres arrived soon enough, hat on head, bag full of
dispatches on his back and a satchel over his shoulder—ready to
leave. Before much longer they were walking back out the gates of
Silvernook and returning down the road to the Harefoot Dig.
Rossamünd had found a driver!