4
Despair is all folly;
Hence, melancholy,
Fortune attends you while youth is in
flower.
John Gay, Polly
IN the hard-lit, almost empty lobby of a small theater
in Hammersmith Fred Turner is waiting for Rosemary Radley, who is
late as usual. Each time the doors fling open and let in some
meaningless person and a gust of damp March evening, he sighs, like
a gardener who sees his flowers blowing away in a storm; for each
minute that passes is one less alone with her.
Maybe Rosemary won’t come at all—that has happened
more than once before, though not lately, and still wouldn’t
surprise Fred. What still surprises him is that he should be here
in this theater waiting for her, and in this mood of high-charged
expectation. A month ago all of London for him was like the empty
county fairgrounds outside his home town on some cold evening—a
sour, dim expanse of cropped stubble and stones. Now, because of
Rosemary Radley, it has been transformed into a kind of circus of
light; and Fred, as if he were a small child again, stands
wide-eyed just within the entrance of the main tent, wondering how
he came there and what to do with the sparkling pink spindle of
cotton candy he holds in his hand.
Rationally, of course, his being there can be
explained as a result of the interest in eighteenth-century drama
that brought him to London in the first place, and later gave him
something to talk to Rosemary about. (As it turns out, she is
remarkably knowledgeable about theatrical history and stage
tradition, and has herself appeared in The Beggar’s Opera in
repertory.) More fancifully his presence can be explained as the
reward of virtue—specifically of the eighteenth-century virtues of
civility and boldness.
It was civility, for instance, that made Fred stay
on at Professor Virginia Miner’s party last month after he had
eaten and drunk as much as seemed polite, though nobody he had met
interested him or seemed interested in him. As a result he was
still there when Rosemary Radley arrived, fashionably and
characteristically late.
He saw her first standing near the entrance beside
a pot of pink hyacinths: like them in full bloom, and delicately
pretty with what he recognized as a typical English prettiness. She
had the sort of looks celebrated in eighteenth-century painting:
the round face, roguish eye, small pouting mouth, dimpled chin,
creamy-white skin flushed with pink, and tumbling flaxen curls. As
soon as he could, Fred crossed the room to observe this phenomenon
at closer range, and by persistently standing alongside it
eventually managed to be introduced to “Lady Rosemary Radley”
(though not by Professor Miner, who knows as Fred now does too that
it is not done to use the title socially—just as one wouldn’t
properly introduce someone as Mr. or Miss).
“Oh, how do you do.” Fred, who had never met a
member of the British aristocracy, gazed at Rosemary with what he
now realizes must have appeared a rude intensity—though, as
Rosemary said later, she’s used to being stared at; after all she’s
an actress. He felt like some traveler who for years has read-of
the existence of snow leopards or poltergeists, but never expected
to be this near to one.
“An American! I do love Americans,” Rosemary
exclaimed, with the light amused laugh that he was presently to
know so well.
“I’m glad to hear that,” Fred replied, a little too
late, for already she had turned to greet someone else. For the
rest of the party he hovered near her, sometimes trying to claim
her attention, more often just gazing and listening with the same
kind of baffled fascination he felt last month at the RSC
production of Two Gentlemen of Verona.
It was only after he was back in his cold empty
flat that Fred realized he wanted very much to see Rosemary Radley
again, whereas he did not at all want to see another performance of
Two Gentlemen of Verona; and realized simultaneously that he
had no means or encouragement to do so. True, Rosemary Radley had
been briefly charming to him; but she had been charming to
everyone. She had asked him where he was living; that was a good
sign, he had thought, not having yet learnt that in England such
inquiries don’t precede or hint at an invitation, but rather serve
to determine social class; they are the equivalent of the American
question “What do you do?”
But where was Rosemary Radley living? Her name
wasn’t in the phone book, and phoning to ask Vinnie Miner
point-blank would be awkward and probably unproductive; if someone
has an unlisted number, their friends are probably expected not to
give it out. Fred felt balked and depressed. Then he remembered
that Rosemary had said she was going tomorrow to the preview of a
new play; she had even suggested that he (and, it must be admitted,
everyone else who was listening at the time) should see this
play.
Because of his financial circumstances Fred had
decided not to see any contemporary theater while he was in London.
Now he broke this resolution, replacing his supper with a piece of
stale bread and a can of chicken noodle soup in order to stay
within his budget; his paychecks from Corinth had begun to clear,
but when transformed into pounds they were pathetically small. At
this point he did not think of himself as romantically interested
in Rosemary Radley. The pursuit of her acquaintance appeared to him
only as a distraction from his gloom, or at the best as a
challenge, undertaken in the same spirit that makes other Americans
expend energy and ingenuity to view some art collection or local
ceremony that is out of bounds to most tourists.
Though Fred got to the theater early and waited by
the entrance until the last possible moment before bounding up the
stairs to his balcony seat, Rosemary Radley didn’t appear. He
watched the play—a witty highbrow farce—distractedly, feeling
stupid, desolate, and hungry. But as he descended the stairs during
intermission, restless rather than hopeful, he saw Rosemary below
him in the lobby. She was dressed more elaborately than she had
been the day before: her pale-gold hair piled high, her creamy
rounded breasts half exposed, nestled in pale-green silky ruffles
like some exotic fruit in a Mayfair greengrocer’s. As Fred looked
down at her she suddenly seemed not only aristocratic and
authentically English, but radiantly sexual and desirable.
As might have been expected, Rosemary wasn’t alone,
but surrounded by friends—among whom was the playwright himself, a
tall elegant man in a rumpled trenchcoat. For the first but not the
last time it occurred to Fred that Lady Rosemary Radley probably
had many famous and/or titled admirers, and that his chances were
therefore slim. Another man might have despaired and retreated to
the balcony. But Fred’s romantic history had made him an optimist;
loneliness and gloom made him bold. Hell, why not make the effort?
What had he to lose?
