FOURTEEN
“ARE YOU STILL hearing voices, Aden?”
The question jerked Aden from a long, dark tunnel, slamming him into something solid. A brick wall perhaps. His mind was not as quick to reach the wall as his body, so his awareness was gradual. Where was he?
He blinked, the world coming into focus little by little. He sat in a plush leather chair. All around him were bookshelves overflowing with books. In front of him was a desk cluttered with files and papers. To his left was another leather chair, this one occupied by a man with blue eyes, a beard and glasses.
“What’s going on?” Aden asked, the words garbled. Was he tanked? He didn’t remember drinking.
“We’re in my office, having our session.” The man smiled indulgently. “Have you forgotten already?”
“Office? Session?” He drew in a deep breath, slowly released it. As the air left him, his memory seeped into center stage. He’d been at Mary Ann’s house. Victoria had been looking at his neck with hunger. He’d spied a photo, picked it up. Eve had recognized the man.
I’ll take you to him, she’d said.
Eve.
His molars ground together. Obviously she’d tossed him back in time just as she’d threatened. But to when? Where?
He surveyed himself. Ugh. He wore a plain T-shirt, his scrawny, needle-ridden arms poking out of it. There was a sharp, persistent pain in his side. His pants had holes in the knees.
“Aden, is something wrong?” the man asked him.
“No, no,” he said, because it seemed like the safest answer. He probed his side, wincing. Were those…stitches? “I’m fine.”
“You’re still healing,” was the gentle reply. “And if you want to keep healing, you have to leave the wound alone.”
He forced his hands to settle in his lap.
We’re here, Eve exclaimed happily. You’re eleven. Do you remember this office? The doctor?
Eleven. The year he’d been forked by one of the other patients at the institution where he’d been staying. Dread sprouted wings and flew through him. “The doctor…” he said.
“Yes, Aden?”
His cheeks heated at having been caught talking to himself. The doctor. “Dr….” He couldn’t remember the man’s name. He was youngish, even though he had a beard—which was probably meant to make him look older. Tall, on the lean side.
“It’s Gray.” A patient sigh filled the void between them. “Dr. Gray.”
He stiffened. Dr. Gray. Mary Ann Gray. Mary Ann’s…father? He pulled the photograph to the front of his mind and compared it to the man beside him. Take away the beard and the glasses and the two men were an exact match.
He could have freaked out. He wanted to. But he remained where he was, as if rocks held him down, trying to absorb the shock of what he’d just learned. All those years ago, he’d had a connection to Mary Ann, albeit indirectly, and he hadn’t known.
I tried to tell you we knew her, Eve said.
Well, what d’you know, Caleb said.
“I know who you are,” Aden told the doctor, more emotion than he’d intended in his tone.
Dr. Gray only smiled. “I should hope so, Aden. Now let’s get down to business, shall we?” He propped his elbow on the armrest of his chair and peered over at Aden, expectant.
“I—yes,” he said, though he wanted to shout No! A thousand questions rushed through his mind, but he couldn’t ask them. He had to be careful to appear eleven years old, to answer as he had the first time this meeting had happened.
Losing his favorite foster family the last time Eve had done this wasn’t the worst thing to have happened. He’d woken up from that trip in a home he hadn’t recognized, with people he’d never seen. That “memory loss” had earned him another stay in another mental hospital. Everything you do earns you a stay in an institution.
Sometimes it did seem that way. Upon his return, Eve had promised never to transport him again. Of course, she’d promised that before. Her exuberance always outweighed her qualms, he supposed.
Unlike those other times, though, he couldn’t work up a good anger. To see eleven-year-old Mary Ann, to know if she dulled his powers, even as a child, might be worth any price.
Where was she now?
Did Dr. Gray know she was able to mute other people’s unnatural abilities? Would he freak if Aden asked? Probably. How much would Aden’s future change if he did? Would he ever meet Mary Ann?
Ah. There was his anger. White-hot, bubbling. If this session changed his future so much that he hadn’t moved to Crossroads, hadn’t met Mary Ann or Victoria…
I sense the direction of your thoughts, Elijah said. I wish I could reassure you, but…
Great. He was going to have to do his best to remember every little thing he’d said and exactly how he’d said it. Did eleven-year-olds talk like babies or grown-ups?
“Aden?”
He’d lost the thread of the conversation already; he’d have to be a lot more careful. “Yes?”
“I asked you a question.”
“I’m sorry. Will you repeat it, please?”
“I will, but I expect you to pay attention for the rest of our time together. All right?” Only after he nodded did Dr. Gray continue. “There have been reports that you’ve been arguing loudly with people no one else can hear. So I ask again, are you still hearing voices?”
