11
Quantum Banditos
The theory of relativity is laugh-ably
lightweight stuff compared to Quantum Mechanics and Subatomic
Particle Theory in general. I mentioned this to Tina’s father in my
last volley of Bandito-Mailed Notes, but he has been strangely
reticent. I hope and pray that his silence is some sort of Zenlike
comment on the Natural Order of Things. The only other explanation
is that (as with Quarks) he has become skeptical about my actual
existence as a bona fide aspect of reality.
I think it vital at this point to reveal that I
believe in Quarks. For those few of you who haven’t already done
some research on your own, I will give a quick layman’s definition
of a Quark: A Quark is the most likely candidate at present for the
Ultimate Building Block of the Universe.
No one has yet found a Quark, but many are looking.
Those scientists who doubt the existence of Quarks are, in my
opinion, extremely shortsighted. As proof of this, let us all
participate in what Einstein calls a “thought experiment.” This is
an experiment whose premises are scientifically and logically sound
but, for technical reasons, cannot be carried out physically.
(Einstein’s famous “elevator in vacuum” is a good example.) Since
the following experiment is basically conceptual in nature,
I will dub it “a metaphorical thought experiment.” (By the way, I
have already tried this experiment with José, and the results were
as I had predicted.) Here it is:
Tina’s father has never seen me. (I am a
metaphorical Quark.) The only evidence he has to confirm my
existence is, of course, the notes I wrote that were mailed by José
and his scattered Bandito Allies. As I’ve already mentioned, Tina’s
father, from his position as an observer, must assume that I am in
many different Bandito Strongholds at the same time. That is one
possibility. (Quarks also seem to have this property.) But this
possibility might be unacceptable to Tina’s father because of his
limited Worldview. The only other possibility is for him to deny my
existence altogether (as he seems to have done with Quarks). If he
chooses the latter of the two possibilities, then he will have to
either ignore or find some other explanation for my notes.48
Tina’s father, I fear, is ignoring the evidence for
the existence of Quarks and for the existence of Yours Truly. But
we (you, kind reader, and I) have more information at our disposal
than Tina’s father.
We know that I exist. I know that Quarks exist.
Someday someone will find a Quark. Tina’s father is unlikely to
ever find me. So my mission, my goal in life, is to find Tina’s
father49 and
confront him with all this.
“You can’t get there from here.”—Stephen
Hawking, when asked what an encounter with a black hole might be
like