As it turned out, the courtship of Rosemary Radley
demanded not only boldness but stubborn persistence of a sort new
to Fred. In the past, girls and women had more or less fallen into
his lap, sometimes even literally—bouncing onto his knees with
giggles and squeals at parties or in the back of cars. That had
been pleasant and convenient, but not very exciting. Now he knew
for the first time the joys of the chase; he breathed the heady
animal scent of the hotly pursued quarry. Though always charming,
Rosemary was completely undependable. Often she would arrive half
an hour or more late, or would ring up to explain that she had to
meet him at some other, usually inconvenient time; must bring along
a friend; or simply couldn’t manage to come at all. Her eager,
breathless apologies, her murmurs of regret and distress, always
seemed genuine—but of course she was an actress. Money was another
problem: Fred couldn’t afford to take Rosemary to expensive
restaurants or to buy her the flowers that she loved. He did both
these things, greatly to the detriment of his bank account; but he
can’t keep doing them much longer if he wants to eat.
Weeks passed in this way without his making any
significant progress. Rosemary had to be courted in the
old-fashioned manner, and over a length of time that most of Fred’s
friends back home would have found irrational. Roberto Frank, for
instance, would have roared with disbelief if he knew that it had
taken Fred nearly two weeks to get to first base with Rosemary and
that after over a month he still hasn’t scored. Yeh, well, he isn’t
in Convers playing sandlot baseball now, Fred says to the imaginary
grinning figure of Roberto. This is England; this is the real
thing.
Though he was often frustrated, Fred didn’t become
discouraged; instead the principle of cognitive dissonance began to
operate: the very difficulty of the undertaking ensured its value.
Since he had gone through so much for Rosemary Radley, she must be
worth the effort; his feelings must be serious. And indeed, the
more he saw of her the more entrancing, the more attractive she
seemed.
Part of Rosemary’s attraction, Fred realizes, is
her being in every way the opposite of his wife. She is small,
soft, and fair; Roo large, sturdy, and dark. She is sophisticated,
witty; Roo—relatively—naive and serious, even a little humorless by
London standards. In manner and speech Rosemary is graceful,
melodious; Roo by comparison clumsy and loud—in fact, coarse. Just
as, compared with England, America is large, naive, noisy, crude,
etc.
As he persisted in the chase, and slowly began to
gain on his quarry, other national—and possibly class—differences
appeared. Fred’s courtship of Roo could hardly be called a pursuit,
since she was galloping just as fast in his direction. They circled
each other, snuffling; then rushed together just as the horses they
had ridden that first memorable afternoon might have done. What had
happened in the abandoned orchard on the hill wasn’t a seduction,
it was a collision of two strong, sweaty, eager young bodies,
rolling and panting in the long grass and weeds.
The images Rosemary suggests are not animal but
floral. Recalling their first meeting, Fred imagines her as a pot
of hyacinths, or some other more exotic flowering plant: fragile,
fine-leaved, of some species that quivers and folds up tight at any
clumsy touch or cold breeze, but if tended gently and patiently,
opens at last into full glorious bloom. And in fact, only two days
ago, after six weeks of trial and error, Fred’s efforts were almost
wholly rewarded: the last soft, creamy, many-layered pink-and-white
petals unfurled, revealing the delicate calyx. Tonight, if all goes
well, he will have his desire.
As he paces impatiently in the theater lobby,
thinking of Rosemary and of Roo, Fred understands for the first
time the power of what at Yale is referred to as retrospective
influence. Just as Wordsworth forever altered our reading of
Milton, so Rosemary Radley has altered his reading of Ruth March.
In his mind he sees Rosemary standing on a height that is probably
the city of London. In one hand she holds a powerful arc lamp of
the sort used in the theater, and from it a cone of white light
streams back across time and space three years and more to Corinth,
New York.
In this light, Fred’s memory of Roo under the apple
trees, with the imprint of twigs on her sweaty brown back and butt
and bits of dried grass in her thick untidy chestnut hair, seems
crudely staged, garishly colored, hardly civilized. Roo’s rapid and
enthusiastic sexual surrender—which he once believed a warranty of
passion and sincerity—seems unfeminine, almost uncouth. Compared
with Rosemary’s delicate lingering butterfly kisses, Roo’s embraces
had a greedy animal urgency that should, Fred thinks now, have
warned him of her lack of control, of the exhibition—to make a sour
pun—that was to come.
Before Fred had known Roo a fortnight she had not
only made love with him many times but had lost all sense of
modesty—if in fact she ever had any. She told him everything she
thought or felt—including details of previous love affairs he could
have done without. She showed him everything: from the first she
slept naked beside him, or when it was very cold in a sexless
red-flannel nightshirt that tended to bunch up under her arms. She
walked about her (later their) Collegetown apartment naked at all
times of day, not always remembering to lower the blinds. In his
presence she blew her nose, picked her teeth, cut her toenails,
washed her cunt, and even, if she was in the midst of an
interesting conversation (and to Roo most conversations were
interesting) used the toilet. Because he was in love with her, Fred
had repressed his embarrassment, even denigrated it. He had defined
himself as an uptight preppie, and Roo’s behavior as natural and
free.
For Rosemary, on the other hand, to yield sexually
is not to give up her privacy. Instinctively she surrounds herself
with the intimate mystery that preserves romance. She prefers
dimmed lights: two tall white candles on the dressing table, or a
silk-shaded lamp. She bathes and dresses alone; Fred has never yet
seen her completely naked. Psychologically too she doesn’t
overexpose herself: she is silent about her own history and doesn’t
demand to learn Fred’s. It is only from a phrase dropped here and
there that he guesses, for instance, that Rosemary’s childhood,
though luxurious, was unhappy and disrupted as the result of her
parents’ frequent changes of partners and residences.
Now and then, it’s true, Rosemary carries a good
thing too far. Though he doesn’t want to invade her physical
reserve or her reticence about the past, Fred wishes he could see
further into her mind. She is whimsical, impulsive, contradictory:
when he tries to speak to her about something serious, he often
feels—or is made to feel—like some intrusive insect trying to
burrow its way into a prize hothouse rose and finally giving up,
dizzied by fragrance and baffled by the continual flurry of pale
petals.
It is nearly seven o’clock now. The lobby has
filled with people and is beginning to empty in the direction of
the auditorium. Fred has been waiting for forty minutes, and
Rosemary still isn’t here. He is also very hungry; but even if she
does arrive there won’t be time for the sandwiches they had planned
to have before the play.
He has almost given up when a taxi door bursts open
and Rosemary comes running, almost flying, into the theater, her
pink wool cape blowing out behind her like some Rococo angel’s
wings.
“Darling!” Out of breath—or perhaps only affecting
to be so?—she puts a soft white hand on his arm and looks up from
under feathery lashes. “You’ve got to forgive me, the taxi simply
wouldn’t come.”
