6
Woman’s like the flatt’ring ocean,
Who her pathless ways can find?
Every blast directs her motion,
Now she’s angry, now she’s kind.
John Gay, Polly
MAY in Kensington Gardens. The broad lawns are as
velvet-smooth as the artificial turf of a football field, and
ranked tulips sway on their stems like squads of colored birds.
Above them brisk sudden breezes pass kites about a sky suffused
with light. As Fred Turner crosses the park, one landscaped vista
after another fans out before him, each complete with appropriate
figures: strolling couples, children suspended from red and blue
balloons, well-bred dogs on leash, and joggers in shorts and
jerseys.
Fred is on his way across town to a drinks party
(he has learnt not to say “cocktails”) at Rosemary Radley’s. Near
the Round Pond he checks his watch, then sits down on a bench to
wait a few minutes so that he won’t arrive too soon. He has offered
to come early and help, but Rosemary wouldn’t hear of it. “No,
Freddy darling. I want you just to enjoy yourself. You mustn’t get
here a minute before six. The caterers will do everything—and Mrs.
Harris, of course.”
For Fred has won their argument, and Rosemary has
hired a cleaning lady. He hasn’t met her yet, but she sounds great.
According to Rosemary she is a hard worker and very thorough: she
gets right down on her hands and knees to wax the floors. What’s
more, she doesn’t talk Rosemary’s ear off about her husband or her
children or her pets: she has no children or pets, and she is long
divorced from her drunken husband.
Insisting that she hire Mrs. Harris is one good
thing Fred has done for Rosemary. She has done much more for him:
she has transformed him from a depressed, disoriented visiting
scholar to his normal confident self. His earlier anomie, Fred
realizes now, was occupational. Psychologically speaking, tourists
are disoriented, ghostly beings; they walk London’s streets and
enter its buildings in a thin ectoplasmal form, like a
double-exposed photograph. London isn’t real to them, and to
Londoners they are equally unreal—pale, featureless,
two-dimensional figures who clog up the traffic and block the
view.
Before he met Rosemary, Fred didn’t really exist
for anyone here except a few other academic ghosts. Nor did London
really exist for him. He wasn’t so much living in Notting Hill Gate
as camping out there so that he could walk every day to the British
Museum and sit before a heap of damp-stained, crumbling
leather-bound books and foxed pamphlets. Now the city is alive for
him and he is alive in it. Everything pulses with meaning, with
history and possibility, and Rosemary most of all. When he is with
her he feels he holds all of England, the best of England, in his
arms.
He has wholly recovered from the panic that seized
him last month in Oxfordshire, when he was frightened by a few
topiary birds and a too-vivid memory of the novels of Henry James
into condemning an entire society. His distrust of Edwin and Nico
remains—homosexuals have always made Fred uneasy, maybe because so
many of them have propositioned him. But he feels fine about Posy
Billings and William Just; he looks back on his moral indignation
that night as priggish and provincial.
Among Rosemary’s long-married friends, he has
found, arrangements like that of the Billings are common. More
often than not, husbands and wives have agreed to allow each other
a discreet sexual freedom, which their friends then take for
granted. Everyone knows who Jack or Jill is “seeing” at the moment,
but no one mentions it—except maybe to ask whether Jill would
rather have her husband or her lover invited with her to some
party. The couples remain amicable, sharing a house or houses,
concerned for each other’s welfare and that of their children,
giving dinners and celebrating holidays together. As Rosemary says,
it’s a much more civilized way of coping with passionate impulse
than the American system. One avoids open scandal, and also the
tantrums of self-righteous possessive jealousy—which, as she points
out, usually end in dreadful messy scenes, economically vindictive
divorces, and the destruction of homes, children, reputations, and
careers. Nor is there any of the frantic defensiveness and public
display of the so-called open marriages that she’s seen among
actors in the States (and Fred, now and then, among graduate
students)—and which, as Rosemary remarks, never work anyhow. “It’s
exactly like leaving all the doors and windows open in a house. You
get nasty drafts, and very likely you’ll have burglars.”
The strain on Fred’s budget has also been eased—at
least temporarily—by a loan from the Corinth University Credit
Union, arranged by mail with some difficulty. With luck it will
just about last until he leaves. He can go to restaurants with
Rosemary now without always ordering salad; he can buy her the
flowers she loves so much. If he has to skimp and save for the next
year or so, hell, it’s worth it.
Only two things currently trouble Fred. One is the
fact that his work on John Gay isn’t getting on too fast. When he
was first in London, depression slowed him down; now euphoria does
so. In comparison to the world outside its walls, the BM seems even
more oppressive than before. He is irritated at having to show his
pass on entry to the suspicious guard, who ought to know him by
now; and he detests having his briefcase searched on departure. He
is even more impatient when the volumes he wants turn out to be in
the deposit library at Woolwich (two days’ wait) or in use by other
readers (one to four days’ wait). And the less often he goes to the
Bowel Movement the worse it gets, since books placed on temporary
reserve by Fred or any other reader fail to rise again on the third
day and are, with infinite slowness, returned to their dark
tombs.
Though he knows this rule, several days more and
more often intervene between Fred’s visits to the library, and more
and more of the books he has been using have now disappeared
somewhere within the system; the slips come back marked
NOT ON SHELF, DESTROYED BY BOMBING, or—most
infuriatingly of all—OUT TO F. TURNER.