“I—I—” How had he answered this? “Uh, no.” He wouldn’t have told the truth. Would he?
“Are you sure?”
Aden focused on the University of Oklahoma Department of Psychology diploma framed proudly between the bookshelves. More calmly, he said, “Yes, I’m sure.”
Dr. Gray frowned over at him. “We’ve had several sessions together, but you always keep me at a distance, telling me nothing more than what can be found within your file. This is a safe space, Aden, where the truth will never be used against you. I hope I’ve proven that to you.”
“You have.” The memories of this day, hazy though they were, finally began to flood him. Dr. Gray had been unbelievably nice to him, and for once, he’d been eager to please. “I just—I—I hate this place. I want to leave.” There. Now they were on the right track.
“Where would you go? I’m not asking to be cruel, but to make a point. No foster family will have you right now. Everyone thinks you’re dangerous, so you can’t be allowed to play freely with other children.”
Normal children, he meant. There were kids here, but they were all supposedly crazy like him.
“Has someone hurt you?” the doctor persisted. “Is that why you want to leave? Did you have another argument with a patient?”
Silent, he kicked out his stained tennis shoes.
I brought you here for a reason, Eve said. I don’t care what the others say. Ask him what you’re dying to know.
“I just want to go back to the ranch,” he said, ignoring Eve. Then he blanched. For a moment he’d forgotten to stick to only what he’d said the first time he was here.
“Ranch?” Dr. Gray sighed again. “To my knowledge, you’ve never lived at a ranch. For now, this is your home. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it has to be.”
Ask him about Mary Ann, Eve insisted.
Don’t do it, Ad, Julian said. I’m happy with the way things are and don’t want them to change.
I mean, we’re close to having a girlfriend, Caleb added.
“Aden?”
Dr. Gray. He had to backtrack to remember the direction of their conversation. Had he argued with any of the other patients, was what he’d been asked. “Uh, no. Everyone stays away from me now.”
“Oh, really?” The doctor tsked under his tongue. “I know a few of the patients cornered you yesterday. I know they threatened you, someone hit you and you retaliated. If the orderlies hadn’t stopped you…Listen, it’s okay, whatever you’ve done, whatever’s going on,” he said softly. “You can tell me anything. I won’t judge you, son. I only want to help you. Let me help you. Please.”
“I—”
Ask him, ask him, ask him! I won’t shut up until you do. Eve, proving stubborn.
For God’s sake, what if he wakes up in another state, no Mary Ann, no Victoria, Elijah said, angry. I hate what Mary Ann does to us, but he’s finally out of the hospitals and off the drugs they used to feed him.
You’re the psychic, Caleb said. Tell us what will happen if he questions the doctor about the girl.
I told you, I—Elijah stopped abruptly, and everyone held their breath, waiting for him to continue, knowing he’d just gotten something. Several minutes passed, an eternity in which Aden once again lost track of what the doctor was saying. During that time, Elijah gasped, groaned.
“What?” he finally asked, and as Dr. Gray repeated whatever he’d been saying, Elijah said, You know I usually only predict death but lately I’ve known, well, more. And right now I know that if you mention Mary Ann, one of two things will happen. Dr. Gray will flip and leave you sooner rather than later. You’ll never meet Mary Ann. Or Dr. Gray will flip, still leave as planned, but take an interest in what you’ve told him. If the second happens, you’ll indeed meet Mary Ann—and one of us will be freed.
Eve gasped. One of us will be freed? Who? And how?
I don’t know. I wish I did, but…I’m sorry.
If one could be freed, that had to mean they all could be freed. He would have everything he’d ever wanted. Peace, a happily ever after for his companions. A normal life with his new friends. Of course, that normal life wouldn’t last long, since his death was steadily approaching, but a mere glimpse of such a life would be better than never knowing it at all.
But, if the other alternative happened, he would have none of that. He wouldn’t even have Mary Ann’s friendship. Would he even go to Crossroads, Oklahoma? Would he ever meet Victoria? he couldn’t help but wonder again.
He wanted to take some time, figure out the best course of action, maybe sleep on it and weigh the pros versus the cons. That wasn’t how this worked, however. He would return to the present the moment this session ended. He didn’t have the luxury of time.
If only Eve could control how long they stayed. But she couldn’t, not really. When the scene she’d imagined played out, so did his time there. He had to choose now. A chance at getting everything he’d ever wanted or the loss of everything he’d ever wanted.
Whatever he decided, he had to act—
“Do you have a daughter?” The question slipped from him before he could stop it. For a moment, he experienced panic. Absolute, blind panic. He’d done it. He’d decided: he’d asked.
All four souls gasped. In astonishment, horror or excitement, he didn’t know.