“Okay, I forgive you.” Fred smiles down at her,
though not as readily as usual.
“Are you absolutely starving?”
“Not quite.”
“Don’t be cross. I’ve arranged for us to eat after
the play with Erin. He knows a very good place near here, and I’ll
buy you a lovely dinner to make up . . . Oh, Nadia!
I didn’t know you were back; how was loony Los Angeles?”
“You mustn’t do that,” Fred says; but his words are
lost. The resolution remains, however. He doesn’t want to waste his
time alone with Rosemary sitting in a restaurant with some actor
from the play they are about to see. Besides, she’s bought him too
many expensive meals lately. When he protests she gives different
excuses: the sale of a TV play she’s been in to Australia, a
favorable interview in some women’s magazine, whatever.
“Rosemary, I want to say something,” he begins as
soon as they are alone and making their way to their seats.
“Yes, darling . . .” She stops to
wave and smile brilliantly at someone across the theater.
“I don’t want you to take me to dinner
tonight.”
“Oh, Freddy.” She looks up at him, widening her
fringed azure eyes. “You’re cross because I was so late, but I
absolutely couldn’t help it, that wretched taxi service—”
“No, I’m not, I just—” An usher interrupts them;
Fred buys two programs at tenpence each. Big spender, he thinks
sourly, recalling that Rosemary has been given—or paid for?—their
tickets.
“What it is,” he begins again as soon as they are
seated, “is that I just don’t want you to buy me dinner. It’s not
right.”
“Oh, don’t be silly: I already promised.”
Rosemary’s eyes are focused past him, sweeping the rows for
familiar faces. “Oh look, there’s Mimi, but who can that possibly
be with her?”
“No. It bothers me.” Fred plows ahead. “I mean,
what will Erin think? He’ll think I’m some kind of gigolo.”
“Of course he won’t, darling.” Rosemary focuses on
Fred again. “It’s not like that in the theater. When you’re in work
you treat. Everyone knows that.”
“Well, I’m not in the theater. So I’d like to pay
for myself from now on.” Fred remembers that he has with him only
eight pounds and some change, which according to his budget has to
last till the end of this week. Soon he will be sitting, as he has
often lately sat, behind a menu whose size is as inflated as its
prices, searching for the cheapest item (usually a bowl of coarse
raw greens of some kind), declaring falsely that he had a big lunch
and isn’t all that hungry. “What I’d really like,” he goes on,
leaning toward Rosemary to gain her attention, which is fluttering
off again, “is for us to go somewhere tonight that I can afford,
and then I can take you. I bet there must be some inexpensive
places around here—”
“Oh yes, there’s lots of nasty cheap restaurants in
Hammersmith,” Rosemary says. “And I’ve been to most of them. When
Mum broke her ankle, and Daddy stopped my allowance, trying to
starve me into leaving the rep and coming home to run the house,
because he was too lazy to bother, I found out all about that. I’ve
eaten all the fish fingers and macaroni cheese I ever want to eat
in my life, darling.”
“All the same. I don’t think it’s fair that you
should pay for me.”
“But you think it’s fair that I should have to eat
in some disgusting caff—”
“I didn’t say that I wanted to go to a disgusting
caff—”
“—where we’ll probably both be poisoned.”
Rosemary’s exquisite mouth sets in a sweet-pea pout. Then, as the
house lights soften, her pout softens into a smile. “Besides, you
know we can’t do that to Erin, he’d think we were out of our minds,
or that we absolutely detested his performance and wanted to punish
him for it.” She gives a whispery giggle.
Fred doesn’t argue further, but for the rest of the
evening he continues to feel uncomfortable: during the play and
during the dinner that follows, where he orders a chef’s salad and
also consumes four rolls, a third of Nadia’s beef bourguignonne,
and half of Rosemary’s cherry cheesecake (“Don’t be silly, love, I
simply can’t finish it”). What is he doing eating off other
people’s plates in this expensive restaurant, in this expensive
company?
“You’re still cross,” Rosemary says plaintively in
the taxi afterward. “I can tell. You haven’t forgiven me for being
so frightfully late tonight.”
“No I’m not; yes I have,” he protests.
“Really?” She leans toward him, resting her
spun-gold curls against his shoulder.
“I always forgive you.” Fred eases his arm around
Rosemary; how soft and yielding she is under the folds of wool!
“I’m in love with you,” he says, imagining how he will soon
demonstrate this.
“Oh—love,” she murmurs indulgently but rather
dismissively, as if reminded of some childhood pastime: skipping
rope, say, or hide-and-seek.
“Don’t you believe me?”
“Yes.” She raises her head slightly. “I suppose I
do.”
“And? But?”
“And I love you . . . But it’s not
that simple, you know.” Rosemary sighs. “When you’re my age—”
Fred sighs too, though silently. That he is just
twenty-nine and Rosemary thirty-seven—though she hardly looks
thirty—is in his opinion unimportant—in the context of their
relationship, even meaningless. Of course he knows that women,
perhaps especially actresses, worry about their age; but in
Rosemary’s case it’s ridiculous. She is beautiful and he loves her;
it’s not as if they were planning to get married and raise a
family, for Christ’s sake. “What difference does that make?” he
asks aloud.
Fred has been raised in an academic environment; he
assumes that even difficult questions must be answered. Rosemary,
after years in the theater and long experience of prying and
hostile interviewers, assumes the reverse. Instead of replying, she
yawns, covering the pink flower of her mouth with one fluttering
hand. “Heavens, I’m exhausted! Classical drama does that to me
sometimes. Is it dreadfully late?”
“No; half past eleven.” One possible cause of, or
excuse for Rosemary’s constant tardiness is her refusal to wear a
watch (“I can’t bear the idea that Time has me by the wrist, like
some awful cross old governess”).
“Oh horrors, darling. I think I’d better go
straight to bed.”
“Don’t do that,” Fred says, grasping her more
firmly. “At least, not alone.”
“I’m afraid I must.” She sighs deeply, as if under
some heavy invisible compulsion.
“But I was hoping—” Fred puts a hand on that part
of the angel-wing cape that covers Rosemary’s breast.
“Now, love, don’t be tiresome. I’ll ring you
tomorrow.”
So, quite casually, Rosemary canceled what was to
have been the climax of their evening together. For the next
eighteen hours Fred was in a bad state of mind. He called—or, in
the British phrase, “rang”—several times, starting at ten
A.M., but couldn’t get through her
answering service. Either she was out, or she was angry with him.