Meanwhile there is so much to do in London, so many plays and films
and exhibitions to see with Rosemary, so many parties. The hell
with it, Fred tells himself almost every day. He’ll learn a lot
more about British theatrical history and tradition by listening to
Rosemary and her friends than by sitting in a library—something
that, Christ knows, there’ll be time enough for back in
Corinth.
The other weight on Fred’s mind is heavier, though
it consists not of a stack of books but of an airletter almost
lighter than air. The letter is from his estranged wife Roo, and is
her first in four months—though Fred has written her several times:
asking her to forward his mail, returning her health insurance
card, and inquiring for the address of a friend who’s supposed to
be at the University of Sussex. Roo, as he might have expected,
hasn’t forwarded the mail, acknowledged the card, or provided the
address.
But now, like a tardy bluebird of peace returning
late to a deserted ark after three times forty days and nights,
this blue airletter has flapped its way across the ocean to him. In
its beak it holds, no question about that, a fresh olive
branch.
. . . The thing is [Roo writes] I
guess I should have told you I was going to put your cock and the
rest of those pictures in my show. I’m not sure I would have taken
them down even if you raised hell—but I didn’t need to make it such
a big surprise. If it’d been me, I mean say my pussy, I probably
would have freaked out too. Kate says I must have been pissed off
at you for something, maybe for being so wound up with school. Or
maybe I was scared I wouldn’t have the guts to show the photos if
you said not to.
Anyhow I wanted to tell you this, okay?
Nothing much happening here, the weather is
still foul. I won second prize in the Gannett contest for those 4-H
pictures, Collect $250 but do not pass Go. The emergency room ones
were better but not so heart-warming. Everybody misses you. I hope
London is fabulous and you’re getting your shit together in the BM.
Love, Roo.
Here, four months late, is the letter Fred had
imagined and desired so often during the dark emptiness of January
and February—the letter he had so often fantasized finding on the
scratched mahogany table in the front hall of his building, tearing
open, laughing and shouting over, cabling or telephoning in
response to. He had imagined changing the sheets on his bed,
meeting Roo’s plane—
Faced with this evidence of Roo’s contrition and
candor—he has never known her to tell a lie, even when it would
have been socially convenient—Fred has to admit that he had accused
her falsely. If Roo had had an affair he would have been the first
to hear about it, from her. She was telling the truth when she said
she never had anything to do with those two other cocks in the
exhibit except to photograph them. More than likely they belonged
to an old friend of hers from art school who is now working in New
York, and his homosexual lover. In fact, she was guilty of nothing
worse than bad taste.
But in Rosemary’s world bad taste is not nothing:
it is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual flaw.
Fred remembers her saying only the other day, when discussing a
mutual acquaintance with Posy: “I can understand how anyone might
get carried away temporarily by Howie’s looks, and his talent, but
what I really don’t see is how Mimi could possibly bring herself to
move into that dreadful Kentish Town flat of his, with the plastic
ferns and the bullfight posters.” “And those frightful gold-flocked
shiny curtains, like cheap Christmas ribbon,” Posy agreed. “She
must be out of her mind.” Their unspoken assumption was that anyone
who would choose such a spuriously natural (the ferns), spuriously
virile (the posters), and spuriously elegant environment must be
false in other ways as well. And probably, Fred thinks now,
recalling his own impressions of Howie, an ITV television
executive, Rosemary and Posy are right.
Roo’s bad taste, of course, is of a different sort,
crude rather than phony—some but not much better. Fred, like Mimi,
had been carried away by looks and talent; that was what Rosemary
would have said. Yeh, maybe. But however bad her taste, Roo is a
person he used to care a lot for, and his wife. The least she
deserves from him now is the truth. But how can he give her that?
“Thanks for your letter, it was great to hear from you, but I’m in
love with a beautiful English actress, have a good day.” Not
wanting to write these sentences, or some mealy-mouthed equivalent
of them, Fred has put off answering Roo’s letter for nearly two
weeks. He doesn’t want to have to think about her now, nor does he
want to think ahead to his return to Corinth. When they do meet he
will apologize and explain; she will understand. Or maybe she won’t
understand. It almost doesn’t matter; nothing matters now except
his passion for Rosemary Radley.
Possession hasn’t decreased the intensity of Fred’s
desire. If the excitement of the chase is over, it has been
replaced by the knowledge that his triumph must be brief. Joe and
Debby Vogeler, typically, take the pessimistic view. Wasn’t it
really a mistake to get so involved emotionally, Debby wondered,
when he knew he had to leave England next month? Since she hadn’t
exactly framed this remark as a question, Fred didn’t have to
answer it; but inwardly he swore a strong No. Not for the first
time, he thought that the Vogelers’ world-view was as limited and
narrow as the triangular house that had been allotted to them here,
as if by the poetic justice of some supernatural real estate
agent.
But then Joe and Debby don’t know Rosemary or
Rosemary’s London. He had told them about Vinnie Miner’s party and
others that had followed—how amazing Rosemary was, what interesting
people she knew, how friendly most of them were. The Vogelers,
however, remained sceptical.
“Sure, maybe they were cordial to you for a few
minutes,” Debby said, as the three of them sat in the triangular
house on a wet dark afternoon, among a clutter of Sunday papers and
plastic toys. “They learn nice manners in their schools. But will
you ever see any of them again? That’s what it’s really all about.
When we were first here, Joe and I went to lunch with this elderly
writer that his aunt knows, in Kensington, and everybody was very
pleasant and said how they hoped to see us again, but nothing ever
came of it.”
