IX. SPACE AND TIME

 

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Up against another human being one’s own procedures take on definition.

 
 
————
 

Geryon was amazed at himself. He saw Herakles just about every day now.

 

The instant of nature

 

forming between them drained every drop from the walls of his life

 

leaving behind just ghosts

 

rustling like an old map. He had nothing to say to anyone. He felt loose and shiny.

 

He burned in the presence of his mother.

 

I hardly know you anymore, she said leaning against the doorway of his room.

 

It had rained suddenly at suppertime,

 

now sunset was startling drops at the window. Stale peace of old bedtimes

 

filled the room. Love does not

 

make me gentle or kind, thought Geryon as he and his mother eyed each other

 

from opposite shores of the light.

 

He was filling his pockets with money, keys, film. She tapped a cigarette

 

on the back of her hand.

 

I put some clean T-shirts in your top drawer this afternoon, she said.

 

Her voice drew a circle

 

around all the years he had spent in this room. Geryon glanced down.

 

This one is clean, he said,

 

it’s supposed to look this way. The T-shirt was ripped here and there.

 

GOD LOVES LOLA in red letters.

 

Glad she can’t see the back, he thought as he shrugged on his jacket and stuck

 

the camera in the pocket.

 

What time will you be home? she said. Not too late, he answered.

 

A pure bold longing to be gone filled him.

 

So Geryon what do you like about this guy this Herakles can you tell me?

 

Can I tell you, thought Geryon.

 

Thousand things he could not tell flowed over his mind. Herakles knows a lot

 

about art. We have good discussions.

 

She was looking not at him but past him as she stored the unlit cigarette

 

in her front shirt pocket.

 

“How does distance look?” is a simple direct question. It extends from a spaceless

 

within to the edge

 

of what can be loved. It depends on light. Light that for you? he said pulling

 

a book of matches

 

out of his jeans as he came towards her. No thanks dear. She was turning away.

 

I really should quit.

 
 
The Autobiography of Red
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