He tried to work, but—as often lately—not with any success; he
needed a book that was in the BM, but didn’t want to leave the
phone.
Finally, about six, Rosemary rang back. She was as
affectionate as ever, “simply longing” to see him. She denied she’d
been cross; wouldn’t even discuss it; welcomed him passionately at
her front door an hour later.
Shadowy spring twilight in the library of an
English country house often featured in magazines and color
supplements, famous both for its architectural and decorative
beauty and for the architectural and decorative beauty of its
mistress, Penelope (Posy) Billings, and the financial acumen of her
husband Sir James (Jimbo). The crimson velvet brocaded walls,
buttery buttoned leather and mahogany sofas, gilt bindings, glass
cases of curios, and antique varnished globes of the earth and
heavens create a slightly campy late-Victorian effect. This is
relieved by an orderly profusion of fresh spring flowers, and a
table on which are arranged the latest papers and magazines,
prominence being given to those of conservative views and to last
month’s Harper’s/Queen, which includes a photograph of Lady
Billings in her kitchen and her original recipe for
cream-of-watercress-and-avocado soup, as part of a series on
“Country-House Cuisine.”
On the walls are Victorian paintings in thickly
flounced gold frames: two portraits of Posy’s distinguished
military ancestors and one of a mournful prize sheep who strongly
resembles George Eliot. All three pictures have been in her family
for over a century. The Leighton above the marble chimneypiece, on
the other hand, was bought for Posy by Jimbo as a wedding present
just before prices skyrocketed, on a tip from one of her best
friends—the fashionable decorator, Nadia Phillips. It shows a
smooth-limbed statuesque Victorian blonde, much resembling Posy
Billings and with the same tumbling masses of brassy hair. This
figure is somewhat anachronistically half clad in pink and lavender
draperies and is making eyes at a caged bird on a sun-drenched,
petal-strewn marble terrace.
Now, six years later, Posy is beginning to be tired
of the Leighton, the sheep, the curios, and the ancestors. She’d
rather like to send them to the attics and put up something more
contemporary. Indeed, she has been wondering lately if it wouldn’t
be rather amusing to have the library redone, with Nadia Phillips’
help, in the style of the 1930s, with lots of deep sexy white
sofas, stainless steel and lacquer tables, engraved mirrors, and
funny art-deco cushions and lamps and vases.
At the moment Posy is not in the library, but
having tea in the nursery with her two small daughters and the
au pair. The only present occupant of the room is Fred
Turner, who would be distressed to learn that its Victorian decor
is doomed. As he stands between floor-length curtains of
deep-fringed crimson plush, looking out over the lawn—where there
is still light enough to see a host of airy daffodils crowding the
circular flower bed beyond the gravel drive—he feels both euphoric
and slightly unreal. What is he doing here in this perfect
Victorian country house, in this misty English spring, instead of a
century later in upstate New York where early April is still gray
frozen winter? It’s as if, by some supernatural slippage between
life and art, he has got into a Henry James novel like the one he
watched on television two months ago with Joe and Debby Vogeler.
How far away they and their carping complaints about London seem
now! How secondhand and incomplete their view of England has turned
out to be—as secondhand and incomplete as some TV adaptation of a
classic novel.
In the last few weeks Fred has entered a world he
had before only read of: a world of crowded, electric first nights,
leisurely highbrow Sunday lunches in Hampstead and Holland Park;
elegant international dinner parties in Connaught Square and
Chester Row. He has been backstage at the BBC studios in Ealing,
and at the offices of the Sunday Times, and has met a score
of people who were once only names in magazines or on the syllabi
of college courses. What is more amazing, some of these people now
seem to consider him a friend, or at least a good acquaintance:
they remember that he is writing on John Gay and inquire about the
progress of his research; they speak to him in a casually intimate
manner about their troubles with reviewers or indigestion. (Others,
it’s true, forget his name from one party to the next—which is
maybe to be expected.)
When he first started seeing Rosemary, Fred
wondered why she knew so many celebrities. The answer turns out to
be that she herself is a sort of celebrity, though he had never
heard of her. As one of the stars of Tallyho Castle, a
popular comedy-drama series about upper-class country life, she is
familiar by sight to millions of British viewers, some of whom
occasionally approach her in shops and restaurants or at the
theater. (“Excuse me, but aren’t you Lady Emma Tally? Oh, I really
do enjoy that program so much, and you’re one of my very favorite
characters!”) As a result, she is better known by sight than some
of her more famous but nontheatrical friends.
To Rosemary, Fred realizes now, her popular fame is
both welcome and unsatisfying. He has seen how she begins to
sparkle and glow when a fan appears, as if some inner lamp had been
turned up to 200 watts. He has also heard her say, more than once,
that she is tired to death of Lady Emma and of all the other nice
ladies she has portrayed on television. What she really wants, she
has confided to him, is to act “the great classic parts”—Hedda
Gabler, Blanche DuBois, Lady Macbeth—in the theater before she is
too old. “I could do them, Freddy, I know I could do them,” she had
insisted. “I know what it is to feel murderous, coarse, full of
hate.” (If she does, Fred thinks, it’s only by a magnificent leap
of intuition.) “All that’s in me, Freddy, it is. You don’t believe
me,” she added, turning to look directly at him.
Holding her close, he smiled, then shook his
head.
“You don’t think I could act those parts.” A frown
had appeared between her fair arched brows, as if some invisible
evil spirit were cruelly pinching the skin.
“No, I do. Of course I do,” Fred assured her. “I
know you’re good, everyone says so. I’m sure you could do anything
you liked.”
But no director has ever been willing to cast
Rosemary in such roles. When she is invited to appear on the
stage—less often than she would like—it is always in light comedy:
Shaw or Wilde or Sheridan or Ayckbourn.
The problem is, as Rosemary’s friend Edwin Francis
explained to Fred, that she just doesn’t look like a tragedy queen.
Her voice is too high and sweet, and she doesn’t project that kind
of dark energy. “Can you see Rosemary as Lady Macbeth? Now really:
‘Infirm of purpoth! Give me the daggerth.’” Edwin imitated
Rosemary’s voice, with the slight charming lisp that she affects as
Lady Emma. “Nobody would believe for a moment that she’d been
involved in a murder; they’d think she wanted to cut the cake at a
charity fête.”