“It was Jakie.” Joe gestured at his son, who was
sitting on the floor in a fuzzy white coverall stained with baby
food, tearing up the Observer Magazine. “We shouldn’t have
brought Jakie.”
“Jakie was perfectly good,” Debby protested. “He
didn’t cry or anything. And he didn’t really hurt that old cat, he
was just playing. I don’t know why they all got so excited.”
“They didn’t like him sitting on your lap at lunch,
either,” Joe said.
“Well, too bad. What was I supposed to do with him?
I bet they wouldn’t have liked it any better if Jakie had been
crawling round the floor. Besides, he could have hurt himself on
that lumpy antique furniture.”
They don’t understand, Fred thought then, resolving
that he would arrange for Joe and Debby to meet Rosemary soon (and
in the absence of Jakie). When they see her, or at least when they
get to know her and her friends, he thinks now, sitting on the
bench in Kensington Gardens, they’ll understand how great most of
them are.
After all, even for him it had taken time. Now,
though, the doubts he had had earlier—and in a weak moment hinted
at to Joe and Debby—seem to him shameful, mean-spirited. It would
have been cowardly to hold back from Rosemary because the more he
cares for her now, the more he will miss her later. Nothing could
be worse than having to say to himself for the rest of his life:
“Rosemary Radley loved me, but I couldn’t really get into it
because I didn’t like some of her friends—because she lived too
expensively—because I knew I was leaving London in June and might
not see her again for almost a year.”
If Joe and Debby couldn’t understand that yet,
Rosemary and her world certainly would. Fred remembers an interview
in the Times last week with a friend of Rosemary’s named
Lou, in which he announced that he’d told his agent to turn down
all television and film offers because he had a chance to play Lear
for two weeks in Nottingham. “Where the theatre is doesn’t matter;
the length of the run doesn’t matter,” he was quoted as declaring.
“When you get a chance like that nothing else counts.”
“What an old dear Lou is,” Rosemary had added,
after reading this passage aloud to Fred. “Of course, I rang up
directly to congratulate him. Really, I told him, he should have
had the part long ago, he’s a marvelous actor, a real genius. And
there’s no need to go on a diet, I said, why on earth shouldn’t
Lear be fat? He probably was fat, and his riotous knights too, from
eating and drinking so much and using up all Goneril’s provisions.
You don’t hear about them working or exercising, do you? I said to
him, ‘Lou darling, you’re quite wrong, you musn’t try to take off a
single ounce; you know your voice is always better after a good
meal.’ I only wish I could say the same, but it’s just the reverse
for me. As soon as I start working again I’ll have to starve
myself, look at all this flesh.” Rosemary lifted the edge of a
kimono embroidered with blue and gray chrysanthemums to reveal a
pink, deliciously rounded thigh and hip. “No, Freddy darling, I
didn’t mean . . . Oh, dearest . . .
Ahhh . . .”
Thinking of this moment again, and the moments that
followed it, Fred rises from the bench and, as if drawn by a
magnetic force, strides toward Chelsea.
Even before most of the guests have arrived it’s
clear that Rosemary’s party is a success. The weather is fine, the
house looks great: the window boxes and the stone urns by the steps
have been scoured clean and overflow with white geraniums and
satiny ivy; through the open French doors the back garden is a haze
of green. Inside, too, everything glows—at least everything that’s
visible to guests: Fred, looking for a place to put some coats,
opens the door to Rosemary’s bedroom, then slams it hastily on
chaos. Evidently Mrs. Harris was so busy downstairs that she didn’t
have time for anything else.
Descending the stairs again, Fred looks down into a
scene that resembles a commercial for some luxury product: the
perfectly elegant party. The double drawing room is a dazzle of
flowers and light and stylishly dressed people. Many of Rosemary’s
friends are good-looking, many are well known, and some are both.
There are only a few who rather spoil the effect, who would never
have been cast if this were in fact a commercial. For instance,
little Vinnie Miner, who is wearing one of what Rosemary calls “her
Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle costumes”—all starched white cotton and fuzzy
pale-brown wool like the fur of some small animal. Fred recalls
with amazement how formidable she had seemed to him only a few
months ago. Already he has absorbed the view of Rosemary and her
friends, that Vinnie, though clever and likeable, is a bit of a
comic turn, with her passion for Morris dancing and children’s
books and everything British that is quaint and out-of-date.
“Vinnie, hello. How are you?”
“Fine, thank you.” Vinnie tilts her head up to look
at Fred. “What a big party, I didn’t realize. And how are you? How
is your book on Gay coming along?”
“Oh, very well, thanks,” Fred lies.
“That’s good. How nice the house looks! It’s really
amazing. I suppose it’s all due to Mrs. Harris?”
“Well, more or less.”
“Excuse me, please, ma’am. ‘Scuse me.” Behind him
Fred hears for the first time in his life an American accent: loud,
flat, nasal. Is that how he sounds to everyone here, every damn
time he opens his mouth? “Here you are, Vinnie.” A large balding
man in late middle age, got up like an American country-and-western
singer in cowboy boots and a suede jacket with fringe, hands her a
glass. “One dry sherry, honey, like you ordered.”
“Oh, thank you,” Vinnie says. “Chuck, this is Fred
Turner, from my department in Corinth. Chuck Mumpson.”
“Wal, howdy.” Chuck extends a broad, fleshy red
hand.