What he did know? There was no going back now.
The good doctor’s head tilted to the side, his lips curling in another of those frowns. “I do, yes. How did you know?” No flip out yet.
His heart drummed in his ears, his breathing fast and shallow, as he searched for an answer that wouldn’t get him tossed out of the office this very moment. Then he spotted it. A framed picture of a little girl with black-as-night hair, hazel eyes and bronzed skin.
“The, uh, photo on your desk. She’s pretty.”
“Oh. Thank you. That’s my Mary Ann. She’s your age. Looks just like her mom.” Dr. Gray shook his head, as though he couldn’t believe what he’d just admitted. Normal people didn’t like to talk about their loved ones with dangerous crazies, Aden knew, no matter how young those dangerous crazies were. Or appeared to be. “Let’s get back on track. I need you to talk to me, Aden. That’s the only way I can help you.”
For the doctor’s sake, he said, “You asked me if I was still hearing voices. The answer is yes.” Embarrassment he didn’t have to force dripped from the undercurrents of his tone. His fingers twisted the fabric of his shirt, wrinkles branching in every direction. He’d bring them back to Mary Ann in a bit. Hopefully Dr. Gray would be more willing to chat once “business” was out of the way. “All the time.”
Come on. We’re not that bad. Julian.
Stab me in the back, why don’t you. Caleb.
“Sorry guys,” he wanted to say, but he kept quiet.
“No progress, then.” Dr. Gray planted his left ankle atop his right knee. “We can talk to your psychiatrist about changing your medication again.”
“All right,” he said, even though he suddenly recalled how the new drugs had affected him. Stomach cramps, vomiting. Dehydration and a week hooked to an IV.
Dr. Gray anchored his glasses on his nose. “Let’s switch gears for a while. Since you’re still hearing voices, I’d like to know what they want from you.”
“All kinds of stuff.”
“Like?”
What had he told him, all those years ago? “Like…control of the body.” Yes, he’d mentioned that. He hadn’t usually been so open with his doctors, but something about Dr. Gray had put him at ease.
If only you’d consider it, Eve said.
Really, giving up the captain’s hat once in a while isn’t unreasonable, Caleb said. You used to let us take over for a bit and we always gave back control. I never understood why you stopped.
You’d want control, too, if you were powerless, Elijah said.
Great. They were ganging up on him. “You aren’t powerless,” he gritted out. He was here, in the past, wasn’t he?
“Excuse me?” Dr. Gray said.
“Oh, uh, nothing. Just giving myself a pep talk.”
You’re well on your way to that flip-out, Elijah said with a sigh.
Frowning, the doctor made a notation in his notebook. “Now, you called it the body. Let’s explore that a moment. If the voices have to ask for control of your—the body, that means they can’t take it on their own. You get to decide. That’s a good thing, yes? Your being in control?”
His companions might not be able to take over his body without his permission, but they could cause untold damage without it. “Yeah. Sure.”
The pen flew over the notebook as the doctor made another notation. “Since you have control, do you ever force the voices to leave you?”
“Me force them? No. But sometimes they do leave.” Because of his daughter.
“And what happens to you when they’re gone?”
Aden smiled, though it was laced with guilt. “Peace.”
“Oh, Aden.” Dr. Gray placed a hand over his heart, expression softening. “That’s wonderful.”
Bet he feels like a proud papa. Eve actually sounded softer, as though she was warming to the doctor.
That hadn’t happened last time. Which meant peace wasn’t something he’d admitted to last time. Of course not. Peace wasn’t something he’d known about back then. His smile faded. “I’m just kidding. They aren’t allowed to leave. They stay with me always.”
Dr. Gray rested his hand on the side of his face, the pen poking out between his fingers. “How can I help you if I have to wade through half-truths and lies?”
He glanced down at his feet, hoping he appeared properly shamed. “I won’t do it again.”
“See that you don’t. But why did you do it this time?”
He shrugged, no answer jumping out at him.
“All right. Well, why don’t you tell me why you let the voices return to you once they’re out? Because I know you were telling the truth about the voices leaving, not about it being a joke. You’re in control, remember?”
No way out of this one. He had to cop to the truth. At least some of it. “They’re bound to me like…” His head tilted to the side as he considered his next words. “Like pets on a leash. I can’t keep them out.”
That earned him an Ouch from Julian and an I’ll make you pay for calling us pets. I hope you know that from Caleb.
Oh, he knew he’d pay, but now wasn’t the time to worry about that. “See, they’re people, like you and me, only they weren’t given bodies of their own. They were somehow sucked into mine, forcing me to share my head with them.”
Dr. Gray took the admission in stride, surprisingly unfazed. “A few days ago, you mentioned that there are four different voices. Or rather, people. Still only four?”