Though he doesn’t like the way Edwin sometimes
makes fun of Rosemary, Fred has to admit that he can’t imagine her
as Lady Macbeth, or as full of coarse murderous hate, even for
dramatic purposes. Her wish to play violent and tragic parts is one
of the things about her that still puzzles him.
Something else he would like to understand about
Rosemary is why her pretty house in Chelsea is always such a
goddamn mess. At first glance the long double sitting room looks
very elegant, though a little faded. But soon, especially in the
daytime, you notice that the bay windows are smeared and
fly-specked, the sills grainy with soot, the gilt moldings of the
pictures chipped, the striped gray satin upholstery blotched and
worn, the mahogany table-tops branded with rings and burns.
Everywhere there are rumpled newspapers, sticky glasses, muddied
coffee cups, full ashtrays, empty cigarette packages, and discarded
clothing. Below in the kitchen and in the bedroom upstairs it is
worse: the closets are jammed with rubbish, and the bathrooms not
always clean. How Rosemary can emerge from all that disorder
looking so fresh and beautiful is a mystery—and how she can stand
to live in it another one.
Of course Rosemary probably doesn’t know how to do
housework, Fred thinks, and he wouldn’t want her to have to learn.
But she could certainly hire somebody. Her friends agree with him.
What she needs, Posy Billings explained earlier this afternoon when
she was showing Fred around her own perfectly kept grounds, is a
“daily”—some strong reliable woman who will come in every morning
to clean and shop and do the laundry and make lunch, so that
Rosemary won’t have to go out to a restaurant. If only Fred could
persuade her to hire someone like that—Posy knows of a very
reliable agency in London—he would be doing a tremendous good
deed.
“Okay,” Fred said as they stood in front of a long
perennial border covered by a mulch of clean shredded bark, from
which neat clumps of crocus and grape hyacinths emerged. “Okay,
I’ll try.”
It won’t be easy, though, he thinks now, imagining
Rosemary as he had left her a quarter of an hour ago, lying
upstairs in what Posy calls the Pink Room. Its oversize bed has a
carved and gilded headboard padded in flowered satin, and a
matching quilted spread is drawn up in loose folds to Rosemary’s
breasts. She is wearing a nightgown of delicate ivory silk with
semitransparent lace insets in the shape of butterflies scattered
over it; her white-gold hair falls in fine tendrils across
pale-pink scalloped sheets. The pink-silk-shaded bedside lamp casts
a blush over her creamy skin, and over the rococo furniture painted
in pink and silver, the French fashion plates on the walls, and the
silver vase of narcissus on the dressing-table. It also illuminates
a confusion of spilt powders and creams on this dressing-table and
a shipwreck of discarded clothes on the Aubusson carpet.
No, it won’t be easy to change Rosemary’s ways. She
hates talking about “boring practical things” and isn’t capable of
concentrating on any subject for long. She is—and for Fred it’s
part of her charm—a creature of sudden, random impulse. He sees her
as a rare beautiful lacy butterfly like those which decorate her
nightgown, fluttering and hovering, dancing near and then away,
difficult to catch hold of for more than a moment.
Her present withdrawal, however, is not
idiosyncratic. Going to bed when it isn’t bedtime—or at least
saying that you are going to bed—is, Fred has discovered, a
habitual and respectable social strategem among the British. To
declare fatigue without obvious cause isn’t, as in America, to
confess physical and/or emotional weakness. Instead, “having a bit
of a rest” or “lying down for a while” provides a polite excuse for
social withdrawal—one that is more effective here than it would be
at home, since even here married people usually have separate
bedrooms. And the English, at least those Fred has met lately, seem
to need and want more solitude than Americans do. Now, for
instance, at six in the evening, all Lady Billings’ other guests
are—as far as he knows—shut up alone in their rooms. After he left
Rosemary, Fred tried to stay in his, but restlessness and
claustrophobia brought him downstairs again. If it weren’t
drizzling and nearly dark, he would have gone out into the
gardens.
There are three weekend guests at Posy’s besides
Fred and Rosemary. One is Edwin Francis, the editor and critic, who
is almost effusively affectionate to Rosemary and Posy, but speaks
to Fred as if he were interviewing him on television, with a
pretense of respectful attention that often seems designed to
provoke humor at his expense. (“So it was generally known that Mr.
Reagan had appeared in a film in which his co-star was a
chimpanzee? Yet you say that many members of your college voted for
him. How do you explain this?” “Your current project then, I assume
it is much influenced by the French school of demolition, excuse
me, deconstruction.”)
Edwin has brought with him a very young man called
Nico, who according to Rosemary is his current “particular friend.”
Rosemary and Posy approve of Nico; they regard him as a great
improvement on Edwin’s previous particular friends, most of whom
Posy says she has “simply refused to have in the house.” Compared
with these persons Nico is well educated, fluent in English, and
“really quite presentable.” He is a Greek Cypriot: slight,
smooth-skinned, with abundant dark glossy curls and pronounced
artistic and political opinions. His ambition is to work in
British—or even better, American—television or cinema, eventually
as a director. At lunch today he expressed an interest in Fred’s
views that was evidently more sincere than Edwin’s, though less
disinterested. (“You have very original ideas on the cinema, Fred,
I think very exciting. I suppose that you know many people in the
American film industry, or in the American theater, perhaps, that
you have discussed these theories with? . . . No,
none at all? That is a pity. I would like so much sometime the
chance to talk with American film makers.”) Though Nico is still
polite to Fred, it is clear that he now regards him as
professionally useless.
The final houseguest is William Just, who is a sort
of cousin of Posy’s and is referred to by her and Rosemary as Just
William. In appearance he is middle-aged and nondescript, with
rumpled-looking tweedy clothes and an air of vague detachment. Just
William does something at the BBC and is unusually well informed on
current events; he also seems to be acquainted with everyone Posy,
Rosemary, Edwin, and even Nico know in London. His manner is mild
and self-effacing; Fred assumes he has been invited partly out of
family obligation (he is no longer married, and probably lonely)
and partly because he might be able to get Nico a job at the
BBC.
Fred finds Edwin and Nico interesting as types, and
William for his behind-the-scenes political knowledge. He is sorry,
though, that he won’t get to meet Posy’s husband, Jimbo Billings.