“How do you do,” Fred replies guardedly. His
immediate thought is that Chuck’s accent and costume, so
exaggerated and inappropriate to this party, are assumed—and maybe
his name as well. This is not an American, but one of Rosemary’s
theatrical friends amusing himself by taking on a role—something he
has learnt that actors occasionally do when they have been too long
between engagements.
“Heard a lot about you.” Chuck grins.
Fred asks himself what this man, whoever he is, has
heard. Probably that he is Rosemary’s lover. “I haven’t heard
anything about you,” he says, consciously listening to his own
voice for the first time since adolescence. The pronunciation is
similar, he decides, but the tune different. In fact, over the past
few months Fred has taken on, not a British accent, but a British
intonation and vocabulary. Almost unconsciously, he has begun to
imitate the characteristic melody of British speech, with its
raised final notes; consciously, so as to be understood, he now
uses terms like lift, lorry, and loo instead of
elevator, truck, and bathroom.
“Chuck’s from Oklahoma,” Vinnie says.
“Oh, yeh?” There is still an edge of doubt in
Fred’s voice—though it seems unlikely that Vinnie would conspire in
some actor’s impersonation. “I’ve never been there, but I saw the
movie.”
“Haw-haw.” Chuck gives a genuine, or very
plausible, western guffaw. “Wal, it isn’t much like the movie, not
any more.”
“No, I guess not.” This uncomfortable conversation
is interrupted by the arrival of more guests, and more behind
these. Soon the long high-ceilinged room is thronged. The twin
chandeliers, their prisms newly polished, scatter light and echo
the tinkle and splash of liquids poured into crystal, of
high-pitched laughter and exclamation.
The miracle wrought by Rosemary’s new cleaning lady
does not pass unnoticed. All her friends compliment her on it,
including some who had speculated earlier that maybe Mrs. Harris
wasn’t as wonderful as Rosemary and Fred made out. Neither of them
might know whether a house had been properly cleaned, some
suggested; others said that Mrs. Harris sounded too good to be
true. Now that the evidence is before them they take another
line.
“Perhaps it’s a bit too perfectly cared for,” Fred
overhears one guest remark. “One almost feels one’s in some
National Trust property.”
“Yes, exactly,” agrees her companion. “I expect
Mrs. Harris is one of those types who have an absolute obsession
with cleanliness. People like that, of course they’re a little bit
crazy,” continues this friend, whose own flat could have used a
visit from Mrs. Harris. “Rosemary had better be careful she isn’t
murdered in her bed one day.”
This sort of spite on the part of Rosemary’s
friends is a new development. In the past, envy of her prettiness,
fame, high spirits, charm, and income—television, even British
television, pays well—has always been tempered by compassion for
her disorderly living conditions and her history of romantic
disaster. Though widely courted, she always seemed to end up with
the least stable and attractive of her many suitors. Moreover, the
men she chose were usually married, and presently they either
returned to their wives or, worse, left both the wife and Rosemary
for some other woman. Thus, however pretty and successful she might
be, her friends have been able to love and worry about Rosemary,
her acquaintances to like and pity her. But now that she has a
perfect house in Chelsea and a handsome, apparently unattached
young lover, many of them cannot forgive her.
Besides making ominous predictions, some of the
guests tonight try to pump Fred about Mrs. Harris. As Rosemary had
remarked, it isn’t easy to find a good English-speaking charlady in
London. “You wait and see,” she told Fred. “There’ll be plenty of
people who’ll want to lure Mrs. Harris away, even though they call
themselves my friends. You musn’t tell anyone anything about her,
even what her days are; promise me, darling.” Fred, thinking it
unnecessary, had nevertheless promised. Now he sees that Rosemary
was right. More than one of her guests, when she is out of hearing,
make pointed inquiries: How much does Mrs. Harris ask? Does she
have a free day? Fred replies truthfully to both questions that he
doesn’t know. An elderly actress called Daphne Vane, who had
starred with Rosemary in Tallyho Castle until her pathetic
on-screen death from pneumonia last season, is especially
persistent.
“I’d really like so much to meet Mrs. Harris,”
Daphne murmurs in the wistful, breathy manner that made her a
romantic heroine of the stage and screen half a century ago. “She
sounds like the genuine article, and one comes across that so
seldom now. I had so much hoped that she would be at the
party—helping, you know.” She glances round the room, making great
play with her famous feathery eyelashes.
“She’s not here,” Fred tells Daphne. “Rosemary
didn’t ask her to serve; she says Mrs. Harris isn’t very
presentable.”
“No? Well, one can’t have everything, can one? But
perhaps she’s below in the kitchen?” Fred shakes his head; if he
had nodded, he suspects, nothing would have prevented the
unworldly, ethereal-looking Daphne from scooting down the back
stairs to the basement. “Do you know what her days are?”
“I’m not sure, no.”
“What a pity.” Daphne gives him the sweet,
condescending smile she might give some village idiot; then,
without seeming to move, she floats-off into another
conversation.
In fact Fred knows very well that Mrs. Harris comes
on Tuesdays and Fridays, since he can’t visit Rosemary then—and,
after one attempt, she won’t come to his flat. Though he did all he
could to make the place attractive, his love hardly spent five
minutes there. Drawing her pale fur coat more closely about her,
she declared it “absolutely freezing” and “frightfully unromantic,”
and declined even to sit on the sofa bed where Fred had pictured
her lying half naked.
Efficient as she is, Mrs. Harris has her defects.
