ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA, 2006
DANIEL WAS TIRED. Too tired to change out of his
hospital scrubs before he threw himself on his bed. He’d just come
off a three-day shift during which he’d slept for a total of forty
minutes in a chair with his head on a table and a TV blaring The
Newlywed Game a few feet away. There were regulations about how
hard you were supposed to work a resident, but the VA hospital
didn’t pay them an excessive amount of attention.
He never complained about it. He liked being there
more than he liked being home. He liked old people and he liked
veterans, and because he was specializing in geriatric medicine,
those were the kinds of people he spent his time with.
Home, in his present case, was a one-bedroom
apartment in Arlington, Virginia, with a view of the parking lot.
He always thought he would get himself a real house in a beautiful
place. God knew he had the money. But he always got shitty,
temporary places with month-to-month leases. This one had a full
stove, but he hadn’t turned it on yet. It had three closets, but
two of them were empty. He had a big plasma-screen TV and a cable
package that entitled him to see virtually every football,
baseball, basketball, and hockey game played at every hour of the
day. And other sports, too, but he wasn’t as interested in those.
Except tennis in the middle of the night when the Australian Open
came along.
He’d skipped college altogether this time around.
He’d skipped the first two years of medical school, too. He faked
transcripts from both when he “transferred” to George Washington
for his third year. That was about a month after he’d hoped to
drown himself in the Appomattox River and failed at it. He was a
sucker for more. He had too much to lose to commit suicide
well.
GW had been happy to take him. It was remarkable
what you could get away with if you had the audacity. He wouldn’t
have done it if he hadn’t known he was reasonably prepared.
He had graduated from several colleges and
universities in the States and in Europe. He’d gone through medical
training more than once. Dozens of times, if you counted everything
he’d learned about herbs and folk medicine through the late Middle
Ages and the Renaissance. And those were surprisingly helpful to
him. It was funny how the old practices always came around
again.
It was the rhythm of human enterprise to invent and
worship some new approach, to fully reject it a generation later,
to realize the need for it again a generation or two after that and
then hastily reinvent it as new, usually without its original
elegance. Scientists hated to look backward for anything.
That was always a source of amazement to him, the
blind devotion to making things new. People didn’t seem to realize
what a slender edge they stood on in human history and that every
person before them stood on that same edge, thinking it was the
world. If they were to look back they would see quite a landscape
spreading out behind them, but mostly they didn’t.
The building superintendent had taped a recycling
poster to his apartment door, and it made him laugh. There was a
burst of enthusiasm for recycling every so often, but it usually
didn’t extend to the heart or the mind. It was usually limited to
tires or bottles. He was pro-recycling, all right. What if people
knew they were recycled? Would that change anything?
There were a few basic things he sometimes wished
he could tell people. Maybe he’d write an advice book someday. He’d
educate them on recycling and also point out practical things, such
as how every moment spent worrying about commercial jet crashes or
shark attacks is a moment wasted.
DANIEL COULD NEVER fall asleep when he wanted to.
No matter how tired he was. His brain would start to fixate in some
direction or other. Usually in the direction of Charlottesville,
Virginia, where Sophia was conducting her life in peace, he hoped—a
peace he would surely not enhance by turning up in the lobby of her
dorm, as he sometimes dreamed about.
Someday he would approach her again. He often
fantasized about that moment. Someday he would know the right
things to say to make up for last time. Someday he would call her
with a quick question or send her a humorous e-mail or casually jot
a message on her wall, and she would not be horrified by it,
because by then the disaster of their last meeting would feel as
though it was far behind them. Someday was the thing he had,
because it was a lot harder to ruin than today.
Sleep was going to have to catch him unawares if it
was going to catch him at all tonight. Hence the large TV and the
cable package.
He hauled himself over to the couch, armed with his
trusty remote. The Lakers were in a play-off series against the
Spurs. It wasn’t a deciding game tonight but still good to watch.
He settled down into another episode of the Kobe Bryant show with a
certain feeling of relaxation. He considered the story of Kobe. Not
a brand-new soul but a young one, he could tell. Those often were
the best athletes. They’d been around long enough to see the big
patterns but not long enough to be encumbered by them. There were
exceptions, of course. Shaq was fresh out of the box, and Tim
Duncan, he was pretty sure, had been going on for centuries.
Somewhere around the end of the third quarter,
during a long stretch of ads for cars and trucks, he started to
doze off. When the picture shifted back to the game, he blearily
tuned in again. The camera hung obsequiously on the big courtside
celebrities for a few seconds. That was all right. That’s what they
did. His eyelids started sinking again, when he suddenly caught
sight of something. He sat up. He blinked his eyes to clear them
and leaned forward. He felt an awful tingle in his
extremities.
There was a man just behind the courtside seats in
the second row. He was tall, with a flashy jacket and a careful
haircut. He might have been handsome if the look of him hadn’t
turned Daniel’s stomach. He wore his body stiffly, like an
expensive suit. He was in profile now, talking to somebody. He had
glanced at the camera for only a second, but that was enough.
Daniel felt the adrenaline hit his bloodstream so hard it felt as
though his eyes were vibrating in his head.
He had never seen this man before, but he knew him
well.
LATER, HIS BODY settled down. The agitation of the
first sight gave way to a feeling of vague seasickness as he tried
to process it. It wasn’t just the sight of Joaquim or the reminder
of their history that was jarring. It was the fact that Joaquim
remembered it, too.
Having spent hundreds of years so sharply alone
with his own memory, it felt bizarre for Daniel to be in any kind
of proximity with another person who knew the things about the
world that he did, who even remembered some of Daniel’s early lives
the way he did. If it had been any other soul, it would have been a
comfort.
Daniel thought of the last time he had seen
Joaquim, just a glance in a village square in Hungary in the
thirteen hundreds. He’d already learned by that point that Joaquim
also had the Memory, and he’d been on his guard, but Joaquim had
shown no sign of recognizing him. Daniel kept expecting him to turn
up much closer at hand—his uncle, his father, his teacher, his son,
his brother again—as significant people often did. But unlike most
things he dreaded, it hadn’t happened. At first, Daniel expected,
it was because his former brother’s basic misanthropy held him up
in death for long periods of time. If there was ever a soul that
died apart—far apart—it was his. In lighter moments he’d pictured
Joaquim zagging randomly around the globe, turning up here in
Jakarta, there in Yakutsk.
Much later, Daniel had learned that Joaquim had
begun to bend the rules of leaving and coming back. It was a
chilling notion. Daniel didn’t know how he did it; he’d learned it
from a mystical soul, his old (really old) friend Ben, and
how Ben came to know these things he never understood. But Daniel
could well imagine that Joaquim wouldn’t stand to wait his turn, or
put up with starting again as a powerless infant. He wouldn’t
tolerate the impotence of childhood time after time. He was geared
toward revenge, and he wouldn’t leave the hunt for his enemies to
chance, though he probably would have found them faster if he
had.
It was a bitter thing to see him again after all
that time. Daniel had been tempted to think that Joaquim’s soul had
finished, but of course not. He had too much hate to be gone for
good. Daniel imagined Joaquim using his memory for the sole purpose
of grinding out his vendettas over the centuries. Who knew how many
he had.
It was grating to see him in a body he did not
deserve. It was sick to think of how he’d done it and what had
become of the man who did deserve it. Daniel had no way of knowing
what Joaquim was up to. But he had a bleak sense that it was
dangerous for him—and dangerous for Sophia, if he ever found
her.