According to the newspapers, Billings is a shrewd and aggressive
character who deals in high-risk investments, and knows many world
leaders; a large, imposing-looking man (his photograph is prominent
on the sitting-room mantelpiece). At the moment, however, he is in
the Near East on business.
Nico is even more disappointed that he will not
meet Jimbo Billings. “Yes, I wish the chance to tell him many
things, what I think of his government, and of his policies,” he
said belligerently to Fred when they were all out for a walk after
lunch. “There is much that he could do for my country, for my
friends there, if he would.” But Posy’s husband has no connection
with the British government, Fred protested, he is only a
businessman. “Only, that is a lie,” Nico said, slashing at Posy’s
newly leafed box hedges with a willow switch he had broken off
beside the ornamental lake. “He has much influence, more than many
politicians here, believe me, but in my country he uses it for
evil.”
As the landscape outside darkens, Fred turns away
from the window and takes up one of the four daily newspapers that
since lunchtime have been refolded by some unseen hand and neatly
ranged on the polished mahogany table. Presently he is joined by
Edwin and Nico, and then by Posy, Just William, and Rosemary.
Drinks are served, followed by a five-course dinner (sorrel soup,
spring lamb, watercress salad, lemon fool, fruit and cheese) and
coffee in the long drawing-room. Among the topics discussed are the
Common Market, growing exotic bulbs indoors, the films and love
life of Werner Fassbinder, the novels and love life of Edna
O’Brien, various ways of cooking veal, a current mass murder case,
the financial and staffing difficulties of the TLS, and
hotels in Tortola and Crete. Fred tries to keep up his end of the
conversation, but without much success; he has never grown bulbs,
cooked veal, seen a film by Fassbinder, etc. He feels provincial
and out of it, though Posy and William try to help by asking him
about American customs of gardening and cooking and filmgoing. He
is glad when Posy proposes that they all stop gossiping and play
charades.
As it turns out, the British game of charades
differs from the one Fred knows—though each, it occurs to him, is
characteristic of its culture. In the American version every player
has to act for his team-mates some popular proverb, or the title of
a book, play, film, or song, provided by the opposite team; victory
goes to the side whose members collectively do this the fastest.
America, that is, rewards speed and individual achievement, and
encourages frantic attempts to communicate with compatriots who
literally or metaphorically don’t speak your language.
In the British version of charades—or at least in
Posy’s version—there is no premium on speed and there are no
winners. Each team chooses a single word and acts out its syllables
in turn, with spoken dialogue that must include the relevant
syllable. Though some trouble is taken to confuse the issue and
make guessing harder, the game mainly seems to be an excuse for
dressing up and behaving in ways that would otherwise be considered
silly or shocking. It thus combines verbal ingenuity, in-group
loyalty and cooperation, love of elaborate public performance, and
private childishness—all traits that Fred has begun to associate
with the British, or at least with Rosemary and her friends.
Before the charades can begin, nearly an hour is
spent choosing the words and rummaging about in closets and trunks
to outfit the players. Rosemary, Edwin, and Just William go first.
They seem to have chosen their word (which turns out to be
HORTICULTURE) partly for the opportunities
it gives Edwin to wear Posy’s clothes—which, since she is a large
woman and he a small man, fit pretty well. In the first scene
(WHORE) he and Rosemary appear as
streetwalkers, and William, with a cane and bowler, as their
drunken client. Edwin is comically horrifying in a red fright wig,
an orange-and-yellow flowered sundress stuffed with facial tissues,
and high-heeled gold sandals. Fred is nearly as startled by
Rosemary. She is not only vulgarly made up and loaded with costume
jewelry, but wearing the lace butterfly nightgown in which, just a
few hours ago . . . He wants to protest, but makes
himself laugh along with the rest; after all, it’s only a
game.
In the second scene (TIT)
Edwin is a milkmaid (sunbonnet, pink checked pinafore) while
Rosemary and William—with the help of a brown woolly blanket, two
bone drinking horns, and a pink rubber balloon filled with
water—represent the front and back halves of an uncooperative cow.
For CULTURE Edwin wears one of Posy’s tweed
suits, a tweed porkpie hat, horn-rimmed spectacles, and a string of
pearls. With his neat, rather handsome features and his well-padded
small frame he looks, Fred thinks, better and even more natural as
a fortyish matron. He obviously enjoys his part, in which he tries
to force a series of highbrow books and records on Rosemary and
William, who represent two sulky semi-punk schoolchildren.
After much laughter and applause and another round
of drinks, Posy, Nico, and Fred retire to the library to get into
costume for the first syllable of their word (CATASTROPHE). Nico and Fred, now in shirtsleeves, are
fitted with colorful sashes and black rubber boots (Posy calls them
“Wellies”) and breadknife daggers. They represent pirates and will
soon pretend to lash her (as a cabin boy) with an improvised
clothesline CAT o’nine tails.
“What’s that noise outside? It sounds like a car.”
In the white sailor-boy blouse she has just pulled on over her long
pleated red silk dress, Posy runs to the window and pushes aside
the heavy velvet curtain. “Oh, my God. It’s Jimbo. Quick, upstairs,
everybody—and don’t forget your proper clothes.” She flings open
the library doors and dashes across the hall to the drawing
room.
“William, it’s Jimbo, get upstairs as fast as you
can, he’s just putting the car away. All of you, come on.” Ignoring
their questions and exclamations, Posy herds her guests up the
crimson-carpeted staircase and along a hall lined with heavy
gilt-framed eighteenth-century portraits.
“Now,” she declares, checking to make sure that
none of them are visible from below through the banisters.
“William, dearest, you go straight out by the back stairs and down
to the boathouse, the key’s in the stone urn under the ivy. Look
out when you pass the stables, in case Jimbo’s still there.
Rosemary, and Edwin, oh Christ—” She takes in Rosemary’s naughty
schoolgirl outfit and Edwin’s dowager tweeds. “All right, both of
you; get dressed as fast as you can and then come down to the
drawing room. I’m counting on you to keep Jimbo occupied for at
least five minutes while I change the sheets and tidy up. Fred, and
Nico, you’ve got to help too, darlings, this is a crisis. I want
you to pack everything in William’s room into his bag, all his
clothes and books, every single thing you find. If you’re not sure
it’s his, put it in anyhow. Right, everyone? Let’s go.”