She can’t bear to have anybody “underfoot” while she cleans. She
also refuses to answer the phone and take messages, claiming that
it puts her off her work. Occasionally she will snatch up the
receiver, shout “Nobody ‘ome!” and bang it down again; more often
she just lets it ring. Some of Rosemary’s friends view this as
another sign of dangerous battiness; Fred’s own suspicion is that
Mrs. Harris is more or less illiterate. That would help to explain
why such a hard-working and reliable woman hasn’t been able to find
a better-paying job.
In support of the battiness theory, however, it has
to be said that Mrs. Harris also won’t answer the door. Last
Tuesday afternoon, when Fred discovered that he was free that
evening after all, because the Vogelers’ baby had a cold, and he
wasn’t able to reach Rosemary on her private line or get a message
through her answering service, he decided to go to the house. He
knocked, rang, and called out her name; but though he could hear
muffled noises within, nobody came. Finally he scribbled a note on
the back of an envelope.
As he pushed back the letter-flap, Fred was aware
of motion inside the house. He stooped to the newly polished brass
slot, and got his first glimpse of Mrs. Harris at the other end of
the darkened hall, scrubbing the floor on her hands and knees: a
shapeless middle-aged woman in a shapeless cotton skirt and
cardigan, her hair tied up in a red kerchief. At the sound of the
note falling and skidding on the marble tiles, she swiveled her
head round, scowling—or maybe her expression had long ago set into
a mask of suspicious ill-temper.
“Hello!” Fred called. “I’ve left a note for Lady
Rosemary—could you give it to her, please?” Mrs. Harris didn’t
answer, but turned her back and resumed scrubbing.
Though she won’t speak to callers, Mrs. Harris does
talk freely to her employer, and at length. Her conversation isn’t
the burden Rosemary feared, but a source of entertainment. Mrs.
Harris’ doings and remarks—maybe somewhat edited or heightened—are
now regularly relayed by Rosemary to all her friends. Mrs. Harris
believes that looking at the full moon through glass makes you
loony, unless it’s over your left shoulder. She eats Marmite and
golden-syrup sandwiches to build up her blood. She goes to the
greyhound track and bets on dogs with names that begin with S for
Speed or W for Win. “Them races are fixed, see, everybody knows
that,” she has confided to Rosemary. “But there’s clues.”
Mrs. Harris’ specialty, however, is gnomic, usually
sour pronouncements on current events and famous persons. She
dislikes all politicians and most members of the royal family,
though she remains loyal to “Princess Margaret Rose” in spite of
the scandals about her love life. “Misguided she was, is all,
misguided and betrayed by that midget.” Fred can hear Rosemary
repeating this latest mot even now, mimicking her charlady’s
voice—rough and cockney, with a hint of boozy sentiment—and
indicating with a broad gesture the supposed height of Lord
Snowdon.
Fred has even found himself telling Mrs. Harris
stories to friends like the Vogelers. In spite of her ill-temper,
she has been gradually assimilated into his image of England. Most
American visitors—like, say, Vinnie Miner—are attracted mainly to
the antique, the picturesque, and the noble aspects of Britain.
Fred’s love is wider-ranging: essentially it comprehends whatever
has been hymned in song or told in story. In his present high mood
he embraces even what he might deplore in America. Slag heaps
remind him of Lawrence, pawnshops of Gissing; the pylons that
deface the Sussex hills suggest Auden, the sooty slums of South
London, Doris Lessing. In his mouth, canned plum pudding tastes of
Dickens; to his ear, every overweight literary man sounds a little
like Dr. Johnson. Seen through these Rosemary-tinted glasses, Mrs.
Harris is a character out of eighteenth-century literature: a
figure from the subplot of some robust comedy illustrated by
Hogarth or Rowlandson. Fred not only appreciates her
eccentricities, he takes a proprietary pride in them. After all, if
it hadn’t been for him she’d never have been hired.
The doorbell sounds again. Fred goes to answer it
and sees that Joe and Debby Vogeler have arrived, and that they
have brought with them—against his instructions—their baby.
“The sitter never showed up,” Debby says in an
aggrieved voice as soon as Fred opens the door, as if this were
somehow his fault. “So we had to bring Jakie.”
“He’s been very good all the way here,” Joe says in
a more conciliatory tone. “He’s been sleeping mostly.” The baby is
suspended against Debby’s bosom in a sort of scruffy blue canvas
hammock, with his fat legs sticking out on both sides and his bald
head lolling against her neck. Debby is got up to match in a
washed-out denim jacket, a long ruffled denim skirt, and clogs, as
if she were about to appear on Prairie Home Companion. Joe
wears his usual shabby-academic costume: thick spectacles, worn
cord jacket, pilled and sagging gray turtleneck jersey, scuffed
loafers. Though Fred is used to seeing the Vogelers in clothes like
these, his friends strike him as deliberately and even aggressively
ill-dressed for the occasion. In one respect, however, they are
improved: the fine weather has restored their health, and for the
first time none of them has an obvious cold.
“Come on in; great to see you,” he says, trying to
sound enthusiastic. “You can put the baby upstairs, in one of the
spare bedrooms. I’ll show you—”
“Certainly not.” Debby wraps her arms protectively
around Jakie.
“That wouldn’t be right,” Joe explains, looking at
Fred as if his suggestion could only issue from an almost criminal
ignorance. “I mean, suppose he was to wake up alone in a strange
room? It could be a serious trauma.”