“Yes.”
“And they are…” The doctor flipped a page in the notebook. “Your age? All of them?”
“No. I don’t know how old they are.”
“I see,” he muttered and Aden didn’t think he knew he’d spoken aloud. “Tell me about them. What they’re like.”
And while you’re at it, Eve said, ask about his daughter.
Soon. He didn’t want the doctor to have a reason to change the subject back to therapy again. “They’re nice. For the most part,” he added for their benefit.
That earned him several snorts and another threat from Caleb.
“And do they have names?” Dr. Gray asked.
Aden rattled them off.
His eyes lit with interest at the mention of Eve. “Eve is a female, I’m guessing.”
“Yeah. A girl.” There was enough disgust in his voice to make the doctor fight a grin.
Oh, hush, Eve said. You’re the luckiest boy on the planet, to have my guidance.
“I’m most curious about her,” the doctor said.
Of course he is, Caleb said, clearly offended. What am I, dog food? Why doesn’t he want to know about me?
“Aden. I lost you again.”
Aden jerked to attention, his head clearing, Caleb and Eve’s voices fading as he refocused. “I’m sorry. What?”
“I had asked you a question.” Frowning, the doctor eased back in his chair. “What was going on inside your head just then?”
“Nothing,” he hedged.
An eyebrow arched. “I thought you weren’t going to lie to me anymore.”
Aden rubbed his temples and considered his options. He could admit the truth, but at this rate, Dr. Gray would never stop questioning him and he’d never be able to steer the conversation back to Mary Ann. And what if he was whisked away before he even got the chance?
The thought of being whisked away was what finally propelled him into action.
Now or never. “You’re most curious about Eve,” he said. “Well, she can time travel into younger versions of me. If you’d check my file, you’d see that I’ve disappeared a few times. From locked rooms. You’ll see I’ve reappeared in places I shouldn’t have been able to get inside of. The doctors treating me at the time claimed I was just a great lock picker, that I liked confusing people. The truth is, I traveled into a younger version of myself, like I said, and accidentally changed the future.”
Dr. Gray blinked at him. “I know I told you I wanted you to open up, but I meant I wanted honesty. I believe I mentioned that, as well.”
“And that’s what I’m giving you. The ability I mentioned is how a sixteen-year-old boy is sitting in front of you now, rather than an eleven-year-old. It’s how a sixteen-year-old who knows your—”
“Aden. That’s enough.”
He gulped, but once again, he didn’t allow the doctor to deter him. “You didn’t let me finish. I’m really a sixteen-year-old boy who knows your daughter, Mary Ann. We—”
“Aden!” Dr. Gray pinched the bridge of his nose. “You have to stop this. It’s not helping your case.”
“Just listen to me.” What could he say to make this man believe him? “More than time travel, I can raise the dead. Take me to a cemetery and I’ll prove it. Just don’t bring Mary Ann. She negates my abilities. Corpses will rise. You’ll see.”
“For the last time, enough!” Dr. Gray was pale, blue veins throbbing under the surface of his skin. He cleared his throat in an effort to collect himself. “I shouldn’t have indulged your question about my daughter earlier. I won’t tolerate a patient, even a child, dragging my family into a session. Do you understand me?”
“If you won’t take me out of this building, fine. I can prove it another way.” The words left him in a desperate rush. “Mary Ann has a best friend named Penny. One day she will date a boy named Tucker.” Maybe telling the doctor about the future would change it as irrevocably as altering the past. But he was already on this path and couldn’t stop himself. “Tucker’s a jerk, by the way, and you should put a stop to that before it ever starts. Or maybe she’s supposed to date him. I don’t know. She will—”
“Okay. I’ve had it. I want you to leave, Aden. Right now.” Dr. Gray pointed to the door. “Clearly you’ve been through my personal files. Clearly you’re trying to compare your life to hers. Well, it’s not going to work. I want you out of this office before I do something I’ll regret.”
Compare his life to whose? Mary Ann’s? Or someone else’s? Someone equally close to the doctor? “I don’t understand. Who are you talking about?”
“I told you to go.”
Aden pushed to his feet. His legs were shaky, but he didn’t tumble back into his seat. “Tell me who you meant and I will. You’ll never have to meet with me again.” Well, not here. “Please.”
Before the doctor could reply, Aden’s mind began fading to black. No. No, no, no. He wasn’t ready, had more to say, more to hear. His struggles increased. “For God’s sake, just tell…”
Too late.
The tunnel sucked him back in, spinning him round and round, down…down…
The last thought to drift through his mind was a question. Would Mary Ann still be a part of his life when he returned?
We’re about to find out, Elijah said grimly.