Fred hears a door opening below and steps in the
hall, then a weary, peremptory male voice. “Hallo? Is anybody still
up?”
“Jimbo!” Posy cries. She drags the sailorboy blouse
over her head, stuffs it into an antique oak chest, and runs down
the stairs. “Darling, how lovely! I didn’t expect you till
Monday.”
“I sent a cable this morning from Ankara.”
“It never came. Never mind, darling. Did you drive
all the way from Gatwick? You must be simply exhausted. Come into
the drawing room and I’ll fix you a lovely strong whisky. I’ve got
a few people here for the weekend, but most of them have gone to
bed. Rosemary’s still up, though, I think, and Edwin Francis. I’ll
go tell them you’re here in a moment, but first I want to know all
about—” Her words fade.
“Remarkable,” Edwin says sotto voce, shaking his
head under the tweed matron’s hat. “Did you ever see such natural
authority, such military decision, such a grasp of strategic
essentials? Hereditary, of course,” he adds. “The Army
blood . . . Poor Posy, really, all those
Empire-building genes wasted on this sad century. She should have
lived a hundred years ago—”
“Edwin, do go on, before Jimbo sees you like that,”
Rosemary whispers, giggling.
“—and been a man, of course. Very well. But I must
say, I hope Jimbo has the sense to take her into partnership as
soon as the babies are safely in school.”
“Okay, let’s get started,” Fred says to Nico a few
moments later, lifting William’s worn leather Gladstone bag onto
the bed. “I’ll do the closet, and you can empty the drawers.” He
opens the wardrobe door and begins sliding clothes off hangers.
“Lucky there isn’t much.”
But when he turns around with a load over his arm
Nico is still standing in the middle of the Turkey carpet. In his
open-necked white shirt and black rubber boots, with Posy’s red
fringed scarf knotted around his waist, he looks as if he were
playing pirates; his expression is theatrically stormy.
“Hey, let’s go,” Fred says.
“No,” Nico hisses through his teeth, in
character.
“No?”
“I am not a servant.” Nico’s voice is barely under
control. “I don’t pack the dirty clothes of people.”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake.” Fred rolls up some
suprisingly elegant maroon silk pajamas and stuffs them into the
bag. “Don’t be a wimp.”
Nico does not move. He looks insulted; probably he
has never heard of a wimp and thinks it is something unspeakable.
“Sorry,” Fred says. “Look, maybe you could just pile up those books
and papers, all right?”
“All right,” Nico says sullenly.
“What I don’t understand,” Fred goes on, trying to
ease the atmosphere in the room, “is why William has to get out of
the way so fast. I can understand that maybe Sir James Billings
wouldn’t want to meet a lot of strangers when he’s just got back
from Turkey late at night. But he must be used to William; after
all he’s Posy’s cousin.”
Nico snorts. “You are wrong, and also stupid,” he
says, slinging Royal Charles and Betrayal onto the
bed.
Fred decides not to notice the word stupid,
which Nico has no doubt used as a riposte for wimp. “But he
is her cousin; Posy said so when she introduced us before
lunch,” he says, starting to pack up William’s leather toilet
kit.
“Yes, her cousin, I suppose.” Nico’s tone is
scornful. “They are all cousins here. And also her lover.”
“Aw, come on.” Fred thinks of Posy, so blond and
queenly and tall, in her way as much the real thing as Rosemary. “I
can’t believe that.” He imagines Posy naked, a luscious full-bodied
late-Victorian nude, in sexual juxtaposition with the lanky, dim,
fiftyish William, the relevant part of whom is somehow represented
in his mind by the worn beaver shaving brush with dried white soap
on it that he has just stowed away.
“No? Why not?”
“Well, I mean, he’s too old. And he’s not all that
attractive either. I mean, hell, Posy’s a beautiful woman.”
“Who can calculate these things?” Nico tosses the
Times untidily beside the books. “It’s a matter of opinions.
Myself, I would not want to fuck with Lady Posy; you would not want
to fuck with Cousin William.”
“No,” Fred agrees vehemently, reminded that Nico,
in spite (or perhaps because) of his macho appearance, presumably
fucks regularly with Edwin Francis.
“Also, sex, it is not always a matter of only
desire, as you must know.” Nico allows a slight unpleasant pause.
“Cousin William is not wealthy or famous, but he has many
connections. With his help Posy is a feature in the magazines, on
the television. Soon she introduces for him six programs about
English gardens, for a nice payment. He does much for her.”
And if Cousin William would do as much for me, Nico
seems to be saying, I might fuck with him. Or even worse: Rosemary
is rich and famous, she does much for you. The conviction that Nico
is a sly, second-rate, opportunistic person, a blot on the
country-house scene, comes over Fred. “Maybe, but that doesn’t
prove—”
“Also you see he stays in the room next to Lady
Posy’s, the customary room of the husband.” With a mocking flourish
Nico pulls open a paneled oak door, exposing a vertical slice of
Posy’s blue-and-white sprigged and ruffled Laura Ashley
bedroom.
“So?” Fred says, concealing his fear that Nico is
right, but not his dislike.
“So convenient.” Nico smiles.
Fred does not smile. He goes on packing William’s
clothes, faster than before. Though most of them are clean, they
now feel disagreeable: the tightly rolled thin dark lisle socks,
the slippery starched shirts with the name of a Belgravia laundry
on the paper band. He does not like them; he does not like the
paneled room with its deep tapestry-cushioned chairs and window
seat, its distorting mullioned panes, its connecting door. An
impulse to walk away comes to him, but his training in manners is
strong, and he presses on.
“You’re saying that William had to get out of the
house fast because if Posy’s husband saw him here, he’d think they
were having an affair,” he says, trying to clarify it in his
mind.
“Not think.” Nico’s expression is condescending.
“He knows already that they fuck, since a long time.”
“Says who?”
“Edwin says it to me. They have an arrangement, he
says.”
“You mean like an open marriage.” Fred begins to
pull out the drawers below the wardrobe. They are empty and lined
with glazed paper in an overcomplicated and disagreeable red
paisley design.
“I don’t know what you call it,” says Nico. He has
given up all pretense of helping and is lounging on the window
seat. “Edwin says they well understand each other, and if Billings
does not have to meet Cousin William he is content, why not? He has
still the beautiful aristocratic wife, the pretty children, the
rich country house—”
“Yeh, but—”
“He also has his freedom, naturally. His own
amusements.”