“Well, okay.” For days Fred has been looking
forward to the meeting between his old friends and his new love.
Now it is with a sense of foreboding that he leads the Vogelers
across the drawing room to where Rosemary stands in the bay window
beside a flowering orange tree; like it, she is a fragrant spring
vision in pale-green many-pleated glistening silk.
“Oh, how nice!” she cries, putting out her soft
white ringed hand. “And you’ve hiked here all the way from North
London, isn’t that amazing.” To Fred this appears a pointed
reference to their footwear; but Joe and Debby smile, even grin,
charmed already.
“Yeh, and we brought our baby,” Debby says, half
belligerent, half apologetic.
“Oh yes, I see you did.” Rosemary laughs lightly,
managing somehow to convey that it would have been politer not to
mention this. “But Fred, darling, you haven’t got your friends
anything to drink.”
“Sorry.” Fred goes to order a gin-and-tonic for
Debby and—since there’s no beer—Scotch-and-water for Joe. Most of
the guests, as is usual at warm-weather London parties, are
drinking white wine.
On his way back across the room, Edwin Francis
stops him. “If you have a moment, Fred,” he says, gesturing with a
cream cracker overloaded with pâté, “I’d like to speak to
you.”
“Sure, just a sec.” Partly because he doesn’t much
like Edwin, Fred is always careful to be agreeable to him. Having
delivered the Vogelers’ drinks and introduced them to other guests
(Rosemary has drifted away), he follows Edwin into the hall.
“It’s about Mrs. Harris.” As if casually, Edwin
steps onto the bottom tread of the gracefully curving stairs. He is
still shorter than Fred, but the difference is now less
pronounced.
“Yes?” Fred thinks that Edwin too—whom Rosemary
loves and trusts—wants to swipe her cleaning lady.
“I’m becoming a bit concerned about her. She
sounds, how shall I put it, such a dominant personality. So
suspicious of everyone and everything. And possibly somewhat
unbalanced as well. I’m really quite worried about her effect on
Rosemary; she seems to be falling more and more under Mrs. Harris’
influence, if you see what I mean.” Edwin frowns, increasing his
resemblance to a plump, solemn child. “Repeating all her ignorant
reactionary opinions, well, you know.”
“Mm.” Fred is familiar with this complaint. Some of
Rosemary’s friends have put it to him more strongly. “Rosemary’s
far too impressed with that woman,” they complain. “Believes
everything she says.”
“You know, for a certain sort of actor it’s an
advantage to have a rather indefinite sense of self. It makes it
much easier to get into various parts. But it can be a problem,
too.”
“Oh?” Fred says, expressing doubt. He has no idea
what Edwin is waffling on about; Rosemary obviously has a very
definite, and wonderful, self. Her ability to mimic Mrs. Harris
doesn’t preclude this.
“I mean, a joke’s a joke, right?”
Fred, without enthusiasm, agrees that a joke is a
joke.
“But that sort of thing can go too far. What
worries me is, I’m off to Japan to lecture next week, I’ll be away
over a month, and if anything should happen—I mean, with Nadia in
Italy and me in Japan and Erin due to go to the States for that
film, and poor Posy immured in Oxfordshire with those boring little
girls—Well, I won’t really feel comfortable unless I know someone’s
looking out for our Rosemary. So it had better be you.”
“Um,” says Fred, who greatly dislikes the phrase
“our Rosemary” and the idea of sharing his love with Edwin—or for
that matter with anyone.
“Promise now. Because she’s very delicately
balanced, you know. She can get a bit frantic—into rather a
difficult state—sometimes.”
Repressing his annoyance, Fred nods. He has never
seen Rosemary “frantic” or in a state; also, he doesn’t agree with
Edwin that Mrs. Harris is imposing her opinions on her employer. On
the contrary, he’s begun lately to suspect that Rosemary is
imposing her opinions on—or rather, attributing them to—Mrs.
Harris. It’s not just that the lines are too good; they also have a
way of echoing Rosemary’s less harmonious opinions. For instance,
she is rather bored by the ballet; Mrs. Harris, according to her,
describes it as “all them faggots jumping and ‘opping.” Rosemary
despises the current government; Mrs. Harris thinks they are a lot
of bloody crooks.
Also, more and more often, Mrs. Harris gives
Rosemary reasons for doing what she wants to do anyhow—or not doing
what she doesn’t want to do. Recently a late-night variety show was
organized in aid of a famous old East London theater. Rosemary
declined to participate, not because it would be inconvenient,
unprofitable, and exhausting, but because, she claimed, Mrs. Harris
had told her that “them people in ‘ackney got no use for fancy
stage acting, they’d rather watch the telly.” What they really
wanted was a kiddies’ playground—her niece who lived out that way
knew all about it. Anyhow, Mrs. Harris—as reported by
Rosemary—said, the whole thing was a sell. “Most of the cash those
types take in’ll stay in their own pockets, always does with them
charity things.” At a lunch party last week Rosemary’s friend Erin
protested these statements, and tried, with considerable patience
and charm, to make her reconsider. She refused to listen. “Please,
darling, don’t tell me any more nonsense,” she cried, giving her
silvery laugh and spearing a profiterole with the silver tines of
her fork (she adores what she calls “wicked desserts”). “You don’t
know the least thing about Hackney, and neither do I. But I know
Mrs. Harris is right about it; she’s always right.”
