Don’t he know stone don’t burn?”

“Oh, that’s Claude, he’s a bit single-minded. Just let me know if he picks up a stake, will you? Look, they’re from Escrow, it’s a town not far away…the Magpyrs treated them like…well…pets. Farm animals! Just like they were trying to do back home!”

“We ain’t leaving until we’ve dealt with the Count,” said Granny. “Otherwise he’ll be sneaking back—”

“Er, excuse me,” said Oats, who seemed to have been thinking about something. “Excuse me, but did someone mention that the Queen was locked up in the crypt?”

“Safe as houses,” said Nanny. “Huge thick door and you can bar it from the inside.”

“How safe are houses from vampires?” said Oats.

Granny’s head turned sharply. “What do you mean?”

Oats took a step backward.

“Ah, I know what he means,” said Nanny. “It’s all right, we’re not daft, she won’t open up until she’s knows it’s us—”

“I meant, how does the door stop vampires?”

“Stop them? It’s a door.”

“So…they can’t turn themselves into some sort of mist, then?” said Oats, frying in the joint radiation of their stares. “Only I thought that vampires could, you see. I thought everyone knew that who knows anything about vampires…”

Granny turned on Igor. “D’you know anything about this?”

Igor’s mouth opened and shut a few times.

“The old Count never did anything like that,” he said.

“Yes,” said Nanny, “But he played fair.”

There was a rising howl from the depths of the castle, cut off suddenly.

“That was Thcrapth!” said Igor, breaking into a run.

“Thcraapthhh?” said Agnes, wrinkling her brow. Nanny grabbed her arm and dragged her after Igor.

Granny swayed a little. Her eyes had an unfocused look.

Oats glanced at her, made up his mind, staggered rather theatrically and sprawled in the dust.

Granny blinked, shook her head and glared down at him.

“Hah! All too much for you, eh?” she said hoarsely.

Trembling fingers reached down for Oats. He took them, taking care not to pull, and stood up.

“If you could just give me a hand,” he said, as her grateful weight hit his shoulder.

“Right,” said Granny. “Now let’s find the kitchens.”

“Huh? What do we want with the kitchens?”

“After a night like this we could all do with a cup of tea,” said Granny.