“Oh, yeh? What amusements?”
“I don’t know.” Nico shrugs. “But Edwin says they
are expensive ones, and not very nice.”
Without wanting to, Fred starts trying to imagine
the sort of amusements that might be considered not very nice by
Edwin Francis, a homosexual who likes to dress up in his hostess’s
clothes; but he is interrupted.
“Well, how are you getting on?” Posy pauses in the
doorway with an armful of scalloped yellow sheets. She is as
beautiful and gracious as ever; but she looks different to Fred,
somehow fleshy and loose.
“Almost done.” He bundles the Times into
William’s bag and pulls the sides together.
Posy surveys the room, taking in Nico lazily prone
on the window seat. “Very good,” she says to Fred. “Now, could you
be a real sport, and take the bag down to the boathouse?”
“Yeh, sure.”
“I’ll show you the way; and then you can come back
and have a drink and meet Jimbo. But you musn’t keep him up late,
please, he’s had such a long trip. I know what; you might say you
have to turn in early so you can get up and jog before breakfast.
Jimbo will like that, he often runs himself; and it might not be a
bad idea if you were to arrange to meet him tomorrow and go jogging
together. Then we can make sure he doesn’t run in the wrong
direction.” Posy smiles at him again, then clicks it off. “And you.
Nico.” She gives him a chilly look. “I want you to go straight to
bed. Don’t even think of having a shower tonight, or there won’t be
enough hot water for Jimbo. You were in there for an hour this
afternoon as it is. And please don’t come down for breakfast;
Jimbo’s very grumpy at breakfast. I’ll send you up a tray.”
For a long moment Nico does not move. His handsome
features have darkened and distorted as Posy spoke and are now set
in an angry flush. But her aristocratic stare is too much for him;
he rises slowly and moves toward the door.
“Thank you,” she says, gracious again. “All right
now, Freddy darling, it’s this way.”
Posy leads him along the hall between two rows of
ancestors: plump-jawed self-satisfied countenances in heavy curled
wigs. The portraits are hung from near the ceiling in such a way
that they tilt outward from the top, creating an oppressive
effect.
“He’s such a nuisance sometimes, Nico,” she says.
“He’s got all sorts of silly ideas about politics, and I’m simply
not going to have him bothering poor Jimbo with them, especially
not at breakfast. You know how excitable these Mediterranean types
can be.” She opens the door to some back stairs, smiling at Fred,
inviting him into the company of non-Mediterranean types who are
not excitable and have no silly ideas. “So if you should see him
trying to sneak downstairs tomorrow morning, I hope you’ll be a
dear and head him off.”
“Well. I’ll try,” says Fred reluctantly.
“I knew I could count on you.” She stops at the
bottom of the stairs and smiles up from under her golden mane,
which from this angle looks almost too thick, too perfectly
curled—almost like a wig. Maybe it is a wig; maybe underneath all
that hair Posy Billings is bald or stubble-headed, as her
eighteenth-century ancestors along the corridor probably were under
their powdered headpieces.
“Here you are.” She swings open a door, admitting a
gust of cold, dark air. “Now there’s the way down to the lake,
where we were this afternoon, you remember?”
“I think so.”
“Very good.” As Edwin has remarked, there is an
authoritarian, even a military tone to Posy’s manner. “Here’s a
torch, but I don’t expect you’ll need it, it’s quite light out. You
can almost see the boathouse from here, just past those big pines.
And the rain’s cleared off nicely. A lovely night, really. Off you
go, now.”
Fred starts down the path. It doesn’t seem like a
lovely night to him. In the circle of light at his feet the gravel
is loose and wet; when he points the torch upward he can see the
two-hundred-year-old topiary hedges, dark and dripping, on either
side. The fanciful shapes of pigeons, peacocks, owls, and urns seem
distorted, almost sinister. In the sky above is a lopsided
yellowish moon with a pale greasy ring around it, like a badly
fried egg It is bright enough, however, for Fred to circumnavigate
the pines and make out the boathouse, a crouching structure of
pebblestone with a deep overhanging roof and its feet in inky
water.
“Yes?” William opens the door a cautious crack. He
is still wearing the baggy knickers and plaid kneesocks in which he
portrayed an uncultured schoolboy, and has a rough hairy brown
blanket, perhaps the one which earlier was part of the cow, round
his shoulders. He looks guilty and disreputable, like some old
crazed tramp caught hiding in the outbuildings of an estate. “What
did you want?”
“I brought your things.” Fred decides that if he
ever, God forbid, has an affair with a married woman, he won’t set
foot in her house, not so much on pragmatic or moral grounds as on
aesthetic ones.
“Oh, thank you very much.” William opens the door
just enough to admit his bag. He doesn’t invite Fred to come in,
and Fred doesn’t want to come in.
“Well, see you,” he says, turning away.
From the lake Posy’s house looks unnaturally tall
and somehow misshapen; an effect perhaps of its elevation, the
shadows and shrubberies that surround it, and the fried-egg
moonlight. As Fred walks slowly back up the path past the giant
dark vegetable birds and urns, he becomes conscious of a strong
impulse not to reenter this house; to hike instead into the nearest
village and find a bed for the night somewhere (at the pub, maybe?)
and take an early train or bus into London in the morning.
But of course he can’t do that, it would be rude
and crazy; and besides there’s Rosemary. He can’t leave her alone
with two posturing queers and a bossy adulteress whose hair looks
like a wig—though only an hour ago he thought it was all beautiful,
the real thing.
James again, Fred thinks: a Jamesian phrase, a
Jamesian situation. But in the novels the scandals and secrets of
high life are portrayed as more elegant; the people are better
mannered. Maybe because it was a century earlier; or maybe only
because the mannered elegance of James’ prose obfuscates the crude
subtext. Maybe, in fact, it was just like
now . . .
Because, after all, isn’t Rosemary the classic
James heroine: beautiful, fine, delicate, fatally impulsive? She
thinks of Posy and Edwin as her best friends; she is too generous
to see them as they are, too lighthearted and trusting. She needs
other, better friends—better in both senses—friends who will shield
her from scenes like tonight’s—
Well, isn’t that what he’s here for, the sterling
young American champion James himself might have provided? For the
second time that day Fred has the giddy sense of having got into a
novel, and again it is dizzying, exhilarating. He laughs out loud
and plunges into the blackened shrubberies, toward the house.