Feeling annoyed at Edwin, Fred leaves him and
returns to the party. He sees at once that the Vogelers are not
mixing, but standing by themselves in a corner trying to soothe
Jakie, who has begun to make a whimpering squeaking noise, like a
stuck drawer.
“Let me take him now, it’s my turn,” Joe says,
checking his watch. With Fred’s help, the surprisingly heavy baby
and his canvas sling are transferred to his father’s back, where
the whimpering and squeaking resume. “Maybe if he had a cracker or
something.”
“Sure.” Fred finds a plate of canapés and scrapes
the caviar off one.
“Great. There you are now, ducky.” Jakie reaches
for the cracker and stuffs it clumsily into his mouth, shedding
crumbs over Joe’s jacket.
Asleep and slumped against Debby’s chest, Jakie was
relatively inconspicuous. Now, because of his father’s greater
height and his own wakefulness, he is a visible presence in the
room—and a rather grotesque one, Fred thinks; from the front Joe
seems to have two heads and four arms. Something has got to be done
about the Vogelers. He remembers his mother’s rule that you musn’t
allow anyone at a party to stand alone talking to the people they
came with; you must try to separate them.
Taking the easiest first, he leads Debby away and
presents her to a woman novelist as “an American feminist.” (It
doesn’t much matter what you say when you make introductions, his
mother has also advised him, but you’ve got to say something, to
provide a conversational opening.) Then, to avoid parading his
two-headed, four-armed, crumb-littered friend across the drawing
room, Fred introduces Joe to a drama critic, TV personality, and
notorious bore who is leaning against the mantelpiece nearby, under
the pretense that Joe is a visiting American anxious to know what
shows to see in London. All right, that should do it, he thinks,
and goes off in search of Rosemary and a drink.
But the Vogelers remain on Fred’s conscience, and
he keeps checking to see how they are doing. Twenty minutes later
Debby seems to be circulating, but Joe is still trapped in the same
spot talking—or rather listening—to the same man. He is clearly not
engrossed; in a gesture Fred remembers well from graduate school,
he has pushed his spectacles up onto his head. Aloft or his untidy
mouse-brown hair, they suggest another pair of eyes fixed upon
higher and more philosophical objects of contemplation.
Altogether, in his shabby clothes, with Jakie
wiggling on his back, Joe is an incongruous figure at Rosemary’s
party. He looks especially out of place in front of the white
marble fireplace, with its curved mantel crowded with framed
photographs, engraved invitations, objets d’art, and tall vases of
hothouse flowers doubled into a profusion of bloom by the big
gilt-framed rococo mirror. The baby is awake and restless, waving
his small fat arms about, grabbing at the air or at his father’s
hair.
As Fred prepares to go to Joe’s rescue there is a
movement in the crowd. Joe steps back to let one of the caterer’s
men pass, and Jakie’s clutching baby hand finds a silver vase full
of tall white iris and candy-hued freesia. Fred waves, shouts a
warning, but this serves only to startle Joe and alert the other
guests, many of whom glance up in time to see the vase totter, tip,
and fall, sending a torrent of water and foliage over the famous
drama critic. As in a thunderstorm, the associated sound effects
follow a second or two later: loud curses, shocked exclamations,
and infantile howling.
“I’m really sorry about the Vogelers’ baby,” Fred
says to Rosemary as she closes the door behind her last
guests.
“Sorry? Darling, it was wonderful. It made my
party.” Rosemary’s elaborately piled hairdo has slipped from its
moorings, her lipstick has been kissed away by departing friends,
and there is a smudge of mascara below her left eye. Fred finds it
sentimentally piquant, like the symbolic tear drawn on the cheek of
a mime.
“Oh, the expression on Oswald’s face!” A ripple of
laughter. “The way his nasty shiny red hair came unstuck from the
crown of his head and hung down in strings; of course one always
suspected he must be combing it forward into those silly bangs to
disguise a bald patch. And there’s no damage done at all, really.”
Rosemary surveys the drawing-room. The caterers have removed all
the glasses and china, and rearranged the furniture; nothing
remains of the party but an irregular damp patch on the pale-beige
carpet and a few scattered flower petals. “Perfect.” She sinks onto
a low cream-colored sofa heaped with silk tapestry cushions.
“I thought you were furious.” Fred laughs too,
recalling Rosemary’s startled outcry, her repeated loud apologies
and expressions of shock and concern, her demand that he fetch more
and more towels to wipe Oswald off—But of course, she’s an
actress.
“Darling, never for a moment.” She rests her
tumbled pale-gold floss of hair against the back of the sofa and
holds out her arms. “Ahh. That’s lovely.”
“Lovely,” Fred repeats. A wave of euphoria lifts
him. He has never, he thinks, been happier than he is at this
moment.
“Really, darling.” Rosemary disengages herself from
a second long kiss. “It was one of the nicest moments of my life.
When I think of what Oswald said when I was in As You Like
It—that was years ago, of course, but I still positively
shudder whenever I remember it. And the awful things he’s written
about poor old Lou over the years. And even Daphne, if you can
imagine. He was so beastly clever about her being too old for
romantic parts once that she almost left the stage. It was
wonderful for all of us to see him looking so ridiculous.” She
begins to laugh again. “And what a silly vulgar fuss he made, far
worse than the baby.” Another freshet of giggles. “And the best
thing was, almost everyone saw it.”
“Yeh, they sure did.” The commotion caused by
Rosemary’s solicitude takes on another meaning. “You took care of
that.” Fred runs his hands down his love’s back, feeling the deep
lace border of her chemise below the gauzy dress, the rounded
convexities below that, marveling again that anyone so slight,
soft, and silky could have so much purpose and will. In a few
moments, he decides, he will get up and lower the lights.
“Well, naturally,” Rosemary agrees. She smiles
slyly, charmingly. “But I had help. What a wonderful baby! But you
mustn’t invite it again, darling, once is enough.”
“I didn’t invite the baby. I told Joe and Debby not
to bring him. Honestly.”
“I believe you. Honestly.” Rosemary mimics Fred’s
intonation, then gives him a butterfly kiss. “One can’t trust these
hippies, they’ll do anything.”
Not wanting to break the mood, Fred refrains from
explaining that the Vogelers are not hippies. He kisses Rosemary;
she laughs softly and presses him closer. “Or say anything,” she
adds; a little puckered frown appears between the feathery golden
arches of her brows. “Your friend Joe, for instance”—her intonation
subtly but definitely conveys that Joe is not and never will be her
friend—”your friend Joe says that you’re going back to the States
next month. I told him he was quite mistaken, that you’ll be here
till the autumn at least.”
“I’m afraid he’s right,” Fred says reluctantly.
“I’ve got to start teaching summer school at Corinth June
twenty-fourth. I told you about that,” he adds, uncomfortably aware
that he hasn’t mentioned it lately, or even wanted to think about
it.
“Oh, nonsense,” Rosemary purrs. “You never said a
word. Anyhow, you can’t leave then, we’ve got far too many lovely
things to do. There’s Michael’s play opening, and I’m getting
tickets for Glyndebourne. And then in July we start shooting the
outdoor scenes for next season’s Tallyho Castle in
Ireland—you’ll adore that. We always have such a good time: we stay
at this perfectly delicious inn run by two of the most amusing old
characters. They do marvelous meals: fresh salmon sometimes, and
real Irish soda bread and scones. And of course it usually rains
half the time, and then we’re free all day long.”
“It sounds great,” Fred says. “I wish I could come.
But if I canceled out of summer school they’d be really
pissed.”
“Who cares?” Rosemary ruffles his hair. “Let them
rage.”
“I can’t. Everyone in the department would think I
was irresponsible. It’d count against me in the tenure vote, I know
it would.”
“Oh, darling.” Rosemary’s voice softens. “You’re
worrying about nothing. That’s not the way it goes in the world. If
you’re good, they’ll always want you. Look at Daphne: she’s
absolutely impossible in so many ways, but directors are still
falling all over themselves to cast her.”
“It’s not like that in academia,” Fred says. “Not
in America, anyway. And anyhow, I’m not a star.”
Rosemary does not contradict him. Instead she sits
up away from Fred, with her fair, fine hair tumbling over her face.
“You’re not really going back to the States next month,” she says,
with a half lazy, half threatening whispery intonation like the
sound of his grandfather stropping a razor.
“I have to. But it’s not because I want—”
“You’re tired of me.”
“No, never—”
“You’ve been planning to leave me all along.” The
blade is almost sharp now.
“No! Well, yeh, but I told you—”
“It was only an act with you, the entire time.” Her
voice slashes at him.
“No—”
“Everything you’ve said to me, all those pretty
speeches—” A half sob.
“No! I love you, oh, Jesus, Rosemary—” Fred pulls
her back to him with force. “Don’t talk like that.” He rocks her
against him, feeling again how soft she is, how feathery and
fragile.
“Then you mustn’t frighten me.”
“No, no,” he says, kissing her face and neck
through the light, fallen curls.
“And you’re not really going away next month, are
you?” she whispers presently. “Are you?”
“I don’t know,” Fred whispers back, wondering what
the hell he can possibly tell his department if he doesn’t.
Rosemary’s crinkled pale-green silk dress has been pushed down over
her creamy shoulders; his hands are on her naked breasts. “Oh,
darling—”
But she twists sideways, wrenches away. “You think
I’m a little fool, don’t you,” she says, her voice shaking in a way
Fred has never heard before. “You think I’m a—what is it you said
of your cousin, an easy pushover.”
“No—”
“And when you walk out on me next month and go back
to America, you think that will be easy too.”
“Jesus God. I don’t want to go back to America. But
anyhow, it’s not forever. Next summer—” Fred reaches for Rosemary
again, but as he does she stands up abruptly, causing him to lose
his balance and flop across the white silky cushions of the
sofa.
“Very well,” she says, in a tremulous version of
what Edwin Francis calls “her Lady Emma voice.” Fred has heard this
voice before, but not often, and only directed to recalcitrant taxi
drivers or waiters. “In that case I’m afraid I must ask you to
leave my house now.” She walks gracefully to the front door, and
opens it.
“Rosemary, wait.” Fred hastens after her.
“Out.” Though she speaks through a tangled curtain
of pale hair, and with one lovely breast still half exposed, her
tone is chilly and formal. “Out, please.” She points the way at a
downward angle, as if speaking to a dog or cat.
Years of training in good manners now work to
Fred’s disadvantage. Without consciously willing it, he steps
across the threshold.
“Listen to me a moment, damn it—” he begins, but
she slams the door on him.
“Wait! This is crazy, Rosemary,” he shouts at the
glossy lavender paint, the brass dolphin knocker. “I love you, you
know that. I’ve never been so happy in my life . . .
Hey, Rosemary. Rosemary!” There is no answer.